ccgirl

I came here a week or so ago and (again) fessed up about some not so great behavior. I took a big ol bottle of pills and had a binge. I started an outpatient program (I didn't meet criteria for inpatient) and it's been wonderful. It's made me do a lot of soul searching and a lot of crying (not in pity, just emotions finally being let out) Having said all that, I, like Liz seem to be having a lingering case of a couple ofw/d symptoms (mostly of the stomach stuff, ahem) Any advice?

Also in the midst of all this one of my biggest fears has come to fruition; I had an ultrasound last week and they found a mass or something in my uterus; I'm having it biopsied in the morning. I've gotta tell you, I'm not taking this too well; first, I'm afraid it's something bad, second, I'm afraid of pain meds.


As always, thanks for letting me vent.

cali

one step at a time-I know it's easy to get worked up things that are important such as health issues-
you are headed in the right direction-stay close with your recovery network.
Talk about the things that are on your mind-that'll keep everything right-sized and in perspective.
Good luck tomorrow-prayers your way

GratefulGirl

hi cc - i dont have any advice on the w/ds - im sorry..but i am sending a big hug - so.. (((((((((((((((CC))))))))))))))))))
secondly - i know its really scary to get news like that from your doctor, but just take a deep breath and deal with it as it happens. try not to predict the future or even think about the "what ifs". just get through it - moment by moment - and before you know it, the first few things are over. the pain med concern, can you tell your doctor so he can prescribe something nonaddictive?

aasharon90

CC im here for u....message me anytime.
Ur in my thoughts and a prayer for
guidance, strength and positive
news tomorrow.

butterflylover

ccgirl, my thoughts and prayers go out to you.

formergolf99

cc...You are in my thoughts. Good vibes being sent your way.
Golf

northbelle

(((((cc)))))))))))))...I am so sorry !! I hope for the best possible results! I will be thinking of you until you post again and let us know how it went!!! I usre care alot about you and feel blessed to share the struggle with you..!!! I bet that you and I would be great friends in person ! I love your sense of humor..how are your kids doing these days? They must be good kids as you don't complain much about em!! LOL..
Please let us know asap when you get back from the dr...
love north

ccgirl

Oh, North, you don't know how tired I am. My kids are wonderful and I feel like a terrible mother. I'm either high, or detoxing and sick or my mood swings are out of control (I'm bipolar) Today is just not a good day. I can't seem to stop crying, my house is trashed because I've been out of it and sometimes I just wish I could lie down and go to sleep somewhere for a long time. Thanks so much for always listening to me. I hope you're feeling better. How is it going with you?


Asharon, it's so strange to see you here, strange but nice. When I feel more composed I'll take you up on your offer. Thank you.

aasharon90

cc...i use to feel sooooo tired...so tired to just lay down
and sleep forever.....it was all the poison i had in my
system that was zapping every ounce of energy from me
every ounce of soul, feelings,,,,,,

Once i dried up esp. with help from others...i began to
see and feel things...thoughts in a different way....

it was kinda exciting....

then to incorperate exercise, good eating habits and
a check up from ur doctor to make sure u r
ticking ok....

And most of all RECOVERY EVERY SINGLE DAY...

then things in my life began to lighten up...


This can happen to you too cc....

SURRENDER is the key to unlock the door
to a brighter joyful sober and clean life...

One that you and I deserve soooo much.

ccgirl

Thanks Sharon. I went and had my biopsy done today and will meet with Doctor next Thursday. Once we know what we're dealing with, I've told my husband I want to go somewhere for some more help. I live in the greater Boston area and we have a wonderful program from a renound hospital called McLean Hospital; they've just opened up a dual diagnosis treatment center. They will work simultaneously with bipolar disorder and substance abuse. In the meantime, I will continue the program I am attendending and I am going to my first N/A meeting over the weekend (too sore right now to sit through one, lol)

I am totally sick and tired of being sick and tired and I've been fighting the battle withouth all the weapons I've needed. I fully intend to fix that. I've been trying; I've just not been going about it inthe way I need to. I think I may have it now.

I'm first and foremost keeping my fingers crossed for next Thursday though. After that I can breathe again and get ready to fight the good fight.

cyberwolf

hey cc

Prayers for you here, hope the news you get is better than you expect, be as strong as you can and try to be positive as you can (dam hard I know)

Hang in there and let us know how you are doing

Take good care of yourself and do things that make you feel good wether its a day away or a hot bath fullof bubbles with the candles lit.

Big hugs coming at you!!!

CW
x

ccgirl

OK, so I've been a real bummer I know; but here's something positive about what's been going on.

While yes, I did freak out about my medical condition, guess what? My first thought was NOT to use! I actually went home and cleaned the hell out of my house instead! So, something positive! LOL

adoublelife

That seems like a long time to wait for results, but in the meantime just know we're all pulling for you and hoping for the best. Sorry you're struggling, but things will get better. Be gentle with yourself during this time. Best Wishes!

mikiglen

cc, how are you hanging in there? please e mail me, as i haven't been around. i still want to know what's going on with you, and can still be a shoulder to lean on
love ya