Fastenbulbus

Gforce,

I still go to AA meetings for the fellowship of it. I don't say I am an atheist or agnostic, but I make it very clear that I am there under the 3rd Tradition. That I didn't come to AA looking for a 'god'. I have met a lot of good people there and the thumpers and holy rollers more or less ignore me, and I ignore them. I still yearn for an agnostic meeting and it has been suggested that I go to one of the business meetings and set-up such a meeting. I might just do that too. I chair meetings just so I can talk about what I want to talk about and I stick to non-religious themes and leave out the 'god' talk.

nycguy83

That's pretty much where I'm at with AA. I attend SMART for the tools, and every now and then an AA meeting for the community... altho if I lived in the burbs or rural area I doubt I would...

My years in 12-step did leave me with some positive notions (take responsibility for your side of the street, if you want self esteem do esteemable acts, etc etc), but I suppose it just doesn't fit with my worldview anymore....

hamabi

I'm a strong supporter of people going where they feel the most comfortable, wherever that may be. If AA meetings are not a good fit for an individual and they seek another approach, then that's reason enough for them to never attend another meeting, where what they will continually hear is the approach they cannot do. It's so much better for members to speak to those wanting their help and not waste their time with those who want to go elsewhere but don't leave.

I fully support them going, and am disheartened when I see them stay. If they stay they become increasingly uncomfortable and dissatisfied. They cannot connect with the sober people and it almost always plays out in the usual negative ways that impact only the newcomer.

It's so much better for them to go quickly, just as soon as they realize AA cannot possibly work for them, while still sober and able to make better choices for themselves.

Another plus is that whatever happens from that point on is a brand new chapter in their story, a fresh start. They will realize the results of their perferred path.

And since alcoholics quite often change radically in a very short time, almost appearing to be completely different people with the passage of only a few years, at some future point AA may finally be the perfect fit for them, based on their needs at that particular time.

trappeshot

it's funny I have NO problem with the higher power deal. I had what I consider to be a spiral experience and I believe that my higher power saved my life in my addiction and put me on the right path

what I have a problem with is step 4. First, I'm an addict but there are a lot of things about myself I like. I like the fact that I am a dreamer and I work to realize my dreams but step 4 work book tells me that this is a character defect.

I LOVE going to meetings. I have no problem going to meetings and I am 2 years clean now but i can't get past step 4 i refuse to go past step 4. I believe in helping other addicts and alcoholics I believe in the community, but i hit a road block when they start telling me that I have character defects such as working too hard, being attracted to pretty women, etc. Those are pretty normal character traits.

Zencat

I find it amusing that I'm an atheist in a 12 step program/fellowship and have NO problem with that deal.

Yea step 4, I worked that step with a balanced view about myself. Damm right I did things that were amoral or egotistical. I made note of those negative personality traits and proceeded to correct them whenever possible. I also made a searching inventory of all good I am capable of doing. I continue to nurture the good side of me, wile neglecting that peaky ego (not the original me) that hinders my healing ways.

3XALady

Meg,
I have 4 months sobriety & I, also am on step two. An "old timer" in my home group explained how his sponsor responded to him, when asking the same question you have. He was saying how using the "door knob" as a HP didn't fly with him -( huh? wondered bout that also, I wondered that also) haha.
His sponsor said, "Rick, have you ever had your ass whipped?" Rick said, "well yeah, I have!" His sponsor said, "well that's your (a) higher power!!.. you got your ass whipped by someone stronger than you!"
That sounds to me like it may be one answer to your question Re: "how can a bad experience be a higher power?"
Rick doesn't use the "ass whipper"as his HP, but he got it, or rather, understood what his sponsor point.
Hope that helps - its all I got, I'm still learning too...let me know if you've heard any other crazy explanations or if you get the "door knob" thing! Ha!