Rocker1969 - My Story
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chilly Tundra
Posts: 3
Rocker1969 - My Story
I had reached the end of the road...
I used alcohol and other drugs in one form or another for nearly 25 years before deciding to get clean. I am an artist and musician, so it seemed to come with the territory.
I was the king of the "**** its." I went through some really rough times, and I was at the point that I was going to succumb to my addiction, and die a true rockers death. I didn't care anymore. It was 2001, and the World Trade Center had just crumbled. I was hopelessly addicted to drugs and alcohol at this time. 2001 was the year my wife (after being seperated for 5 years) divorced me. My girlfriend at the time, left me. The van was stolen while we were on tour in New York, and when I returned home, somebody immediately broke into my house and stole everything else that I had. My motorcycle got stolen, then the band broke up, and I lost my day job. It was a really rough time, and I was trying to kill myself with drugs. I didn't want to feel anymore, and I just didn't care. The world had forgotten about me, and I was ready to forget the world.
I went to outpatient treatment, and stayed clean for a week on my own. That was a start. I did outpatient treatment again, and stayed clean for two weeks. A little better, but between treatments I was back at it. I was now homeless, and I sold my car to buy drugs, so I was couch surfing and making bad relationship decisions. It was time for Inpatient treatment. 28 days later, I'm feeling great, the band puts out a new record, we play a few shows, and I stay sober for 59 days. The day I was planning on going to a meeting and getting my 60 day chip, I get loaded on Margaritas. My "friends" helped me to get drunk. Regardless, I was having new thoughts in my mind, ideas about my life and sobriety, and a toolbox that was growing with skills to say sober. That never left me.
I went back out and started using again for a few more years, it got progressively worse, and I shouldn't be alive right now. I did some terrible things. I sold my new car for drugs, I lost my job, and my life had become unmanageable.
I left the people places and things I associated with, I surrendered to my addiction, and I gave up. I would try ANYTHING to stay clean. After trying treatment centers numerous times, I knew what i had to do. It was what they were telling me to do all along, Narcotics Anonymous.. IT WORKS! I went to a meeting every day for four months, then I backed down to once a week for a while, then later returned to meetings every day, if I needed it. The rooms were there for me. I had found a new way to live. Today, I have a new way of life. I have new friends and associations I have made through the group. I only hang out with people that support my recovery. I bring addict friends out of the city, and help them to get clean, if they want help.
I'm helping to open a business that hires ONLY people in recovery. I can't do this alone, and I want to help other people achieve their dreams, as I have mine. Life is different now. I'm still early in my recovery and I'm sure I'll face a few bumps along the way. After using for 25 years, I'm learning who I am all over again. I've realized I have a new life to live, love to share with my son and my family, and love for my fellow addicts.
Just For Today, Give Yourself A Break!
-18 months clean
I used alcohol and other drugs in one form or another for nearly 25 years before deciding to get clean. I am an artist and musician, so it seemed to come with the territory.
I was the king of the "**** its." I went through some really rough times, and I was at the point that I was going to succumb to my addiction, and die a true rockers death. I didn't care anymore. It was 2001, and the World Trade Center had just crumbled. I was hopelessly addicted to drugs and alcohol at this time. 2001 was the year my wife (after being seperated for 5 years) divorced me. My girlfriend at the time, left me. The van was stolen while we were on tour in New York, and when I returned home, somebody immediately broke into my house and stole everything else that I had. My motorcycle got stolen, then the band broke up, and I lost my day job. It was a really rough time, and I was trying to kill myself with drugs. I didn't want to feel anymore, and I just didn't care. The world had forgotten about me, and I was ready to forget the world.
I went to outpatient treatment, and stayed clean for a week on my own. That was a start. I did outpatient treatment again, and stayed clean for two weeks. A little better, but between treatments I was back at it. I was now homeless, and I sold my car to buy drugs, so I was couch surfing and making bad relationship decisions. It was time for Inpatient treatment. 28 days later, I'm feeling great, the band puts out a new record, we play a few shows, and I stay sober for 59 days. The day I was planning on going to a meeting and getting my 60 day chip, I get loaded on Margaritas. My "friends" helped me to get drunk. Regardless, I was having new thoughts in my mind, ideas about my life and sobriety, and a toolbox that was growing with skills to say sober. That never left me.
I went back out and started using again for a few more years, it got progressively worse, and I shouldn't be alive right now. I did some terrible things. I sold my new car for drugs, I lost my job, and my life had become unmanageable.
I left the people places and things I associated with, I surrendered to my addiction, and I gave up. I would try ANYTHING to stay clean. After trying treatment centers numerous times, I knew what i had to do. It was what they were telling me to do all along, Narcotics Anonymous.. IT WORKS! I went to a meeting every day for four months, then I backed down to once a week for a while, then later returned to meetings every day, if I needed it. The rooms were there for me. I had found a new way to live. Today, I have a new way of life. I have new friends and associations I have made through the group. I only hang out with people that support my recovery. I bring addict friends out of the city, and help them to get clean, if they want help.
I'm helping to open a business that hires ONLY people in recovery. I can't do this alone, and I want to help other people achieve their dreams, as I have mine. Life is different now. I'm still early in my recovery and I'm sure I'll face a few bumps along the way. After using for 25 years, I'm learning who I am all over again. I've realized I have a new life to live, love to share with my son and my family, and love for my fellow addicts.
Just For Today, Give Yourself A Break!
-18 months clean
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