barb dwyer

thank YOU ... for reminding me to embrace,
rather than demean, judge, and diminish
what I am.

jaitch

Ive had this dilemma, it doesnt stop one practising steps nowhere in the steps does it say We admitted we are alcoholics.

Paulos

Do not feel alone spryte, as I as well have problems with admitting I'm an ALCOHOLIC completely, like it's a label... that is another reason AA did not work with me. To me, it's not a disease, but to each their own. I wish you the best.

StayingAlive

Hi Spryte,

I have a little bit different of an opinion. I'm sure people may disagree with me. I never went the AA route and never really gave any thought to the word "alcoholic" when I was taking it one day at a time although I now us it to describe myself. I drank from age 16-24. From 18-24 I drank very heavily (alone and with others), everyday, and there was drug use. It got worse and worse and totally out of control. I knew there was a problem and eventually had to do something about it. I tried quitting several times and finally did 9 years and 5 months ago. I still know I'm one drink away from disaster and sometimes it's still one day at a time.

My point is, it's the data that counts. You will know in your heart if it's a problem. My favorite saying for staying sober is "It's not how you play the game, it's whether you win or lose that counts". Not taking a drink is winning, so if you have to call yourself a giraffe to not drink, do it, if you don't need a special name and can stay stopped, do it. You're fighting against yourself and you need to find a strategy to defeat your own worst enemy, one that knows everything about you.

Congrats on the 24 days and if AA works for you, by all means KEEP IT UP, you're doing GREAT so far!

climber6482

Hi, we all have been there ! My mom was a real bad alcholic and when i started to have problems i never wanted to say i was even close to one. now I am glad i do. keep comming to the meetings, give time time, keep it simple.

johnmc

Hi Spryte,

First off , well done buddy, it is better to say what you think than to endlessly spout off that you are an alcoholic yet not beleive it. You spoke about your problem beng a personality disorder of a type, guess what buddy, thats what being an alcoholic is. You opening post described an alcoholic pretty well.

the problem here is you and many others are confusing what an alcoholic is with the symptoms of alcoholism.

Before we can even look at the steps we have to be fully committed, fully conceded, in no doubt as to whether we are alcoholics or not.

so what makes us alcoholic?

Is it the amount we drinks? NO.
Is it where we drink, what we drink, how we drink? NO
Is it what happens when we drink? YES

Not the crazy things we do but the change in our personality when we drink.

Let me put it this way, my wife aint an alcoholic, if she does not like you and takes a drink she still does not like you, if i dont like you and take a drink i want to marry you after. I have an entire personality change sufficient to make life acceptable.

I may be neurotic, anxious and introverted but give me a drink and bingo , aint anymore. Before i drink life is unacceptable and then i drink and life is acceptable. I sober up and its even worse, plus the things i did whilst on that last bender make it even harder to cope with.
I want to escape reality and obsess about that wonderful place called oblivin where everyone likes me and i like everyone. Sober i blame you and your hypocritcal world for my problems but drunk you aint that bad.....

This huge personality displacement DOES NOT happen with the non alcoholic, ask some normal drinkers what affect they get.....do please......for alcoholics alcohol really really works.....

but then we cross the invisible line into alcoholic drinking, the illness progresses and then when we drink we can not control the amount we drink and when we want to stop we can not......(allergy/obsession) we can not stop because of the obsession to escape reality, escape from the feelings of anxiety and depression which are now worse than before and we take a drink to get back to oblivian....the first drink triggers an allergy (abnormal reaction, and boy is it) that makes me crave anotherdrink and another and another. ever wondered why we got thirster the more we drnk???

but now its stopped working , we drink and we still feel as we did before we drank....we are still axious and depressed but have no control over how much we drink.....that my friend is alcoholism, can not control the amount we drink and can not stop for good ...whereas what makes me an alcoholic is the affect alcohol used to have upon me that normal drinkers did not experience....it used to turn me from timid, scared john to john wayne and unless i treat my illness it will turn me into john doe.

Dont confuse what makes us alcoholic with the symptoms of alcoholism my friend. The first step in recovery is to fully concede to our inner most selves we are alcoholic, THE DELUSION WE ARE LIKE OTHER PEOPLE HAS TO BE SMASHED

Ask a few normal drinkers what happens to them when they drink, ask them what it does for them and see if the hat fits. For me they came up far short of what it did for me. The blessing is that the 12 steps WHEN WORKED PROPERLY give a buzz better than any drink or drug i ever had, and i had plenty, without all the consequenses that the masses seem to think is the reason they are alcoholic, it aint.

