24 Hour No Nicotine/No Smoking Club ~ Part 15
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Mid-Atlantic states
Posts: 1,052
I fought a raging nicotine addiction from when I was a teenager until 1998. I quit smoking for FOURTEEN years and when my mom passed away in 2012 I just wanted to break something, so I went and bought a pack of cigarettes......after FOURTEEN years of not one. I continued, but always less than 10 all the way until May of 2020 when I quit drinking. It was hard to quit both at the same time but I knew that having either in the absence of the other could jeopardize myself.
Surprisingly smoking has not been hard to quit for me this time and I sincerely believe that I will never have one again since it has been three years......However, I also said that and started again after 14 and didn't quit for another 8.........In some ways I think it is harder than alcohol, in other ways I do not.
As you know, Steely, like alcohol, just keep quitting. You did not lose those 38 days. Just keep every day. You will do it as you have with drinking.
Surprisingly smoking has not been hard to quit for me this time and I sincerely believe that I will never have one again since it has been three years......However, I also said that and started again after 14 and didn't quit for another 8.........In some ways I think it is harder than alcohol, in other ways I do not.
As you know, Steely, like alcohol, just keep quitting. You did not lose those 38 days. Just keep every day. You will do it as you have with drinking.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,807
Thank you all so much.
And thanks for sharing Oglsby.
It really is the first smoke that does the damage.
There exists what is known as the "Stoics Cup." I bought it in 1987. Classic and beautiful. I had it engraved with the names of 4 of my girlfriends, in 1987. It also has our nicknames. I am 'The Fox'. Then there's 'Blanche", "Rails Run", "St Jude of the Hopeless, and "Gimlet". Lol. They were stoical times.
Above our names is engraved "Mother I'm Rooted." The title of a book of poetry by Australian poet Kate Jennings. I think she lives in New York now.
Anyrate the cup cup was handed to me to look after until next time, so I'm picking it up and putting down the smokes.
Go make spaghetti bolognaise instead. 🏆
Thanks everyone.
And thanks for sharing Oglsby.
It really is the first smoke that does the damage.
There exists what is known as the "Stoics Cup." I bought it in 1987. Classic and beautiful. I had it engraved with the names of 4 of my girlfriends, in 1987. It also has our nicknames. I am 'The Fox'. Then there's 'Blanche", "Rails Run", "St Jude of the Hopeless, and "Gimlet". Lol. They were stoical times.
Above our names is engraved "Mother I'm Rooted." The title of a book of poetry by Australian poet Kate Jennings. I think she lives in New York now.
Anyrate the cup cup was handed to me to look after until next time, so I'm picking it up and putting down the smokes.
Go make spaghetti bolognaise instead. 🏆
Thanks everyone.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,807
DD is powering in the most gentle of ways. Congrats DD.
I think my brother has duped me. He said he needed to stay for one week only, now he says he can't go back to the place he is meant to be staying.
He's coming back here tonight and will have to have serious talk. I can't live with someone who sleeps sitting up with his shoes on, and is on the nod. Doesn't shower.
He cannot stay here.
Support please.
Steely
I think my brother has duped me. He said he needed to stay for one week only, now he says he can't go back to the place he is meant to be staying.
He's coming back here tonight and will have to have serious talk. I can't live with someone who sleeps sitting up with his shoes on, and is on the nod. Doesn't shower.
He cannot stay here.
Support please.
Steely
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I used to "take in" people (including a drinker brother getting divorced.) I stopped doing that, and the world has somehow continued to spin without me helping. I get it, though.
Sorry you were lied to, Steely...Be strong like steel. At the end of the week, hold him to the agreement of one week.
Sorry you were lied to, Steely...Be strong like steel. At the end of the week, hold him to the agreement of one week.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,807
Day 2
Thanks KC, and bimini, too.
I had the long hard talk with my brother and he says he going to the Dept. of Housing on Tuesday. It's a public holiday on Monday. They can only give him temporary and insecure housing and there is nothing I can do about it. He put himself there.
His housing crisis goes back over a year where I tried to help him gain permanent accommodation through the Dept. Of Housing. He never followed through on anything. Lied about how he was keeping appointments, etc.
He's a good person, and I like him, but let's face it, my brother is a junkie.
I can't do anything more, and these are the consequences my brother.
