How common is it for someone to be a highly functional addict?
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
How common is it for someone to be a highly functional addict?
I'm sorry for all of the questions, I'm trying to wrap my brain around everything I've been thrown in the last few weeks.
AH is taking either percocet, darvocet or possibly oxy. I've talked to a counselor about him today and we have seen him together on and off for 2+ years. Counselor (who deals with addictions alot) said today he's never seen AH NOT come in their on drugs. I was shocked. All the while I was thinking he was fine. He dresses neatly, goes to work, has a great job, is around my family and friends who don't detect anything etc.
Until the last 2 weeks when he's started using more and spiraling out of control, I had NO concrete reason to believe he was using. He's got all the medical signs of someone whose abused opiates for a long time. Very low pain tolerance, weight loss, grey skin, he was just diagnosed with Menaires disease?? The same thing that Rush Limbaugh had because of long term vicodin/oxy use. He's also having and had alot of medical issues that just aren't adding up. His family dr. is very perplexed and has run him through many tests.
He is very rarely (until recently) slurring, stumbling, spacey etc. I've always questioned it if something seemed off. He of course denies all of it. I also know that most likely he keeps his use mostly NOT around me because I watch him like a hawk.
So how common is it for someone to have possible daily use, but it be virtually undetectable to the untrained eye? Also, he has had to have drug tests in the past for his dr. and he tested clean. But I know he's not used for however long before the test so he'll pass it. Unless there's some other way around it so he can pass it?? Thanks so much - I'm learning so much and I'm really feeling like the knowledge of what's going on gives me the strength to be solid in my stance to leave. I sometimes feel like unless he's very obviously high that I doubt myself. But everything counselor and I talked about to day leads up to long term abuse. As in many, many years. But I NEVER had a clue, nor did his family, mine, friends etc.
AH is taking either percocet, darvocet or possibly oxy. I've talked to a counselor about him today and we have seen him together on and off for 2+ years. Counselor (who deals with addictions alot) said today he's never seen AH NOT come in their on drugs. I was shocked. All the while I was thinking he was fine. He dresses neatly, goes to work, has a great job, is around my family and friends who don't detect anything etc.
Until the last 2 weeks when he's started using more and spiraling out of control, I had NO concrete reason to believe he was using. He's got all the medical signs of someone whose abused opiates for a long time. Very low pain tolerance, weight loss, grey skin, he was just diagnosed with Menaires disease?? The same thing that Rush Limbaugh had because of long term vicodin/oxy use. He's also having and had alot of medical issues that just aren't adding up. His family dr. is very perplexed and has run him through many tests.
He is very rarely (until recently) slurring, stumbling, spacey etc. I've always questioned it if something seemed off. He of course denies all of it. I also know that most likely he keeps his use mostly NOT around me because I watch him like a hawk.
So how common is it for someone to have possible daily use, but it be virtually undetectable to the untrained eye? Also, he has had to have drug tests in the past for his dr. and he tested clean. But I know he's not used for however long before the test so he'll pass it. Unless there's some other way around it so he can pass it?? Thanks so much - I'm learning so much and I'm really feeling like the knowledge of what's going on gives me the strength to be solid in my stance to leave. I sometimes feel like unless he's very obviously high that I doubt myself. But everything counselor and I talked about to day leads up to long term abuse. As in many, many years. But I NEVER had a clue, nor did his family, mine, friends etc.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: on to bigger & better things
Posts: 4,122
In my honest opinion....it will only be a matter of time. It always ends up a no win situation. Sorry, that's just the way it is......
I held more than one job, meaning a full time and a couple of on the side part timers for quite a while before the dope caught up to me.....don't get me wrong, I missed work up until that time off & on too, but......after a while I would only seek out jobs that would allow me to be messed up....i.e. bars, etc. Not to long after all that...I couldn't even make it to work at the damn bar.....I ended up homeless, in & out of jail, shoplifting to get money to support my habit, you name it..... so.... for what it's worth, my opinion is a person if they are a drug addict, cannot use successfully indefinitely. It will eventually bite them in the a$$.
