Questions for Inquiry of Wise Intention:

During your periods of addictive behavior, how did you act in ways that were clinging, uncaring, harsh, cruel, or unforgiving? Toward whom (including yourself) were these feelings directed? How might generosity, compassion, lovingkindness, and forgiveness have changed your behavior?

What actions have you taken that have harmed others?

Have you formed an intention to reconcile with both yourself and the person or people you’ve harmed (to make amends)? If so, have you found a wise friend or mentor you can go to for guidance and support in the amends process, which is summarized below? What support can this person provide as you begin the process of amends?

Making Amends:

● Have you done something intentionally that you now recognize caused harm to another? Who has been harmed by your actions?

● Have you honestly formed the intention not to repeat harmful actions and to learn from the experience in future interactions? Have you begun the process of directly addressing the harmful actions of your past?

● Making amends depends on the circumstance, including your present relationship to the person and the extent to which you can undo the harm caused through direct actions (like correcting a public dishonesty or compensating another for things you have taken that were not freely offered). Ask yourself, “What can I do in the present?”

● Can you address and reconcile with the harm you have caused without forming an attachment to being forgiven? Identify the motivation for making each amends.

● What actions would restore balance in your own feelings and approach to whatever harm you have caused? Can these steps be taken without causing new harm to the person or the relationship?

If you’re experiencing a difficult situation or choice in your life right now, investigate the intention you are bringing to this situation.

● Are you being selfish or self-seeking? How?

● Are you being driven by aversion (running away from an unpleasant experience) or craving (grasping for pleasure)? How?

● How could you bring in a spirit of generosity, compassion, lovingkindness, appreciative joy, and forgiveness to this situation?

● How would this situation look different if you brought these factors to mind before reacting or responding?

● If you don’t want to, can you at least have the intention and willingness to do so?

Wise Speech is based on the intention to do no harm. We’ve all used speech in a manner that may create harm: lying to keep others from knowing what’s really going on; gossiping with the intention of putting someone down or satisfying our desire to be recognized; ”stealing” time and attention by chattering on and on; or trying to convince others to meet our own needs at the expense of their own. Wise Speech includes all the ways we use our voices, including in writing and online.

The most basic foundation of Wise Speech is honesty or truthfulness. Dishonesty is not just outright lies; it can also take the form of exaggeration, minimizing, or omitting, all with the intention of presenting a false picture or distorting what something actually is. It can take the form of “white lies” to avoid embarrassment or exposure, half-truths to keep from being caught, or seemingly harmless things said at the expense of others.

We may say more than we really know to be true in the hopes of appearing smarter or more confident in our position or feeling. Sometimes we say something before we know the truth. Dishonesty has to do with our intention in speech–are we motivated by greed, fear, or confusion? Or are we motivated by a sincere desire to express what’s true, what’s useful, what’s kind, and what’s timely? Wise Speech means we speak with the intention of not causing harm, and of fostering safety and security in our community.

Wise Speech continued

Wise Speech also involves the tone we use when we talk. If we express ourselves in harsh, angry, or abusive ways, we may not be heard even if we’re being truthful. Speaking gently, with the intention of kindness, fosters a community of friendliness and safety.

It may sound like Wise Speech is primarily about discerning when not to speak, but this isn’t always the case. Many of us grew up in families where it wasn’t safe to talk openly about our thoughts and feelings. Some, because of certain experiences or cultural conditioning, have been taught that we don’t have permission to use our voices. For many of us, practicing Wise Speech may mean learning how to use our voices that have been silenced, how to wisely communicate the needs and boundaries we’ve gotten used to keeping hidden. Many of us, in an effort to be liked or for fear of rocking the boat, have favored being nice over being honest and true to ourselves. But Wise Speech teaches us that speaking up, even when it’s hard, is sometimes the wise choice, and that speech is never truly kind if we cause harm to ourselves.

A final part of Wise Speech is careful listening. We must listen with compassion, understanding, and receptivity. It can be really helpful to observe how much of the time we spend “listening” to someone else is actually spent judging them or planning what we’re going to say in response. Deep listening—without selfishness, or an agenda—is an act of generosity that lets us build true connection.

