new here and hopeful
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: here
Posts: 8
new here and hopeful
Hi everyone!
I've had issues with alcohol for ten years now. It started when I was 15 and had a boyfriend who had occasional access to liquor. He and his friends were of the opinion that the only reason to drink is to get drunk, and so, that is what I learned before I ever took my first drink.
However, the past four years have been the worst for me. At first, I had few responsibilities in life and was horribly depressed (which made me very careless about what I might be doing to myself.)
Now I'm married and have a 2 year old son. My depression is worlds better. But my husband works two jobs, and my child goes to day care whether or not I work. (We dont have many friends yet in our new town, and he loves to go play at school with the other children.)
My isolation and anxiety over real responsibility was the perfect excuse to use alcohol as a crutch. And then, something very unfortunate happened. Amongst the few friends and family I have, there were increasingly vocal expressions of concern. This led to me believing that I was hopelessly addicted and that, short of rehab (which is absolutely impossible to arrange, for so many reasons,) that I'd never be able to stop.
And so I acted out the label for a long time. I dont deny that I definately have a problem with alcohol. In fact, I believe that I have a problem with any mind-altering substance (fortunately I have very, very little experience with any other drug except for nicotine due to this belief.)
This is my second day of not drinking. I've certainly quit for much longer periods of time, but never with the attitude that I do now. Something happened yesterday and I just realized that I'm not (by some miracle) physically addicted yet.
I do, however, have a long road ahead of me. While I may have an easier time quitting than others, I know that I can never go back to drinking. I was definately on my way to becoming a full-blown alcoholic. I don't intend to ever drink again. It's essential that I never forget that.
Sorry this is a bit disjointed and vague. I got about 2 hours of sleep last night due to toddler antics.
I've had issues with alcohol for ten years now. It started when I was 15 and had a boyfriend who had occasional access to liquor. He and his friends were of the opinion that the only reason to drink is to get drunk, and so, that is what I learned before I ever took my first drink.
However, the past four years have been the worst for me. At first, I had few responsibilities in life and was horribly depressed (which made me very careless about what I might be doing to myself.)
Now I'm married and have a 2 year old son. My depression is worlds better. But my husband works two jobs, and my child goes to day care whether or not I work. (We dont have many friends yet in our new town, and he loves to go play at school with the other children.)
My isolation and anxiety over real responsibility was the perfect excuse to use alcohol as a crutch. And then, something very unfortunate happened. Amongst the few friends and family I have, there were increasingly vocal expressions of concern. This led to me believing that I was hopelessly addicted and that, short of rehab (which is absolutely impossible to arrange, for so many reasons,) that I'd never be able to stop.
And so I acted out the label for a long time. I dont deny that I definately have a problem with alcohol. In fact, I believe that I have a problem with any mind-altering substance (fortunately I have very, very little experience with any other drug except for nicotine due to this belief.)
This is my second day of not drinking. I've certainly quit for much longer periods of time, but never with the attitude that I do now. Something happened yesterday and I just realized that I'm not (by some miracle) physically addicted yet.
I do, however, have a long road ahead of me. While I may have an easier time quitting than others, I know that I can never go back to drinking. I was definately on my way to becoming a full-blown alcoholic. I don't intend to ever drink again. It's essential that I never forget that.
Sorry this is a bit disjointed and vague. I got about 2 hours of sleep last night due to toddler antics.
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Fight ... WIN!!
Posts: 118
Hello, Perdita X and welcome to SR! You've found a great place - the folks here are very supportive and giving, and can certainly help you find your way back to where you want to be. Feel free to browse around and read other folk's posts - they can give you invaluable tips on maintaining your recovery effort. I tried to go sober for several years (most efforts not lasting even a full day!) and couldn't do it until I found SR. If you have any tough times, questions, or just want someone to say "Congrats for making it another day!" just holler!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: here
Posts: 8
wishful, thanks for the welcome! I actually failed to mention that I stumbled upon SR yesterday morning. After reading a good deal of info and stepping outside a few times to smoke a cig and think ... well that's when I sort of had my epiphany.
Without finding SR yesterday, I'd probably be sitting in the living room right now -- drinking beer or wine and playing video games to pass the time until husband and baby got home.
(And already the sobriety has paid off, as I found out an hour ago that *I* would have to get my son from day care due to husband working late today. YIKES! SOO glad I'm not drinking!)
**edited because it is hard to type and eat doritos at the same time -- especially with the lights off **
Without finding SR yesterday, I'd probably be sitting in the living room right now -- drinking beer or wine and playing video games to pass the time until husband and baby got home.
(And already the sobriety has paid off, as I found out an hour ago that *I* would have to get my son from day care due to husband working late today. YIKES! SOO glad I'm not drinking!)
**edited because it is hard to type and eat doritos at the same time -- especially with the lights off **
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome! 
Let us know how you are doing..
I suggest...
Drink a lot of water to rid your body and brain of toxins.
Sobriety is a grand gift for you and your family..Congratulations!!
Let us know how you are doing..
I suggest...
Drink a lot of water to rid your body and brain of toxins.