I held more than one job, meaning a full time and a couple of on the side part timers for quite a while before the dope caught up to me.....don't get me wrong, I missed work up until that time off & on too, but......after a while I would only seek out jobs that would allow me to be messed up....i.e. bars, etc. Not to long after all that...I couldn't even make it to work at the damn bar.....I ended up homeless, in & out of jail, shoplifting to get money to support my habit, you name it..... so.... for what it's worth, my opinion is a person if they are a drug addict, cannot use successfully indefinitely. It will eventually bite them in the a$$.
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Join Date: May 2008
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So say if he was addicted to Oxy, then switched to Methadone, went through rehab and was clean for 4-5 months ago. Is this true that because he was addicted that if he started using again it will always turn into an addiction (as in every day use?). Is it possible that he may take percocet, go 2-3 days, take another one etc? I'm thinking that for the last year (excluding the last 3 months) that it was something like that. I just cannot fathom HOW someone could be virtually undetectable by ANYONE. KWIM? If I"m being a pain, tell me 
It's almost like this knowledge of what/how this happened will help me to stand behind my decision to have him leave.
BTW - I'm also very afraid that if he backs his usage back down to "normal" and I cannot detect it AND lies about it that I"ll be sucked back into believing him because he's *that* believable when his useage is down. So I"m trying my best to educate myself.
It's almost like this knowledge of what/how this happened will help me to stand behind my decision to have him leave.BTW - I'm also very afraid that if he backs his usage back down to "normal" and I cannot detect it AND lies about it that I"ll be sucked back into believing him because he's *that* believable when his useage is down. So I"m trying my best to educate myself.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
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True. The very nature of addiction is that you can never use your substance "in moderation" ever again without risking a relapse. It is indeed very possible that a person can go months or even years without anyone being able to tell they are on opiates. I did. We addicts are masters of deception.
kj
kj
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Join Date: May 2008
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I was afraid of that. KJ you said you did it (meaning used without anyone knowing). Were you still high and normal looking acting? How can someone do that, is it just after so much use? Is it just that they become so use to how to behave, but all the while they're high? How does someone use and it's NOT obvious?
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: cape cod
Posts: 2,320
I think, IMO in the beginnings of usage, you can appear normal. (no one caught on to me for quite some time) As your usage increases, so do outward signs. They're certainly more subtle than alcohol, but they are there. Eventuall everything will go to hell in a handbasket.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
I was high-functioning for years - except when I was not (when I binged). I held jobs. I raised kids. I was the hostess of all the family holidays, dinners, functions. Eventually, however, I crossed a line & there was no going back. The only time I didn't use was when I was forced in some way not to use. I never not used by choice - so long as my addiction was active.
I'll also say that I was pulled over a number of times while driving and always managed to wiggle out of DUIs. I used fatigue, illness, stress - you name it - as an excuse for any suspect behavior.
I've never met an addict/alcoholic yet who could go back to recreational use.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
I'll also say that I was pulled over a number of times while driving and always managed to wiggle out of DUIs. I used fatigue, illness, stress - you name it - as an excuse for any suspect behavior.
I've never met an addict/alcoholic yet who could go back to recreational use.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Like Sugah, I was a very high functioning addict.
I was the Soccer Mom, Room Mother at School, on the Board of Directors for a Youth Soccer Organization, all the while working full time, keeping the house clean, laundry done, meals cooked, . . . . As long as I was high.
When I wasn't high, was actually the times when I was accused of BEING high. I had no energy. I was sick, bitchy, anxious . . . I had to make up reasons as to why I was unable to continue my Superwoman activities for the time being. The time being until I got more pills.
Most opiate addicted addicts actually get hyper from narcotics. A 'normal person' will take pain pills and it makes them drowsy, sleepy . . . why do you think so many people sleep right after surgeries for example. It's the pain pills. I know when I took them, I was flying around like a mad woman. my energy never let up. Euphoria; intense feelings of well being as the dictionary describes it.
Although some addicts can take narcotic pain meds as prescribed while in Recovery. For me, I'm not willing to see if I can or can't. I fought too hard for my Recovery and for me to think I can take one would be the same as playing Russian Roulette. Too big of a risk.
And us addicts are the very best con artists. We can lie to the point of convincing someone that the sky is green and the grass is blue.
God Bless,
Judy
I was the Soccer Mom, Room Mother at School, on the Board of Directors for a Youth Soccer Organization, all the while working full time, keeping the house clean, laundry done, meals cooked, . . . . As long as I was high.
