QuietlE77

I've been on Suboxone for nearly 2 years now. I started off on one 8mg strip, once a day, and have only decreased that dosage by 1/4th, in the past 3 or 4 mos. When I first started, I was sure that I would've only been on it for two or three months. Now I'm scared to get off of it.

I live with my AH, who is actively abusing methadone. I'm afraid to get off of the Suboxone while he's still abusing his pills, because I might relapse. It's Like an alcoholic, living in a bar, it just doesn't work. He has to take something for pain management, but he's actually in an intensive outpatient program, now. He hasn't bought any pills, off the street, that I'm aware of, which is a little victory, because he used to spend half of his monthly income on pills, causing all kinds of stress and troubles. He now abuses his medication on a weekly cycle, rather than monthly, taking 3/4 of his script, the first couple days and running out, the last 3 days.

Sometimes, due to all of the stress of living with an addict, while still being one myself, I will take 1/2 or 1 extra strip, myself. I know it's wrong and it's not much different from what my AH is doing, but I just can't deal with things, in a healthy way, 100% of the time. Sometimes, I can't even feel the extra that I've taken; it just doesn't make any difference, physically. I would really like to be able to say that I'm sober, without adding, "well, I'm still on the Suboxone, but...." people don't understand that Suboxone is so different from methadone or other opiates. If I NEVER took more than I should, I would FEEL as though I was sober. I just don't feel anything different from my normal self, while being on the 3/4 strip. I don't feel as though I'm getting high or even maintaining. I'm just not having to deal with any withdraw from the opiate abuse, prior to Suboxone. I'm sure that withdraw has been gone for quite some time, but I've heard that methadone withdraw can last for up to a year and a half.

I'm looking for help, support, tips on how to taper off of the Suboxone in a healthy way. I DON'T WANT TO RELAPSE, and I'm just not sure how to do this, while living with someone who still abuses methadone. I look forward to hearing from someone, soon. :-)

OpioPhobe

Quiet - you are in a tough spot. If I was in a household with methadone lying around I would be toast. Sure, I might hold out for a while, but there would be a rough day where the easy access would get to me. I think you need to figure out a way to either get your AH clean or take other measures to remove the immediate access to methadone. A common thread of advice is that we aren't supposed to let others influence our recovery, but I think we also need to recognize our limitations. For me, it would be a real problem to live with someone abusing methadone.

Maybe you could get him to get his doses from a clinic? That would keep it away from you and it would probably be better for him. He would have to go there daily to get his meds and wouldn't run out every week.

The one thing that I would say is that you can lead by example with your AH. You mentioned that taking more than is prescribed is "not much different" than what your AH is doing, but I view it as the exact same. One either takes their meds as prescribed or they don't. It is black / white. In any case, if you are not able to deal with the stress of the current situation without taking more suboxone than prescribed I think you should look to make changes before going down to nothing.

Are you currently going to any support group meetings? That might help you get over the hump with this.