Questions for Inquiry of Wise Speech:

Have you caused harm with your speech? How?

Have you been dishonest or harsh in your communication? When, and in what specific ways?

Do you use speech now to hurt or control people, to present a false idea or image of yourself or of reality, to demand attention, or to relieve the discomfort of silence? Detail specific instances in which you used speech to mislead, misdirect, or distract.

Are you careful to avoid causing harm with your speech?

Do you say things you know are not true, or pretend to know the truth about something when you don’t, to appear more knowledgeable or credible than you are? List some examples.

Wise Action

Wise Action is also based in the intention to do no harm and to foster compassion, lovingkindness, generosity, and forgiveness. We try to do what’s skillful, and avoid actions that are unskillful. Wise Action asks that we try to make choices based on understanding and not unthinking habits or ignorance.

The Buddha suggested that we make a commitment to avoid five specific actions that cause harm, a commitment which is known as the Five Precepts. We commit to the Five Precepts as our basic ethical system:

1. We set the intention to avoid taking the life of another living being, or from causing harm to ourselves or another living being.
2. We set the intention to avoid taking what is not freely given, or stealing.
3. We set the intention to avoid causing harm though our sexual conduct, and to be aware of the consequences and impact of our sexual activity and desire.
4. We set the intention of being honest, of not lying, and of not using speech in a harmful way.
5. We set the intention to avoid the use of intoxicants and intoxicating behavior that cloud our awareness.

We need to continually reflect on and question the intentions behind our actions. We may have moments of clarity, but these can quickly pass, when old habits or thinking resurfaces. We commit to constantly reminding ourselves of our intention to Wise Action: to act in ways that are non-harming.

Questions for Inquiry of Wise Action:

Have you acted in a way that was unskillful or that created suffering? How?

During those times you were unskillful or created suffering, how would it have changed the outcome if you had acted out of compassion, kindness, generosity, and forgiveness? Would you now have a different emotional or mental response to your past actions if you had acted with these principles in mind?

First Precept:
● Have you caused harm? How? (Allow for a broad understanding of harm, including physical, emotional, mental, and karmic harm as well as financial, legal, moral, or other forms of harm.)
● Even if you can’t point to specific harms that you have caused, have you acted in a way that purposely avoided being aware of the possibility of harm?

Second Precept:
● People “take” in many ways: we take goods or material possessions, we take time and energy, we take care and recognition. With this broad understanding of taking, have you taken what has not been freely given? How? What are specific examples or patterns where this has been true for you?

Third Precept:
●Have you behaved irresponsibly, selfishly, or without full consent and awareness (from yourself or partners) in your sexual conduct? How?
● Reviewing your sexual partners or activities, have you been fully aware in each instance of other existing relationships, prior or current mental or emotional conditions of yourself and your partner(s), and your own intentions in becoming sexually involved? How or how not?
● Has your sexual activity, both by yourself and with others, been based on non-harmful intentions? Have you entered into each sexual activity with awareness and understanding? How or how not?

Fourth Precept:
● Have you been dishonest? How?
● What patterns did your dishonesty take? Did you act or speak dishonestly to deny or misrepresent the truth about your own behavior or status?
● Were there particular situations in which your dishonesty was particularly present (for instance: when dealing with your addictive behaviors, in job or professional settings, among friends, with family)? Investigate the source of the dishonesty in each setting: Was it based on greed, confusion, fear, denial? Why were you lying?

Fifth Precept:
● Have you used intoxicants or other behaviors that cloud your ability to see clearly?
● What substances and behaviors have you become reliant on to change or cloud your awareness? Has this changed over time? Or, if you have periods of abstinence, were your habitual intoxicants or behaviors replaced by other ways to avoid awareness of your present circumstances and conditions? How?

List ways you might practice the Five Precepts, compassion, lovingkindness, and generosity in your decision-making.

