tryingtrying

Hi everyone. I'm new at posting, but have been reading the forums for awhile now.

I'm a 41 year old married mom who drinks just about every day or night. I usually don't get drunk and I drink to keep from being bored. I don't like it and I want to try to stop and make some changes.

I'm finding my biggest hurdle is trying to be interested in other things. I'm just "not", and I really want to change that. I've tried hobbies, housework, shopping, etc., but I end up drinking right along with doing those things - including going to the gym. How twisted is that?

I've even had a drink before work (I work in the mornings and get off around noon) and brought another one in a travel mug (to keep it cold) to have on the way home. It's just so wrong and it makes me sad that I did that (only a handful of times).

I know how irresponsible I am being. It's like it's controlling me. I dread the thought of spending an evening without a drink to have... as if I'd die of boredom or be so unhappy that I couldn't stand it .. or something... I can't quite put it into words.

I'm not necessarily in an unhappy marriage, although it's been more in "room mate" mode the last many years. We do things together, like go for walks (one of the only things I always do sober) but he's not much of a talker, is never really excited about anything, doesn't like to do much, etc. So, I know I have to do something on my own... just not sure what.

I thought maybe if I started by asking you all if you ever felt the way I do, how did you get past it? ... What do you enjoy doing (sober), especially in the evenings?

Thanks so much for listening to me... My first post is a little long. I hope I don't sound too weird. (I'm completely sober this afternoon, as I write this, by the way... trying to make it into the night and to bed without a drink.)

Thanks again... very much.

ndgrace

Hi Trying,
That was a big problem for me too, I obsessed about how will I fill the time. Now I can't believe I ever worried about it. Things tend to take care of themselves when we let someone (our HP) be in control. I still get anxious and "crave" a drink, but it is happening less and less. AA meetings filled my evenings for a while, and just attending to life with more detail filled in the rest. Calling friends, taking walks, going shopping, bikeriding and to fall asleep I like to read. I joined a gym with a friend and do that every evening also. There is this great big world out there with people who need help also.
My husband is a lot like yours, but very available to watch movies etc(we are 48 and empty nesters). I had to really let him know how important he was to my recovery, and he is really trying.
The most important thing I do is pray every morning, that God would help me not take a drink today, and show me what He wants me to do.
Thanks for letting me share

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

As alcohol is a depressant..it filled me with dull inersia.
Nothing interested me

Once I got and stayed sober...I found so many things
to be involved with.

AA was the beginning of my solution..

Blessings

Arura

I try to fill my time with recovery groups, working in the gardens. I pass the time when im out the door by wachting the birds,tree's,people.anything that catches my eye.
Volunteering is a great idea.Get involved,meet other people n give something back,helps with the self confidence aswell.Respect from others.
you might start seeing things clearer if you take a step back n look at the situation. .

Good Luck...x

Cathy B.

Tryingtrying,
I have some of the same concerns. I was reading these boards because of my sister, who is using drugs, but now I am concerned about my drinking. I drink every night with dinner, and i really like it. I usually have

Cathy B.

Sorry, I must have pressed the post button, here is the rest:

I usually have one glass, but sometimes two. I am going to cut back this week but it gives me anxiety to think about not drinking so I guess that means I have a problem?
anyway, thanks for your post, it helped me. I am married and wonder what to do now at night with no wine.
wishing you the best.

amymarie

Hi Trying,
I have learned by working a program of recovery ( I am in NA) all sorts of new and exciting things that I didn't even know I would consider as fun.
I now camp, fish, cook, write, talk to other recovering addicts, paint, swim, rearrange furniture in my home, paint my nails, go to meetings, smell the roses etc...
It took awhile for my energy to be revived and for my depression to subside, but in time I began (and am still learning daily) a new way of thinking. With that, comes desire and motivation. Step work is my answer.. I hope this helps...
and welcome!