allforcnm

The following link leads to The 20 Minute Guide for Parents based on CRAFT – Community Reinforcement and Family Training:

Home - The Parent's 20 Minute Guide

This particular guide Is designed for parents but the concepts can by anyone. A 20 Minute Guide for Couples is coming soon.

A little background on CRAFT:

Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) teaches family and friends effective strategies for helping their loved one to change and for feeling better themselves. CRAFT works to affect the loved one’s behavior by changing the way the family interacts with him or her. It is designed to accomplish three goals:

1. When a loved one is abusing substances and refusing to get help, CRAFT helps families move their loved one toward treatment.

2. On its own, CRAFT helps reduce the loved one’s alcohol and drug use, whether or not the loved one has engaged in treatment yet.

3. CRAFT improves the lives of the concerned family and friends.

Drs. Robert J. Meyers and Jane Ellen Smith of the University of New Mexico developed the CRAFT program to teach families how to impact their loved one while avoiding both detachment, confrontation, and traditional interventions in which the substance user is confronted by family members and friends during a surprise meeting.

CRAFT is a skills-based program that impacts families in multiple areas of their lives, including self-care, pleasurable activities, problem solving, and goal setting. At the same time, CRAFT addresses their loved one’s resistance to change. CRAFT teaches families behavioral and motivational strategies for interacting with their loved one. Participants learn, for example, the power of positive reinforcement for positive behavior (and of withdrawing it for unwanted behavior), and how to use positive communication skills to improve interactions and maximize their influence.

Specifically, CRAFT teaches several skills, including:

•Understanding a loved one’s triggers to use substances
•Positive communication strategies
•Positive reinforcement strategies – rewarding non-using behavior
•Problem-solving
•Self-care
•Domestic violence precautions
•Getting a loved one to accept help

Many of these skills are valuable for the family even if their loved one does not enter treatment or has already begun the treatment process. Additionally, the skills remain essential over the long run for families in navigating and maintaining a positive trajectory for themselves as well as for their loved one.

CRAFT is not a quick fix, but rather an approach that can benefit both the substance user and the family in the short and long terms with a holistic plan of action and a more optimistic view.

allforcnm

One of the authors of the Parents 20 Minute Guide will be participating in a Free Online Webinar event at the Smart Recovery website. He is also one of the authors of the new book (Ive just finished reading)… How Science and Kindness Help Change People.. A guide for families.

Registration is limited for the webinar, details and a link to registration is provided below if anyone is interested.

SMART Recovery Online Events & Webinars
________________________________________
"How Science and Kindness Help People Change"
Presented by Dr. Jeffrey Foote
Saturday May 17 2014, 4:00-5:00 PM EDT

Registration for this FREE event is limited.

SMART Recovery welcomes Dr. Foote as he speaks about the Center for Motivation and Change (CMC) approach to helping families, which includes CRAFT, and introduces the CMC's best new tools to help our loved ones.
The new book, Beyond Addiction, by Jeffrey Foote, Ph.D., Carrie Wilkens, Ph.D., Nicole Kosanke, Ph.D., and Stephanie Higgs is complimented by an amazing interactive web resources: The 20-Minute Guide – especially for parents.

The Center for Motivation and Change (CMC), wishes to: “not only help everyone in the world access high-end, evidence-based treatment,” but also:

“To change the conversation. From the language of stigma to the language of growth. From defects to strengths. From shame to pride and an open heart. From punishment and confrontation to an invitation to truly change. And to change that conversation, we rely on science and kindness.”

Beyond Addiction and the 20 Minute Guide are already receiving high acclaim!

Dr. Foote is a nationally recognized clinical research scientist who has received extensive federal grant funding for his work on motivational treatment approaches. He has worked in the addiction treatment field as a clinician and researcher since the late 1980s, and has developed a unique motivational treatment approach that incorporates principles of group treatment as well as research-based principles of human behavior change.

Previously, Dr. Foote was the Deputy Director of the Division of Alcohol Treatment and Research at Mt. Sinai Medical Center in NYC, as well as a Senior Research Associate at The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA) in NYC. Dr. Foote also served as Chief of the Smithers Addiction Treatment and Research Center as well as Director of Evaluation and Research between 1994 and 2001. Dr. Foote was also team Psychologist for the New York Mets.

SMART Recovery is honored to welcome Dr. Foote and pleased to be able to offer this FREE event to its worldwide community and to the general public.

Registration link: https://attendee.gototraining.com/r/2805198667573951233

KariSue

Thanks, I am going to sign up for it.

Kari

KariSue

I signed up for it. Thanks again, I am looking forward to it!

Kari

BlueChair

I signed up this morning. I hope I can make it, I know this sounds ridiculous but my husband still doesnt know Im doing anything online. I have some guilt over this, but I guess its a whole other topic.

readerbaby71

Why do you feel guilty? I believe even if we are very close to someone, we all need to have our own "thing" that no one else needs to be a part of. You're doing a lot of stuff that's great for you and your relationship. I don't think you should feel bad about keeping to yourself.