Wise Livelihood

The final factor in the ethical group is Wise Livelihood, which focuses on how we support ourselves in the world. Again, the intent is to avoid causing harm. For most of us, our work occupies so much of our time and attention, so how we choose to make a living takes on special importance. Understanding the principle of karma, and knowing that unwholesome activity gives rise to unwholesome karma, whatever choices or circumstances lead us to a particular job need to be recognized as having karmic consequences.

We try to avoid jobs that give rise to suffering, and seek work that does no harm or reduces suffering. The Buddha mentions five kinds of livelihood to avoid: trading in weapons or instruments of killing, trafficking in or selling human beings, killing of other beings, making or selling addictive drugs, or business in poison. We’re encouraged to avoid occupations based on dishonesty or injury.

Whatever our job is, we can practice it mindfully, with an intention of non-harm, of easing suffering, and of compassion. This means developing an attitude toward our occupation beyond just the money we make. We can develop an approach of service and caring about the effects of our actions on others, both within and outside our workspaces. Wise Livelihood is not about judging ourselves or others for their choice of work or trying to limit their choices. Instead, we try to understand why and how we engage in whatever occupation we practice. Whatever work we do, we can maintain an intention of benefiting others.

Questions for Inquiry of Wise Livelihood:

Does your job cause harm? What is the specific nature of that harm?

How can you do your job more mindfully and with an intention of compassion and non-harm?

Do you bring an understanding of karma and kindness to your job, or do you compartmentalize it and exclude it from awareness of wise action?

What part does greed play in the choices you make in your livelihood? Does greed get in the way of awareness or compassion?

How can you be of more service in your community?

How might you bring a spirit of generosity to your life, both in your profession and outside it?

Wise Effort

Wise Effort is the first of the concentration group. It means concentrating our effort on understanding and recovery and awakening. Wise Effort isn’t based on how much we should meditate, how much service we should do, or how much time we put into healthy activity. Instead, it’s the intention to devote balanced energy to supporting the other parts of the path, particularly wisdom.

The first thing to pay attention to is avoiding situations and states of mind that can lead to unwholesome, unskillful, or harmful responses. We become more aware of conditions in our lives, and investigate our own responses and reactions to those conditions. When we’re operating out of greed, ignorance, confusion, or thinking we can get what we want, we need to be aware of that. We put in the effort and energy to understand what circumstances allowed these conditions to arise and how we can begin to move away from those responses.

Energy or effort is also devoted to letting compassion, lovingkindness, generosity, and forgiveness arise when they’re not present. If we find ourselves reacting with anger rather than compassion, fear instead of generosity, blame instead of forgiveness, we can ask how we would respond if those positive factors were present, and begin to respond more skillfully. Being hard on ourselves, beating ourselves up, and suffering from perfectionism are all familiar feelings during addiction and recovery. When we shame ourselves for not being good enough, not trying hard enough, not being enough, these are perfect opportunities to practice Wise Effort, to reflect on the question, "In this moment, how can I be kind and gentle with myself?"

Wise Effort continued

In early recovery, we may be most interested in damage control: simply stopping the destruction and demoralization we have suffered through our habitual, unskillful responses to craving. We can begin by awareness of that craving, and learning to make different choices that don’t trigger the craving. Sometimes awareness is enough; sometimes that’s all the effort we can muster. As we learn more skillful responses to our triggers, we gain space to have more compassion, lovingkindness, generosity, and forgiveness. And as this practice becomes more of a habit, equanimity and peacefulness begin to replace our habits of grasping and selfishness. Pacing ourselves is important, alternating periods of activity and rest. We need to be aware of what our mind, emotions, body, and recovery can handle right now, and avoid the stress that can come from pushing ourselves too far, too fast. We need to avoid those things that put us into unskillful mind-states, and try to do things that return us to a more easeful way of being in the present moment.

Try to remember that whatever your experience is right now, it will pass, often in unpredictable ways. Remind yourself that you don’t really know how long an unpleasant or painful experience will last. Try to be open to recognizing and investigating the experience while it is present, without interpreting it as a permanent part of your experience. Recognizing that the craving, experience, or thought will pass makes it easier to avoid the impulse to make an immediate, unskillful response.

