purechaos

So a little back story.. I have been on narcotic pain meds for the last three years. This started with a full term twin pregnancy which essencially destroyed my insides.. All of my meds were prescribed although I eventually had to take more and more to get the desired pain relief. So I went through the list of meds eventually to the point where I was prescribed Morphine 30mgs every 3 hours and needing to take more. Anyways long story short I am now pregnant... right away I consulted my ob who pulled me off of the morphine and started me on Subutex... then after awhile I was switched over to percocet and tramadol (for pain reasons) and then back to Subutex.... Thats where I am at now my primary doc told me that it doesnt cross the placenta and my baby will have no withdrawals after delivery... everything I have read online says differently.

So I am quitting for my baby. I was on a dose of 8mg 3times per day (high dose right? ) ... The last four days I have only taken 2mgs. This morning I took my last dose... I also met with my OB and talked about my plans. She prescribed me some Klonidine and something safe to take for anxiety (basically benadryl). I do not plan to take any more opiates during my pregnancy.

So here is my journey. I may need some support the next few days... I am hoping the meds help a bit... I need to do everything I can to make sure this little boy is born healthy and happy. I have been through withdrawal of opiates and I would NEVER wish that on anyone...


anyways any support I can get will be appreciated.

I am going to do this the right way...I am going to fix this. I already feel totally guilty for the possible damage I have already done... I had a total melt down in the clinic this morning but I am so glad my doctor is aware of everything.

Sigh..

Any time frame on Sub withdrawal? I have read a lot but the stories just create anxiety....

purechaos

PS. so far baby is perfect and healthy... mama is anxiety ridden and dependent on meds

cleaninalabama

Purechaos-

I wish you the best of luck. Since you are pregnant it is very important that you follow your doctor's advice very carefully. Going through withdrawal while you are pregnant can be very dangerous for the baby. I know you want to go cold turkey and be done with this immediately but that might not be the safest decision. Talk to a doctor.

purechaos

Yeah I know.. I was in her office less then 3 hours ago... She doesnt know a ton about the med and is not licensed to dispence it but but she is consulting with people who do know...I will do this their way... But it needs to get done. I almost wish they would just inpatient me for a week... Keep everything monitored and get it all out of my system.

SprungPoppy

I quit subs 23 days ago. I'm not pregnant tho, I am male...I jumped off at 8 mg and never looked back..the physical w/d for me was at its worst day 4-10. Still dealing with lack of energy but I feel well on my way. I did all that without missing a day of work so the dread your feeling is for sure worse than the reality will be!! Good luck on a big strong healthy baby!!

purechaos

Thank you sprungpoppy for the reply.. I know from past experience that my pre existing anxiety of the upcoming withdrawal makes things miserable. I went through a terrible cold turkey w/d of percs/tramadol last summer and I literally thought I was going to die. Just the knowledge now that things CAN be that horrible freaks me out... I actually think the anxiety of it brings on the symptoms faster and harder. I know this needs to be done.. I knew it before but I was scared... Its one thing to damage myself but my innocent child has no choice in this and its simply not fair to continue this path... I guess I should mention though that the doctors are still saying that babies born to subs moms are usually fine...I just am not willing to chance it. I am hoping that this is enough time... Baby still is about 17 weeks out... 17 weeks clean should prevent any withdrawals I would hope.. I guess I dont really know... Urg.. Thanks anyways for your experience! Way to go with 23 days!

Dee74

I have no experience to share but you & bub have my very best wishes purechaos

D

cleaninLI

Purechaos just want to send you up some prayers for a safe delivery and a healthy baby. Please be sure to monitor your blood pressure as it was an issue for me. My bp spiked during the WD and I was going into seizures. My baby was delivered via emergency c-section at 23 weeks premature. She now has retinopathy of prematurity....no vision in one eye very little in the other eye. Otherwise a healthy, intelligent child. I question your doctor not closely monitoring you. I was lucky to have been in the hospital when all this occurred. If I hadn't been my baby and I would probably have died. Not trying to frighten you....only giving you the facts. Please call up your doctor and tell him my story. I was healthy at the time...no other complications....only withdrawal while pregnant.