KariSue

I am so disappointed because I forgot about it. I remembered about 15 minutes before it was over and tried to get in but had trouble doing so. I'm not too tech saavy but I was able to see a list of attendees with my name on it. Ones who didn't show up were crossed out. It said there were about 76 or so that were there but 200 signed up so I guess I wasn't the only one who forgot.

Darn. How was it? Anyone tune in?

Kari

BlueChair

When I first found SR he was in the hospital and I was sitting there for hours and I wanted to find stories of hope. Then he went into rehab and there was no need to mention any of it to him because it was all part of a coping type thing for me. I had never actively used a forum, getting used to it and learning how forums work has been interesting. Then I started reading some about Smart and the Craft stuff but I didnt know if the total of it would be something I accepted but I started learning to find out. No point mentioning something until you know I figured. But we dont keep secrets very much and over time I have come to have friends I rely on through these sources and it makes me feel guilty not to share it, but also makes me feel guilty to say I reached out online. Whats funny is I think he would probably like to read some of the things on the smart recovery site, but then that would be weird wouldnt it? Im a little confused !!

I phoned in Kari. Im SO happy I did because it helped me tie some pieces together and I feel good about the concepts I heard. I will try to post tomorrow and share some of the key things I responded to. My husband left today for a business trip and my goal is to finish reading the GYLOS book while he's gone. Would you believe someone asked the question how do you let your partner know you are working this program ! He didnt exactly answer but he told this story about how a woman client was working the program and she didnt tell her husband. As it went along, their relationship and communication improved, she even left the book lying around the house. One day her husband picked it up and was reading some of it and suggested to her 'their neighbor friends could use this' because they were having problems. She was smiling big on the inside !

allforcnm

I didn't sign up because I knew I would be unavailable during that time. It wasnt the best time during mid-day on Saturday for many people Im sure... of course it was a little later EST time... Im sure they had to work with Dr Foote's schedule too. A podcast will be released in a few days, and I should be able to link it here from the Smart site.

allforcnm

This is the link for the free Podcast... its being made available through Smart Recovery... "How Science and Kindness Help People Change" by Dr. Jeffrey Foote

SMART Recovery® Podcasts : WEBINAR: How Science and Kindness Help People Change with Dr. Jeffrey Foote

Just "click" on the little Pod Button (upper left corner) to listen in...

Ohhappyday

Thank-you! I will listen to the podcast. I have been getting pressure from my sister and marriage counsellor to Do Something about my son's abuse problem, specifically have an intervention. I was so upset at that...I am numb, feel like I am not responsible, don't want to Be responsible. He is 29, in an expensive apt now 2 months since I asked him to leave because he was abusing again, recently been mugged face cut up, buying drugs...and lost his good job. He's coming over this morning to get his mail...I just read all through the twenty minute guide and it is sooo helpful. Yes rehab is his best option while he has two months more of health insurance, while he is at what would appear to be rock bottom. But he doesn't see any of this. I am unable to feel anything because the first thing that will surface is the fear I have for the new low he has reached....no relationships, (except with other drug users) lost his driving license, crippling overwhelming debt, no job, and apparently no ability to see what is happening to him.
I am going to accept myself. Not TakeOver the situation. I feel so numb I can't even love him...that's what worries me the most. I'm angry at him. I feel like I've just given up.
Because every time I look at the positive I feel hopeful and I am struck down with new and worse disappointment .
I am going to spend the day with my grandchildren! (Other son's) I am going to remember to exercise. I am going to watch for the red light in any conversation with him.
Thank you for showing me a new tool that aligns with what is in my gut. Punishing this child never worked.

KariSue

Thank you so much! I just listened to it. I haven't been around for a bit because we go through periods of drama vs. no drama with this addiction thing. It has been quiet so I tend not to come then.

I had a lovely day with my son today and no guarantees for tomorow but I think I'm instinctively doing what CRAFT is advocating without knowing about CRAFT. I do want to read up on it though.

Kari

KariSue

Your last sentence really speaks to me. This aligns with what is in my gut also. I seem to know instinctively that you have to set limits to protect yourself but there is no need to throw out the baby with the bath water either.

My son got mad at me and we barely spoke for the last month or so. I was never mad at him. I just imposed a limit (he couldn't come into my house until I could trust him again...last time he stole something). I told him that his children were welcome, I would come to his apartment for celebrations, etc. and we could meet in public places. He got all ticked off and acted childish but finally came around. We had a lovely day just the two of us today. Ate lunch out, helped him shop for a shirt, went to his apartment. He is making some good choices and I hope he continues on the right path but if he doesn't I'm not giving up days like today. It was great AND if feels right.

Kari

NoGround

The SMART Recovery podcast is also available by free subscription through iTunes.

BlueChair

This is what I discovered when I looked into Craft and talked to the counselor Ive been working with. She said this is how she had been guiding me but in an unofficial way. They teach it there to help families who are trying to get their SO into treatment, but since mine was already there she was just sort of doing it based on the principles because she saw it fit with my personality and the close relationship we already had between us.

I just signed up for Craft classes online given by the authors of the book Beyond Addiction. There is one class per month, and access to other stuff online too.

It sounds like you had a wonderful day, keep it close. You did great !!