Wise Effort continued

Questions for Inquiry of Wise Effort:

What efforts have you made to connect with a wise friend, mentor, or dharma buddy who can help you develop and balance your efforts?

Think of a situation that is causing you discomfort or unease. What is the nature of the effort you’re bringing to the situation? Pay attention to whether it feels balanced and sustainable, or if you’re leaning too far in the direction of either inactivity or overexertion?

Are you dealing with overwhelming desires, aversions, laziness or discouragement, restlessness and worry, or doubt about your own ability to recover? How do these hindrances affect the choices you’re making?

Are you avoiding feelings by checking out and giving up, or through obsessive busyness and perfectionism?

Wise Mindfulness

Mindfulness—being present to what’s going on in our minds, bodies, hearts, and world—is central to the practice of the Eightfold Path. We learn to be present for the way things are with compassion, without judging them or ourselves. Mindfulness is being aware of whatever is present, noticing it, and letting it pass. It’s also remembering that we’re on a path leading to our freedom and long-lasting happiness.

Mindfulness asks us to be aware and to investigate, without the reactivity and grasping for control that leads to suffering. We learn to stay attentive to what’s happening without having to either react to or deny what’s happening. For many of us, our addictions prevented us from being mindful. In fact, that was often the whole point: we used our substances and behaviors to avoid feeling, to avoid being aware, because being aware was painful. But by trying to avoid pain, we often created more suffering. We’re now making a different choice—to sit with the discomfort rather than pushing it away or trying to numb it. We can learn to sit with the discomfort in different ways, either up close and personal (saying “This fear is simply a bunch of body sensations”) or in a more distant, non-attached way (“There's the fear and I don't have to let it control me”). We’re choosing to respond to it with mindful investigation and compassion, and to trust that it will pass if we let it. We’re remembering that there’s another way to respond to life.

Our minds can get lost in how we react to experiences. When something happens, we almost immediately begin to create a story, plan, or fantasy about it. We have a thought about an experience, that thought leads to another, and on and on until we’re far from a real understanding of the experience itself. Mindfulness is noticing the experience in that moment before we get lost in the judgment of the moment or the stories we spin about it. Rather than blindly following our reactions and responses to an experience, mindfulness allows us the space to choose to respond skillfully and from a place of wisdom and morality.

Wise Mindfulness continued

Mindfulness encourages us to be open to and investigate the painful experiences (and our habitual reactions to those experiences), rather than to deny, ignore, suppress, or run from them. Most of us have been conditioned to be our own harshest critic from early on, especially during our fixations on substances and behaviors. We carry the shadow of that judge with us, even as we seek recovery, giving ourselves negative feedback and scrutinizing every effort we make, holding ourselves to impossible standards of perfection. Letting go of that inner critic allows us to be mindful in the present of the efforts we are making, mindful of the compassion and lovingkindness we’re learning to make a part of our practice and our lives. Remember that we often talk way more harshly to ourselves than we ever would to somebody else. It’s useful to notice when we’re treating ourselves too harshly, and then shift attention to what we are doing well. We can acknowledge the negative thought, and then gently let it go.

Mindfulness practice is based on what are called the four foundations. The first foundation, mindfulness of the body, asks us to bring awareness, attention, or focus to breathing and to bodily sensations. Meditations on the breath and body are focused on this awareness. The second foundation is mindfulness of feeling and feeling tones. This practice involves noticing the emotional tone—pleasure or displeasure—that comes with every sensation, even when the sensation is a thought. It also encourages us to notice when a sensation is neither pleasant nor unpleasant but feels neutral. For example, we can experience the sensations of breathing–the sensation of breathing in, the sensation of exhaling–by noticing where in our body we feel the breath most directly. But we can experience the sensations without feeling particular pleasure in the sensations of breathing: breathing is just there, it’s a natural process of being alive. The second foundation instructs us to notice those sensations that are neutral, as well as those that are pleasant or unpleasant.