Vetigo. AV and beast taking over
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Location: casablanca
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Vetigo. AV and beast taking over
For the last seven days, during the day, I would lose the battle to the beast and decide that I would drink in the near future, then in the evening, I would regain my sanity and would make a Big Plan commitment. this has been going on for days now.
I will be receiving a certain amount of money in a week time and when the beast heard of that, it took over my thought and my brain was hijacked to the point that I gave in and said Ok, we will drink.
Now, the minute I get up in the morning, it seems as if the AV has already been up waiting for me to get up. and it would say, Ok, so we will drink soon right? and it is relentless, and I give in and literally make plans for future drinking.
right now, it is evening time, and I have just finished working out, so endorphins and what have you are kicking. and when my neurotransmitters are working to optimal, I don't wanna drink again and I get the upper hand on the beast.
I have been here before, and unfortunately the outcome is a bad relapse.
I will be receiving a certain amount of money in a week time and when the beast heard of that, it took over my thought and my brain was hijacked to the point that I gave in and said Ok, we will drink.
Now, the minute I get up in the morning, it seems as if the AV has already been up waiting for me to get up. and it would say, Ok, so we will drink soon right? and it is relentless, and I give in and literally make plans for future drinking.
right now, it is evening time, and I have just finished working out, so endorphins and what have you are kicking. and when my neurotransmitters are working to optimal, I don't wanna drink again and I get the upper hand on the beast.
I have been here before, and unfortunately the outcome is a bad relapse.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
In Vertigo, if you become aware of a plan to drink “in the near future” what you are doing is “shifting” OUT of that plan.
The Vertigo you are experiencing is not uncommon in someone who has recently made a Big Plan against a persistent Addictive Voice.
Your “deciding” to “drink in the near future” is really just the old familiar thought patterns that are hitting that brick wall of a Big Plan, especially by evening in your case. You are not “losing” any “battle”. Your Beast is terrified that you have that once-in-a-lifetime Big Plan and have successfully gone through the week with only coming up with plans for “future drinking” and not actually gone and drank. The pattern of having more AV in the morning is actually totally harmless, just as long as you keep recognizing ITs plans for “future drinking”, because those are totally harmless as well.
I can sit here and within one minute come up with ten different plans for “future drinking”. Doing that is called “shifting”. What you are doing is “shifting” OUT of “Vertigo”.
You know how wrong it is for you to drink and harmless to not drink, but IT is trying to keep you from cutting off ITs oxygen supply.
The Vertigo you are experiencing is not uncommon in someone who has recently made a Big Plan against a persistent Addictive Voice.
Your “deciding” to “drink in the near future” is really just the old familiar thought patterns that are hitting that brick wall of a Big Plan, especially by evening in your case. You are not “losing” any “battle”. Your Beast is terrified that you have that once-in-a-lifetime Big Plan and have successfully gone through the week with only coming up with plans for “future drinking” and not actually gone and drank. The pattern of having more AV in the morning is actually totally harmless, just as long as you keep recognizing ITs plans for “future drinking”, because those are totally harmless as well.
I can sit here and within one minute come up with ten different plans for “future drinking”. Doing that is called “shifting”. What you are doing is “shifting” OUT of “Vertigo”.
You know how wrong it is for you to drink and harmless to not drink, but IT is trying to keep you from cutting off ITs oxygen supply.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by RecklessEric 
Can someone explain what "vertigo" refers to in this context?
“Vertigo. ...a strong Beast attack... Some people report... they sense the decision to drink has already been made, and it is inevitable that they will drink. They feel physically mobilized, ... there is a sense of excitement and relief. All the while, they experience a clear awareness that something is seriously wrong. ... a sense of eerie fascination. “Here I/we go again.” they report hearing.”
“Being forewarned is being forearmed. ... you are now aware of the vertigo state... You are now prepared to think aggressively about your predicament.”
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
p. 156 Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction, 1996, by Jack Trimpey.
“Vertigo. ...a strong Beast attack... Some people report... they sense the decision to drink has already been made, and it is inevitable that they will drink. They feel physically mobilized, ... there is a sense of excitement and relief. All the while, they experience a clear awareness that something is seriously wrong. ... a sense of eerie fascination. “Here I/we go again.” they report hearing.”
“Being forewarned is being forearmed. ... you are now aware of the vertigo state... You are now prepared to think aggressively about your predicament.”
“Vertigo. ...a strong Beast attack... Some people report... they sense the decision to drink has already been made, and it is inevitable that they will drink. They feel physically mobilized, ... there is a sense of excitement and relief. All the while, they experience a clear awareness that something is seriously wrong. ... a sense of eerie fascination. “Here I/we go again.” they report hearing.”
“Being forewarned is being forearmed. ... you are now aware of the vertigo state... You are now prepared to think aggressively about your predicament.”
Thanks GerandTwine
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Hi RecklessEric, hope you’re OK. I would just add that you’re not “losing the battle to the AV” by agreeing with ITs plans to drink later in the day....you would only lose the battle IF you decided to follow the Beast’s whining AV and drink! Which you haven’t, and every time you don’t, those neuronal Connections supporting your non-drinking status, are strengthened.
Vertigo is the Beast’s AV on steroids. It’s an ‘almost’ overwhelming feeling, trying to propel you straight to the drink, that instant. Vertigo doesn’t plan for future drinking, like the standard level of AV, it wants the drink right here, right now. BUT it matters not, because whether standard AV or vertigo-type AV, it can be recognised in the same way. The power is in the recognition, the AV/vertigo type AV are NOT you....because you’ve decided not to drink.
Once you can recognise them, they will lose their power, but bear in mind, it’s recognition and dismissal, not battling, arguing and fighting. The recognition brings the power back to you, if you fight and battle, it will up its game, because it’s a learned survival brain-drive in pursuit of alcohol, a rogue survival-drive trying to help you survive and nothing else matters to it, but alcohol. To negate it, don’t argue, try to reason, or fight it.
Vertigo is the Beast’s AV on steroids. It’s an ‘almost’ overwhelming feeling, trying to propel you straight to the drink, that instant. Vertigo doesn’t plan for future drinking, like the standard level of AV, it wants the drink right here, right now. BUT it matters not, because whether standard AV or vertigo-type AV, it can be recognised in the same way. The power is in the recognition, the AV/vertigo type AV are NOT you....because you’ve decided not to drink.
Once you can recognise them, they will lose their power, but bear in mind, it’s recognition and dismissal, not battling, arguing and fighting. The recognition brings the power back to you, if you fight and battle, it will up its game, because it’s a learned survival brain-drive in pursuit of alcohol, a rogue survival-drive trying to help you survive and nothing else matters to it, but alcohol. To negate it, don’t argue, try to reason, or fight it.
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