Sobriety is a grand gift for you and your family..Congratulations!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Focus
Posts: 687
Originally Posted by Perdita X
Hi everyone!
I know that I can never go back to drinking.
I know that I can never go back to drinking.
Welcome and congratulations to you for deciding to rid youself of alcohol,
I doubt you will ever regret this decision
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: here
Posts: 8
Carol, I hear you about the water. I've always needed to drink more water, but I definately need to right now. I have a bag of lemons in my fridge and hubby made a ton of ice for me last night when I mentioned that i'd need water today. (Bought my first house in January, and have yet to get the water line for the ice maker repaired, lol.)
What I've noticed today has been that i've had moments of really feeling isolated. Hubby is working the second job today for the first time in a week and it's caused the day to drag. I've had moments of depression and fatigue, so I took a long nap this afternoon. It really helped my mentality.
Why do people keep saying to avoid caffeine? I think I made today unnecessarily hard by avoiding caffeine and plan to buy a case of diet coke this evening before I pick up my son.
I think it would make the evening go much better if I could play my video games and still have SOMETHING in a can that I could knock back while I played.
Well, I'm off to get some of that water and figure out what my fussy little boy will eat for dinner. Thanks again, you guys.
And Ash, there is no way that I'll ever regret stopping the alcohol. Absolutely nothing to be gained by it at all.
What I've noticed today has been that i've had moments of really feeling isolated. Hubby is working the second job today for the first time in a week and it's caused the day to drag. I've had moments of depression and fatigue, so I took a long nap this afternoon. It really helped my mentality.
Why do people keep saying to avoid caffeine? I think I made today unnecessarily hard by avoiding caffeine and plan to buy a case of diet coke this evening before I pick up my son.
I think it would make the evening go much better if I could play my video games and still have SOMETHING in a can that I could knock back while I played.
Well, I'm off to get some of that water and figure out what my fussy little boy will eat for dinner. Thanks again, you guys.
And Ash, there is no way that I'll ever regret stopping the alcohol. Absolutely nothing to be gained by it at all.
Guest
Join Date: May 2006
Location: the OC, ca
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by Perdita X
And then, something very unfortunate happened. Amongst the few friends and family I have, there were increasingly vocal expressions of concern.
video games...ah yes. i sit down with a bottle of weinhard's black cherry or cream soda. it's more expensive than beer, but my little reward for being 'good'. i've learned from this board that what works for some, doesn't work for others, so you will have to try different things.
congrats on your decision. you will never wake up in the morning and regret your heavy night of sobriety
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well...caffeine affects the central nervous system.
It stimulates your brain.
Yours is de toxing just now.
Let it heal and get in a natural balance.
Just my experience...
It stimulates your brain.
Yours is de toxing just now.
Let it heal and get in a natural balance.
Just my experience...
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Hi Perdita
Just wanted to welcome you to SR and glad that you have found us. Yes this is a wonderful place, a family if you will. Hope that you find what you are looking for, hope to see you around the boards.
Love Vic
Just wanted to welcome you to SR and glad that you have found us. Yes this is a wonderful place, a family if you will. Hope that you find what you are looking for, hope to see you around the boards.
Love Vic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: here
Posts: 8
Just an update: I'm having a wonderful weekend, and still doing fine with staying sober.
I noticed that the video games are a horrific trigger to drink unless I have SOME sort of fluid beside me. Then again, I've always needed some sort of fluid nearby at all times. Hubby got cans of diet coke, gatoraid powder, and some limes for water so that I could not run out of delicious things to drink.
For the time being, I'm using the money I would have used on drinks for special foods or eating out. We all went out for pizza and salads yesterday, and it was so nice. Normally, we never eat out.
Anyway, I'm going to scram again now. Little one wants me to watch Care Bears with him and share his mac and cheese, lol.
Thank you all for your support. This is really turning into a wonderful experience for my whole family.
I noticed that the video games are a horrific trigger to drink unless I have SOME sort of fluid beside me. Then again, I've always needed some sort of fluid nearby at all times. Hubby got cans of diet coke, gatoraid powder, and some limes for water so that I could not run out of delicious things to drink.
For the time being, I'm using the money I would have used on drinks for special foods or eating out. We all went out for pizza and salads yesterday, and it was so nice. Normally, we never eat out.
Anyway, I'm going to scram again now. Little one wants me to watch Care Bears with him and share his mac and cheese, lol.
Thank you all for your support. This is really turning into a wonderful experience for my whole family.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: here
Posts: 8
Carol, before I go, thanks for answering about the caffeine.
I've noticed that I haven't wanted as much as usual. I think I had two cups of coffee and four cans of diet coke yesterday. (normally drink about 12 cups of coffee and 3-4 LITERS of diet coke, lol!)
I'll keep an eye on my intake for the next week at least though. Thanks again.
I've noticed that I haven't wanted as much as usual. I think I had two cups of coffee and four cans of diet coke yesterday. (normally drink about 12 cups of coffee and 3-4 LITERS of diet coke, lol!)
I'll keep an eye on my intake for the next week at least though. Thanks again.
Carol said it all, welcome to a great place n great people.
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