purechaos

Cleaninll can I ask what you were on and how much. .. I know the klonidine also is a bp med so maybe that will help. .. I am literally 2 blocks away from the hospital and I will not hesitate to go to the er or maternity ward if anything feels off. .. my ob talked to some docs with more experience. . They said if I cut myself from 24 mg to 2mg and I am not crawling out of my skin there is a good chance this may be mild and uneventful. .. Thank you for your story. .I am sorry to hear about your little one and the premature labor and issues. .. you said you were monitored. .. did you w/d by your choice or your doctor's?

cleaninLI

Hi, that's good to know you are near a hospital. I was on Percocet. I had been taking them all thru my pregnancy I wasn't keeping up on the mg. but probably 5 10mgs per day. Not a huge dose.

I was at the hospital getting an ultrasound at the time. No one knew but me, not my doctors not my husband. It was my dirty big secret! They had kept me there because my baby's heartbeat was off. So I was hooked up to a fetal monitoring system. I didn't get the chance to take pills...so I was going further into WD. The longer they kept me monitored the worse I got as far as withdrawal. I was afraid and embarrassed to tell my doctor. Another big mistake! Then suddenly I went into seizures and they ran me into the OR and put me to sleep. They called my husband to let him know they lost the baby and would have to remove her in order for me to live, because there was no heartbeat. They removed her via c-section and put her on a ventilator. I was unconscious at the time. When I awoke my husband was there and told me what was happening. They put me on morphine drip because of the c-section. So that probably stopped my WD. Later they told us our baby was at the children's hospital in the NICU and that she was being kept alive on a vent. They gave her about a 5% prognoses that she would live thru the next 24 to 48 hours. She did. As time went on the chances of her survival increased by the hour. She held on and stayed alive.

She went thru quite a bit the next 3 months in the NICU. It was the worst most stressful time for me. I was filled with guilt and remorse for what I did. I still feel guilty to this day that I put my precious daughter thru all that because of my stupid addiction. I do not like to tell this story on the forum....because of my guilt! I'm only telling you because I care....if it can prevent another little baby from going thru what mine did then its worth it. Kudos to you for being honest with your doctor.

Finally after 3 months in the NICU fighting for her life she came home on a heart monitor and oxygen. She developed retinopathy of prematurity due to the oxygen that was given to her that saved her life! She weighted a mere 1 lb 3 oz at birth. Now, she is a happy...healthy 9 year old....with a very high IQ (only know that because she was tested for her disability)
But she will forever be blind in one eye and severely near-sighted in the other. This all could have been prevented if I had gotten help for my addiction and been honest with my doctor.

purechaos

Wow intense. I appreciate the story and it helps a lot. I know how in this situation guilt can eat you alive. .. I am there. ... my doctor told me yesterday she was so proud of me and what I am doing. .. my mom and husband are supportive. I went through perc wd bad last summer ... I cannot imagine doing that while pg. Thanks again and I am so happy to hear your daughter is smart and happy. How are you doing these days?

cleaninLI

You're welcome I'm glad it helps. Congrats btw for remaining strong and doing this. That's great that you are giving your baby a healthy start. So very important! I'm glad you have so much support around you too. That will take you far. I'm in recovery, been off of pain pills since February 2013. This was a relapse btw. Shortly after my baby was born I joined an IOP....that didn't go over too well.....but my counselor's phone call to ACS forced me into another IOP...women only....for mothers in similar situations as you and me. That did the trick and was in recovery for about 5 years until this last relapse.

I truly believe I'm done now! I'm tired and am positive another relapse would be the end for me....so I'm not going there.

Sending you lots of prayers and positive vibes your way.

purechaos

So lets see here... its been maybe 30 hours since my last dose of subutex (2mg sublingually) today I feel gross... Yucky tummy and frequent bathroom trips(which I know is the withdrawal) and lots of dizzyness and lightheadedness (pretty sure its a side effect of the Klonadine.-It is one of the major listed in the info.)

No restless legs, no shaking,very minimal sneezing, no excessive yawning, and last night I slept well (but I do take Ambien so that probably is not a good indication.)

