ksj

Here is my story in a nutshell: I grew up in a broken home, my dad was an alcoholic and my mom was..well, difficult to deal with (possibly bi-polar). I grew up with extremely low self esteem, and never had any real close friends, maybe because I was intimidated, maybe because we moved so much, regardless of why, I was alone. By the time that I was in 7th grade we had moved about 6 times in four years, and this time I was determined to have friends and be noticed. This was also the year that Ifound out that my dad had cancer. Lets just say by the time that I was in 9th grade I had tried all the drugs that had been put in front of me and slept with numerous guys that were a few years older then me. Some of these sexual encounters I would qualify as rape now that I know that they should have stopped when I was saying no.
In January of 200, when I was 15, my dad passed away. It just so happens that the day after my dad died I discovered meth. From that day forward I was high. I was not just high, I was consumed. My whole life revolved around it. I lost weight, people told me I looked good (at first), I had confidence, and I didn't have to feel any pain. There was no way that anyone was going to convince me that this was a bad drug.
Lets skip ahead... I was living with drug dealers that had tons of money and an endless supply, I was shooting up, and not going to school. Eventually I went to a ton of treatments over a span of 9 months,(my mom made me go) and eventually was told that I was ruining other peoples chance of getting sober. When I was 18 I got pregnant, and by the time that I was 20 I had two babies. That didn't stop me though. I had my babies taken away, got my apartment raided, and lost everthing. I ended up living in the cities and selling drugs. At this point in my life, all I wanted to do was die. I didn't want to kill myself, but I hated myself, and I would wake up in the morning and stick a needle in my arm just to stop myself from crying.
Here is the turning point in my life: Here I was running around with the big boys, making lots of money, with more drugs then I could handle, and I end up getting arrested with a 200 dollar warrant. Not one person bailed me out. All of the drug dealers that I associated with, and all of the people that were always getting stuff for free from me, pretty much left me there over 200 dollars.
I got out of jail and went to treatment for three months. I started talking to my ex boyfriend, who had gotten sober a few months before, and really concentrated on my kids. I was done.
By the grace of God, I now have my kids back, and they are in school, sports and we do things like a normal family. I am in my third year of college, and am going to school to be an alcohol and drug counselor. Surprisingly enough, I am also a 4.0 student. I get straight A's and actually really like learning. I think that getting out of a life of drugs is the hardest thing that anyone can do, and I want to be there for others when they think they just can't do it. No matter what cirumstances that someone might be in, I truly have faith that there is always a way to fix it. Thanks for listening. xoxo

p.s. I will have three years of sobriety in february. Just thought that was important to know.