I feel bad, but have enough on my plate, and he has known forever that homelessness might be the outcome, yet still he took no action, not even with people backing him up. I spent days, hours, weeks, trying to get him to get documentation together, but always nothing in reply.
I'm over the bs.
Thanks KC, and bimini, too.
I had the long hard talk with my brother and he says he going to the Dept. of Housing on Tuesday. It's a public holiday on Monday. They can only give him temporary and insecure housing and there is nothing I can do about it. He put himself there.
His housing crisis goes back over a year where I tried to help him gain permanent accommodation through the Dept. Of Housing. He never followed through on anything. Lied about how he was keeping appointments, etc.
He's a good person, and I like him, but let's face it, my brother is a junkie.
I can't do anything more, and these are the consequences my brother.
I feel bad, but have enough on my plate, and he has known forever that homelessness might be the outcome, yet still he took no action, not even with people backing him up. I spent days, hours, weeks, trying to get him to get documentation together, but always nothing in reply.
I'm over the bs.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,666
try not to feel bad Steely - you didn't put your brother in the situation he's in now, and you didn't make those bad choices for him either.
deferring your recovery for someone's elses is fundamentally self destructive.
D
deferring your recovery for someone's elses is fundamentally self destructive.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,807
Deferring recovery for other is self destructive. Needed to read that Dee. In the not too distant past I was kamikaze.
Quite proud of myself for getting real with him. I don't think he expected it of me, he knows I'm a soft touch.
But now I'm Steely of the Tiny Yay, and not so soft after all. Firm, but gentle.
Yay!
Quite proud of myself for getting real with him. I don't think he expected it of me, he knows I'm a soft touch.
But now I'm Steely of the Tiny Yay, and not so soft after all. Firm, but gentle.
Yay!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,807
I failed.
It is just too difficult with my brother being here. Says he's going to try find alternative housing tomorrow. Who knows. He has problems with the truth.
I'll kick off again when I have my own space back. To hard currently.
I'm sorry if I've disappointed you all.
He hasn't had a shower in 5 days.
He can't remain here.
I'll be back.
Keep going klio. ❤️
It is just too difficult with my brother being here. Says he's going to try find alternative housing tomorrow. Who knows. He has problems with the truth.
I'll kick off again when I have my own space back. To hard currently.
I'm sorry if I've disappointed you all.
He hasn't had a shower in 5 days.
He can't remain here.
I'll be back.
Keep going klio. ❤️
It did finally stick, so I'm sending you courage.Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,807
Thanks bimini. You are right.
Brother still here and he looks really beaten. Hasn't showered, or changed his clothes (didn't bring any) for 5 days. Stooped. Looks ill. Knees no good. Not eating well.
Says he's going to the Dept. Of Housing today, but really don't know if he will. He might just wander around pretending.
He has 4 daughters, and though they care about him, don't want to live with him. They have little kids and he looks like a broken, homeless man. They don't want their kids around it. He just sits on couch nodding off behind his phone It is incredibly stressful. He is still going to ask his daughters, but I don't hold out much hope. My flat is small and bumping into each other. Has to go through my bedroom to get to bathroom.
He's a d/head for putting me/everyone in this position because we have been tying to help him for a long time. He's not a bad person. The pills have taken everything.
How in the f do I tell a sick and broken brother to hit the street?
Dont know that I can, but also know that I can't handle it.
There are no good outcomes here.
Brother still here and he looks really beaten. Hasn't showered, or changed his clothes (didn't bring any) for 5 days. Stooped. Looks ill. Knees no good. Not eating well.
Says he's going to the Dept. Of Housing today, but really don't know if he will. He might just wander around pretending.
He has 4 daughters, and though they care about him, don't want to live with him. They have little kids and he looks like a broken, homeless man. They don't want their kids around it. He just sits on couch nodding off behind his phone It is incredibly stressful. He is still going to ask his daughters, but I don't hold out much hope. My flat is small and bumping into each other. Has to go through my bedroom to get to bathroom.
He's a d/head for putting me/everyone in this position because we have been tying to help him for a long time. He's not a bad person. The pills have taken everything.
How in the f do I tell a sick and broken brother to hit the street?
Dont know that I can, but also know that I can't handle it.
There are no good outcomes here.
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