When I wasn't high, was actually the times when I was accused of BEING high. I had no energy. I was sick, bitchy, anxious . . . I had to make up reasons as to why I was unable to continue my Superwoman activities for the time being. The time being until I got more pills.
Most opiate addicted addicts actually get hyper from narcotics. A 'normal person' will take pain pills and it makes them drowsy, sleepy . . . why do you think so many people sleep right after surgeries for example. It's the pain pills. I know when I took them, I was flying around like a mad woman. my energy never let up. Euphoria; intense feelings of well being as the dictionary describes it.
Although some addicts can take narcotic pain meds as prescribed while in Recovery. For me, I'm not willing to see if I can or can't. I fought too hard for my Recovery and for me to think I can take one would be the same as playing Russian Roulette. Too big of a risk.
And us addicts are the very best con artists. We can lie to the point of convincing someone that the sky is green and the grass is blue.
God Bless,
Judy
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Join Date: May 2008
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So bottom line, it is very possible and most likely that if he started dabbling AFTER (which I'm sure he did - he admits it) rehab it eventually became daily use, although undetectable. Now in the last 3 weeks it's escalated to obvious high. In reality, there is no turning back for him right now without rehab, right? He probably can't stop by himself OR do a DA rehab - is that right? He swears he's fine and can stop @ anytime. Says he will NOT go to rehab ("all they do is confine me to a room and give me crap that doesn't work anyway - I don't have a problem, I can get off them on my own.")
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
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((Callie)) - I'm not saying he CAN'T do it on his own, but from what you are posting, he doesn't WANT to. One of the addict's favorite thing to say is "I can stop any time I want to"...they just don't want to.
Quitting the drugs is not the hard part, although with what he's using, he will go through some nasty withdrawals. The hard part is not picking up again when we are dealing with daily life. That's where rehab helps a lot...you have to deal with daily stuff and are in an environment based on recovery.
From what I can see, he has no intention of quitting any time soon. He will throw up a reason why everything doesn't work...rehab, meetings, treatment, etc.
Personally, I think it's going to take some harsh consequences for him to even think about recovery.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Quitting the drugs is not the hard part, although with what he's using, he will go through some nasty withdrawals. The hard part is not picking up again when we are dealing with daily life. That's where rehab helps a lot...you have to deal with daily stuff and are in an environment based on recovery.
From what I can see, he has no intention of quitting any time soon. He will throw up a reason why everything doesn't work...rehab, meetings, treatment, etc.
Personally, I think it's going to take some harsh consequences for him to even think about recovery.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 607
I think most addicts start off as functional addicts, and as the disease progresses they become less and less functional. Those guys who hit you up for spare change at the gas station to buy their next crack rock, they were once functional too.
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: on the southern tip
Posts: 49
Callie I understand why you are asking all the questions, and get the sense that the reality ofd the extenet of his addiction is sinking in. Since I have clarity now - after the fact - of how my addiction affected my wife and children, I am truly sorry you have to deal with this. Unfortunately we do not only hurt ourselves with our addiction. Its a family disease.
Now that it is clear from all the posts that he is on a downhill slide - remember this disease is progressive - it becomes really important for you to look after you.
What are you going to do. How are you going to look after the children's interests. How are you going to cope. How are you going to find the support you need.
I appreciate its complicated with his mental health, but I would encourage you to find help for you.
Please take care of yourself.
Now that it is clear from all the posts that he is on a downhill slide - remember this disease is progressive - it becomes really important for you to look after you.
What are you going to do. How are you going to look after the children's interests. How are you going to cope. How are you going to find the support you need.
I appreciate its complicated with his mental health, but I would encourage you to find help for you.
Please take care of yourself.
Retired Pro Drunk
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
There's no such thing as a "functional" addict.
Many of us (like me) can fool others for a while, keeping jobs, and maintaining what appears on the surface to be a normal life. This never lasts forever.
But even when I appeared to be keeping it together, I was falling apart emotionally, spiritually... Sick emotions can be tough to spot. And when one is malfunctiong emotionally, what else have you got?
Many of us (like me) can fool others for a while, keeping jobs, and maintaining what appears on the surface to be a normal life. This never lasts forever.
But even when I appeared to be keeping it together, I was falling apart emotionally, spiritually... Sick emotions can be tough to spot. And when one is malfunctiong emotionally, what else have you got?
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