Alisha2928

Hi,
So I have a little over 3 years clean. My previous sponsor ended up going out so I was sponsor less for almost a year. Luckily I didn't go out. I have been working my steps again with a close friend and I am currently on step 3 in the workbook. I find myself having a real tough time answering the questions. I don't know if I am answering them wrong. I feel stupid because maybe my answers should be deeper than what I am writing but my brain just wont work. Is there a wrong way to do the steps? Cause I feel like whatever I am doing is not enough.

fini

hi Alisha,
i think you can only do what is honest and thorough at this point in time. it sounds like you have taken the steps before? how and why would your “answer” be different now? and i do not know about workbooks, as i took them the way they are laid out in the big book.
personally, i do not think it is lucky you did not go out when you were without a sponsor, as i do not believe that a sponsor is what it takes to stay sober.
are you having trouble with your sobriety or with answering questions in a workbook? sorry if this is too many questions, but i am not clear where you are experiencing difficulties.

Gottalife

Hi Alisha. I'm about 3 minutes clean, I just got out of the shower, but I have been sober in AA for many years, the only workbook necessary being the basic text Alcoholics Anonymous. Maybe you are talking about an NA book. I wouldn't know how that works.

I am just going to share something that happened in my recovery, which was a practice suggested by Clarence S, founder of the very successful Cleveland Group. Roughly "You do steps one to nine once and never go back there. These steps deal with the past. You live in steps 10-12. You only go back to the earlier steps when teaching them to a newcomer."

It is well established fact that the most reliable way to stay sober in AA is to work with others. as a result of which I find myself redoing the steps on a regular basis as I work through them with a newcomer. Newcomers teach me so much that I would never learn if just redoing steps myself in isolation. The whole purpose is to "pass it on". That is where the real magic is.

As a wise person once said the best way to learn something is to try and teach it to someone else.

tomsteve

AA is a simple program for complicated thinkers. i am very greatful i didnt have the net and my HG didnt have any workbooks when i got into aa. it helped me keep it simple.
the 3rd step is
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
i turned over my will(thoughts) and life(actions) and continued onto step 4.
dr bob said something very important in his farewell letter:
There are two or three things that flashed into my mind on which it would be fitting to lay a little emphasis. One is the simplicity of our program. Let's not louse it all up with Freudian complexes and things that are interesting to the scientific mind, but have very little to do with our actual AA work. Our Twelve Steps, when simmered down to the last, resolve themselves into the words 'love' and 'service.'

something on this:
My previous sponsor ended up going out so I was sponsor less for almost a year. Luckily I didn't go out.
i hope you didnt make your sponsor your HP. THE program doesnt do that. THE program says:
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.

Alisha2928

So thank you all for responding to by post. I am so embarrassed by my post. But thanks for your answers. Everyone else please disregard this post by me. Thanks

fini

oh Alisha, nobody meant to embarrass you!
i am glad you felt free to share and know that it takes courage. i am so sorry you are now feeling badly about it.

Dee74

I didn't find your post embarrassing at all
You're doing exactly what the forum is all about

I'm not in AA but in any exercise like that I don't think there are any wrong answers?

Be honest. Be yourself !
D

Gottalife

Your first post was fine Alisha. Nothing to be embarassed about. This is a really good point you made at the end. It got me thinking about one of the frustrations of my early recovery which was about getting the feeling of being connected to and relating with the rest of the fellowship in terms of the things they talked about. They used to rant on about "acceptance" and "turning it over" and how that fixed everything. I didn't get it in the intellectual sense - what were they talking about? I still don't know. I think a good many of them were away with the fairies.

Trying to get right "feelings" from listening to and understanding others as part of a package of "self focused" measures did not seem to change how I felt.

Fortunately for me I had a sponsor who knew that action, getting out of self and working with others in whatever way opportunities presented themselves , was the key to how I would feel about myself. Having done my best to clean up my own mess, the way forward was much more about others than it was about self.

tomsteve

[QUOTE=Alisha2928;7198630]So thank you all for responding to by post. I am so embarrassed by my post. But thanks for your answers. Everyone else please disregard this .

dont be embarrassed. how can we learn if we dont ask questions?

i wasnt the best at keepin it simple for some time. i was askin a million questions that were very deep and complicating EVERYTHING. after all this program was going to give me life- it HADto be more complicated than what it seemed
. i now know why my current sponser, when complicating it, sat there smilin while i was talkin then would say," its a simple program."
used to bugger me up when he did that HOWEVER i was already showing progress:
i flipped him off BEHIND his back.
eventually i "got it."
i can still try and complicate MANY things from time to time. his words usually come to mind real quick when i do that.

Alisha2928

I appreciate all your words. Thank you so much. You are 100% right it is a simple program.