Big Book Step Study - Step 4 Turnarounds
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Fact Finding Fact Facing Process
the fourth column is the key to future steps 5,6,7,9,10,11 Selfish dishonest self seeking afraid are the exact nature of our wrongs character defects and shortcomings but please only what is in black Selfish what do I need or want Dishonest how did I justify being angry what lie did I tell myself reaffirm verbally the truth Self Seeking the action take by the resentment did I argue or confront you stuff feelings and put you down in front of others and finally afraid then FEAR LIST simply fears we have no resentments in connection with ask ourselves y we had them answer wasn't it because self reliance failed us not the extra questions these guys are adding to this part then sex nothing about the act but our conduct and behavior in each relationship answer the 10 questions four of which are yes and no STEP 5 we go deep who what where when how why this is we spend hours with our sponsor and god laugh cry joke and confess everything
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Originally Posted by Friend Of Bill 
STEP 5 we go deep who what where when how why this is we spend hours with our sponsor and god laugh cry joke and confess everything
I have a question about Step 5. I was taught you just read your Step 4, no discussion. I was curious about the above quote. I'm always interested in hearing the different ways people go through the steps.
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Originally Posted by Gottalife
Turn around is not an expression I am familiar with. As I look back I see my fourth, taken with the help of my sponsor, was more like the "Back to Basics" model in use in the forties.
It involved a lot of explanation and discussion with my sponsor but at the end of four hours we had a simple but, as it turns out, adequate inventory which was surprisingly accurate. It achieved the desired outcomes expressed in the big book, I.e causes and conditions, putting my finger on my grosser handicaps, swallowing some large chunks of truth about my self. The fifth I took the next day.
I don't suppose there is any right or wrong way to tackle the fourth, but it did not seem to be a lengthy business in the early days. My take on that is that in the process of taking our fourth we are actually learning a principle which we will go on to practice regularly in every aspect of our lives. We have to start somewhere, and anything we miss we will be brought back to. Thee principle of step four is also found in steps 10 and 11 as part of our new way of life and we need to be living that new way of life as soon as possible. I don't think it is productive to get too bogged down on step four.
It involved a lot of explanation and discussion with my sponsor but at the end of four hours we had a simple but, as it turns out, adequate inventory which was surprisingly accurate. It achieved the desired outcomes expressed in the big book, I.e causes and conditions, putting my finger on my grosser handicaps, swallowing some large chunks of truth about my self. The fifth I took the next day.
I don't suppose there is any right or wrong way to tackle the fourth, but it did not seem to be a lengthy business in the early days. My take on that is that in the process of taking our fourth we are actually learning a principle which we will go on to practice regularly in every aspect of our lives. We have to start somewhere, and anything we miss we will be brought back to. Thee principle of step four is also found in steps 10 and 11 as part of our new way of life and we need to be living that new way of life as soon as possible. I don't think it is productive to get too bogged down on step four.
My 4th step was extremely long and took a long time. I would've seen my thinking and behavior pattern even if it was shorter.
I am curious what the explanation and discussion your program does with sponsees.
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Originally Posted by blueyedchippewa
I am grateful for this thread.
I am currently working the steps with a sponsor using the Big Book Step Study method. This is not my first 4th step as I am in year 14; however, it's my most thorough to date and the turnarounds are humbling...to really look at my part (selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, frightened) has required prayer before writing and a great amount of courage.
The items toughest for me have been the oldest resentments from birth to about age 18 and of course involve various forms of abuse. I just finished the resentments involving my parents.
Again, thanks for sharing your experience, strength and hope.
I am currently working the steps with a sponsor using the Big Book Step Study method. This is not my first 4th step as I am in year 14; however, it's my most thorough to date and the turnarounds are humbling...to really look at my part (selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, frightened) has required prayer before writing and a great amount of courage.
The items toughest for me have been the oldest resentments from birth to about age 18 and of course involve various forms of abuse. I just finished the resentments involving my parents.
Again, thanks for sharing your experience, strength and hope.
I just wanted to pass along some encouragement to keep going. It will free you in the end. Feel free to PM me if I can help share my experience, strength or hope with you. What helped me most, was to bring God into my writing with me.
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Originally Posted by Friend Of Bill
It's important not to fall into the fourth step trap. We are told to say the third step prayer before writing be sure not to drift into remembering and daydreaming about each resentment. Simply put it on paper AND GO ONTO THE NEXT which ever part you are on. remember we are without defense against that first drink until we face and get rid of self. Step 5 is where we feel and go deep. and don't get caught up in the time aspect some of you take 1 2 3 years writing how many hours did you put into it if you put the seat of your pants to the seat of your chair and the pencil to the paper we are delighted.
What does this mean? I'm beginning to wonder if I did my Step 5 incorrectly. I was told to just read.
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It's simple door 470 some odd ways to do step 4 there is one way in alcoholics Anonymous between pages 64 and 69 the fourth column where have you been selfish dishonest self-seeking and afraid is as simple as this where have I been selfish what did I want or not want..... Where have I been dishonest dishonesty is how we justify being angry the lie we believe or tell ourselves..... Self-seeking is we either confront or argue, stuff the feelings, or put down in front of others to make ourselves look good..... And what are we afraid of usually comes down to other people's opinions not being good enough not being loved X cetera. Example I am resentful at my boss.. The cause he was abusive...... the cause must be 8 words or less....... skipping the effects where was I selfish I didn't want him to be abusive.... Now the dishonesty how did I justify being angry what lie did I believe simply the dishonesty is usually in direct proportion to the selfishness or the cause what do I mean.... Where was I dishonestI was never abusive... It's that simple how we justify being mad we tell ourselves I never did that the truth is so I did........... where am I self seeking I either put him down in front of others I confronted him or I just stop the feelings one or all three the action taken against the resentment I'm mad at you I get angry I become selfish I don't want you to do this I lie to myself I never did this the action I take I can French you or put you down and it's all because of what fear I use voice text I wish I could type this out and make it look right if you private message me maybe I can I don't know how to take a picture of my fourth step and send it to you but it's usually easy what I want or not want that is the spiritual definition of selfish how I justify being angry I'm resentful at he lied I didn't want him to lie I never lied I put him down afraid of other people's opinions I am resentful at Mom she wouldn't buy me new clothes I wanted new clothes I was nice to everybody I stuffed the feelings I was afraid of not being loved now there are resentments that I am NOT a victim I was picked up drugged and raped by a man when I was 22 how do I do a turn around I'm resentful at the male nurse he raped me where am i selfish I didn't want to be raped how did I justify being angry what lie did I believe where am i dishonest I never hurt anyone self-seeking I stuffed the feelings fear I'm afraid of what others would think if they found out I was raped through this process and then the sex inventory all 10 questions I learn the God forgives me I forgive me and I can forgive others I hope this helps a little
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