Baby is moving as usual which is a good thing but it makes my tummy aches less enjoyable. Thinking I may have my husband pick up some immodium for me.

Hopefully things get better instead of worse... I know I have read sub w/ds can take longer to kick in...

cleaninLI

Hang in there...you're doing great! Do you have one of this blood pressure machines you can use at home? If you're in the states lots of pharmacies have them to use for free. Please continue to monitor your bp....because there really aren't too many symptoms of high bp....I can kind of tell now....but if you've never had it you might not know.

Please heed my warning! Otherwise you are doing great! Keep posting updates ok, I'm thinking about you!

Oh, one more thing. You're right about the sub....it takes longer to get into withdrawal....it supposedly lasts longer but less intensity....so that is a good thing. Sorry I'm so fixated on your bp.....just went thru a bad experience.....so never mind me ok! You are doing a wonderful thing for your baby!

SprungPoppy

Hang in there..days 3 or 4-8 or 9 were the worst days but I survived and so will you. I wasn't pregnant but had no issues with my bp throughout. Give it another week and you'll feel a lot better!!!!

purechaos

Actually having the opposite issues, every time I move my world goes black and dizzy.... it last for like 30-45 seconds... I called the hospital and the on call OBGYN said the Clonadine is making my blood pressure too low (its actually a med used to reduce bp so go figure) and I need to stop taking it ( I checked it and it was 76/57 ) Said it won't go back up till the meds are out of my system (maybe 24hrs?) said to drink fluids and keep my feet up... wow thanks for the great medical advice... Oh and it my symtoms get worse go to the ER...where they will do...dun dun dun.... NOTHING (well maybe an IV with some fluids and a bunch of dirty looks from every staff member as they see I am pregnant and was on drugs...sounds fun..not) My husband has to work shortly and that would put me home with my twin almost 3 yr olds alone... I didnt feel comfortable with that just in case something happens (like I pass out when I stand up :P JK... kinda) so my lovely mama is going to come hang out with my kiddos for a few hours so I can rest... I feel like hell right now because of the dizzyness... Took some imodium but my tummy is still not happy (I know that may take a few days to normalize) Hoping I can sleep this clonadine med out of my system and feel functional tomorrow... Right now any amount of movement is exhausting. Thanks for the posts and the support.

cleaninLI

Oh that's too bad that you are feeling dizzy and weak. Hopefully that clonidine will pass quickly. I'm sorry about your discomfort....glad you checked your bp. It's not good to have too low pressure either is it? Is that safe for baby? I guess it's ok or they would have told you to come in to get checked out. I'm glad your mom is coming over to help you with your twins. It must be very hard to keep up with the little ones.

Thanks for letting us know how you're doing! More prayers being sent that you start feeling better and everything goes well for you. Nevermind what people think, they don't know your story, you are an awesome mom for doing this for your baby!

purechaos

Thought I should check in. .. been eh. .. 50 hrs or so since my last dose. .. I was able to sleep last night but had to take an extra ambien (which will suck at the end of the month) today I am not as dizzy but I still feel "fuzzy" and "off" I haven't had many tummy issues today but I have been taking the immodium... speaking of immodium I found some crazy forum this morning that said you can take ridiculous amounts of it to get rid of wd symptoms. ... like 25pills at a time. . Err no thanks. ... anyways I am feeling pretty anxious now and I wish I had a valium or something lol... I have to be "on" later since we are celebrating my dad's birthday. ... tomorrow I need to be fully functional. ... at least my ob is back in the office tomorrow so I can talk to her if need be. ... hope you are all having a good day.

cleaninLI

Alright, thanks for the update! Glad you aren't so dizzy today and no tummy issues. You have no idea how lucky you are to be able to sleep. That was always one of the biggest issues with me and WD. It's too bad you are having some anxiety, though.

Keep going...overall you are doing good! You can do this!

cleaninalabama

Clean-

What a touching story. I hope that people will read your post and realize how important it is to be truthful and honest with their doctor no matter how unpleasant it might be. I am so glad that your daughter came through like she did. That must have been terrifying