Decision Made
Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Decision Made
We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Done. I have definitely made my decision to turn my will and life over to the *care* of God as I understand him. I have let go of so many of my old ways of thinking. I know my way doesn't work. (Step 1-We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.) I know that there is something bigger than me out there as evidenced by what I have survived and what I have been blessed with. (Step 2-Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.)
And in working step 1 and step 2, I am fortunate that step 3 has come easy to me. I also recognize that is a decision I have struggled with for a long time. It is a relief now to turn my life and my will over to the *care* of God. I am in God's hands now. What a huge relief.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do I feel about turning my life over to a Higher Power for guidance?
It is an amazing, peaceful, and intuitive feeling at this point in my life. Before coming to this point in my life I was doing too much. With friends, family, boyfriends, school, work, gym, etc, I was doing way more than I needed to be doing to be okay. All I have to do now is trust in a higher power and feel the presence of a power greater than myself and the rest falls into place.
How do I know who or what my Higher Power is?
I can start with what I know my HP is not. It is not me, it is not my friends, it is not my family, it is not the accomplishments I make, it is not the tasks I do to be worthy of love and recognition, it is not my sheer will and "best thinking," and it is certainly not alcohol or drugs.
It is an ever present, calm benevolence. I can turn to it anytime. I can let go of my fears, anxiety, sadness, and anger. I can just know that everything is going to work out for the best. Every thing is fine because I am on the right path and I no longer have to do so much to feel loved.
Am I willing to try to turn my problems over? What could help me to be willing?
Absolutely. I already have. What's more is I have faith in this HP that everything is going to be just fine. I am on the right path and all I have to do is walk it and trust in a power greater than me.
How can I stop thinking, trying and considering, and actually make a decision?
By acknowledging the miracles that have already taken place in my life. Given where I come from, I can only conclude that a HP has always been by my side to get me to where I am now. Single, childfree, educated, loved, intelligent, beautiful, witty, spiritual, and at peace. Surrounded by loving friends, Al-Anon, SR, and co-workers. I am totally cool with making the choice to turn my will and life over because...if I was already to blessed before even acknowledging the HP in my life...then imagine the miracles that will unfold *after* turning my will and life over to a HP??
Have I had a problem making decisions in my life? Give examples.
Absolutely. One decision that comes to mind is my choice to go into Nursing School. I was discouraged by a lot of people even though I knew in my heart I really wanted to take care of people and be a nurse. I was told to go into hospital administration, to be a physician assistant. I listened to everyone but my HP. I wanted to be a prize child and to make everyone happy so it took me a long time to begin the process. And I also felt like I had to justify my decision and fight for my choice.
More to come.
Love and Light,
Lily
Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Thank you for your encouragement and support Chrisy. I will continue to share. It has been extremely helpful writing and reading about the steps here. This is a wonderful site.
Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Turning My Life Over into the Care of a HP
Today, I was reminded that turning my will and life over into the care of a HP does not mean that all I have to do is pray and reach out to my HP. I also have to use the tools that my HP has given me to cope with life. This includes F2F meetings, reading daily books, the Forum, using my Al-Anon phone list, working the steps, seeing my counselor, and various other healthy and spiritual tools that I used to take care of myself.
Turning my will and life over into the *care* of a HP involves learning and using tools that will bring me greater clarity and peace than my "old bag of tricks," or "my best thinking."
As I transition into step 4, which will be very difficult for me and I will address that when I start working that step, I need to keep in mind that I have a lot of support and having a HP is all about using the tools that bring me closer to understanding and feeling the presence of this HP.
Love and Light,
Lily
Turning my will and life over into the *care* of a HP involves learning and using tools that will bring me greater clarity and peace than my "old bag of tricks," or "my best thinking."
As I transition into step 4, which will be very difficult for me and I will address that when I start working that step, I need to keep in mind that I have a lot of support and having a HP is all about using the tools that bring me closer to understanding and feeling the presence of this HP.
Love and Light,
Lily
How do I know who or what my Higher Power is?
I can start with what I know my HP is not. It is not me, it is not my friends, it is not my family, it is not the accomplishments I make, it is not the tasks I do to be worthy of love and recognition, it is not my sheer will and "best thinking," and it is certainly not alcohol or drugs.
It is an ever present, calm benevolence. I can turn to it anytime. I can let go of my fears, anxiety, sadness, and anger. I can just know that everything is going to work out for the best. Every thing is fine because I am on the right path and I no longer have to do so much to feel loved.
I can start with what I know my HP is not. It is not me, it is not my friends, it is not my family, it is not the accomplishments I make, it is not the tasks I do to be worthy of love and recognition, it is not my sheer will and "best thinking," and it is certainly not alcohol or drugs.
It is an ever present, calm benevolence. I can turn to it anytime. I can let go of my fears, anxiety, sadness, and anger. I can just know that everything is going to work out for the best. Every thing is fine because I am on the right path and I no longer have to do so much to feel loved.
My dad still doesn't understand how someone who no longer is a practicing Catholic can have God in her life, but I make no apologies. The God of my understanding has given me over two beautiful decades in recovery.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)