Hope some of what i wrote helped buddy, The Big Book, Read it, study it, work it, live it, love it, pass it.

best intentions

johnmc

johnmc

PS In answer to your question...can you get through the steps without admitting your an alcoholic.....not if you are an alcoholic..........

Spawn

So true

Spawn

I know I am an alcoholic because I can't predict what will happen if I take that first drink.
The word disease in the dictionary means an unhealthy condition of the mind or body.
The difference between an alcoholic drinker and a social drinker is that a social drinker stops when they feel the affects of the alcohol.

So ask yourself can you stop after just one?
Or does that inner voice say "just one more"

mellieJan2010

I am on day 9, I have been to many meetings in the last 9 days. Only introduced myself once (to get my 24 hour chip - yay!) but I could not say "Hi I'm mellie and I'm an alcoholic" I know I am, I think I will be brave enough to say it during my lunch meeting tomorrow

Spawn

I still have my 24 hour chip,........and I remember how cool I thought it was when it was given to me,........congrats on yours

Stereosteveo

Here's what the book says:
p.44
"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."

So if either of 2 conditions above are true you might be...
If your still not sure the book suggests trying some controlled drinking.

Moderate Drinker: Can take it or leave it.
Hard Drinker: May drink like an alcoholic, but can quit forever given good reason.
Real Alcoholic: Screwed beyond comprehension, totally powerless over picking up the next drink without a spiritual awakinging or spiritual experience.

I also like what a guy told me once: "People who aren't alcoholic probably don't wonder if they might be."

Disease: At "dis ease" with reality/life/etc..

I no longer have shame in being an alcoholic, now that I understand what it is. How I got it I don't care. Genetically not responsible for it. Why should I be ashamed of something truly beyond my control?

But thank God I finally found out what's been wrong with me.

CarolD

Hmm....
Casual drinkers don't concern themselves
with being powerless over alcohol.
because they are not.

I've never met anyone who said....
"My life is on track....I have no issues with alcohol
my confidence is stronhg.....God is with me....
my family loves me...job is secure....bills paid...

Gee! I think I will go to AA and work the Steps"

Ananda

I've seen a number of people who were young and got to partying with friends who began to wonder if they were alchoholic...they then moderated and ended up normal social drinkers.

however the only ones who went to AA in this class of drinkers were court ordered...and many of them appreciated the opportunity to look at themselves and make the determination that they were not alchoholic.

That said...I never moved out of the partying stage and was drinking alchoholicly from the first time I had access to alchohol...

For me the first step is all about really taking a close unbiased look at whether or not I am an alchoholic...looking at it without the preconcieved notions or others opinions...just honestly asking myself if what is described in the bigbook about mental obsession, blank spots, inability to stop, inability to stay stoped...were these true of my own expereince with alchohol.

ibsenplays

There is a difference between saying you are an alcoholic and qualifying for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous. It says (somewhere) "The only qualification for membership is a desire to stop drinking." It helps me - I know that I have this qualification for membership. I'm not sure it says anywhere that you need to say, "I'm an alcoholic." What I do know is that my pattern for drinking, my obsession is not likely to change. I share some similiarities with the people who tell their stories in the Big Book and at meetings, but not all.

I do know that there are people who can take alcohol or leave it. I'm not one of them. Drinking became very important to me and it made me very selfish. Do I have a disease? I don't know. Should I drink? Absolutely not. I pay a price every time I do. Enough is enough - for me.

DonaldS

"Alcoholic" isn't in the first step. It isn't in any of them.

I was in that debating society for a long time--am I an alcoholic or just a common sinner? Especially at step one, it really doesn't matter.

I am powerless over alcohol.

If I can admit that; I can take step one. If not, I'm bound to hop back in the ring again sooner or later for another round.

insamsworld

Alcohol is "cunning, baffling, and powerful". One of the things I learned about alcoholism is that it had me in its grip and it didnt want to let go of me. The more I thought about whether I was or wasnt, whether I should call my self an alcoholic or not, the more it faught to keep me in its grip. It wasnt until sometime, and I cant really tell you when, after I imersed myself in the Big Book, in the program, in the love of the people around these tables that it occured to me oneday that it had been sometime that I had even thought about alcohol, or whether or not I was or wasnt. I just knew that I had found something wonderful that had taken my mind off of drinking and I wanted to dearly belong to this group, this family. And one day without thinking about it, it just came out. And I seemed releived and proud that I could say, "my name is Sam and I am an acloholic." Posess but dont obsess.
And one last thing, it is King Alcohol that is keeping you from going to those meetings everynight.
May God bless you and give you the peace and serenity that you are looking for.
Sam B.