fordman_mustang

ok, i have been drinking heavy for about 5 years now, but i have cut down a lot. (i konw 5 years really isn't that long) i was drinking about a 5th of wiskey a day or every 2 days going to work just fine i quit getting hang overs i was single i loved it, now right now im at about a print/5th every friday and saturday night and not drinking much durning the weekdays but i miss it and think about drinking and somimes slip a few shots or beers in. now latley about the last year or so i have been getting this problem, i don't really ever get hung over but i always have a guilty conscience i don't know why and it last the whole day and even the next day some times. and for some reason when i start drinking i can't stop im always the last one standing i have a lot of friends with wives/girlfriends that won't let them hang out with me any more. so i know i need to stop, but does other people get this guilty conscience thing? why does it start what causes it?

thanks

Midas

I'm not quite awake yet, but here are some happy conches for ya.



Welcome to SoberRecovery, by the way. Hang out for a little while, and I'm sure some other nice folks will help answer your questions, in not such a smartypants way.

con·science
n.
1. The awareness of a moral or ethical aspect to one's conduct together with the urge to prefer right over wrong: Let your conscience be your guide.
2. A source of moral or ethical judgment or pronouncement: a document that serves as the nation's conscience.
3. Conformity to one's own sense of right conduct: a person of unflagging conscience.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

fordman_mustang

ok lol i just edited my post but can someone explaine that guilty conscience the next day too me, its crazy even if i sat home alone and drank and didn't call anyone or do anything wrong the whole next day unless i start to drink again im looking over my shoulder and just feel weird, its crazy and im just wondering if its normal

thanks

Midas

Well, I drank heavily for over 10 years, and the paranoia and guilt got rather serious. The psychological backwash caused by alcoholism varies from one individual to the next. Sometimes it's moderate, sometimes it's almost nonexistent, and in other severe cases, the mental side-effects can be debilitating.

In other words, it's normal. Once you do quit, you may actually feel like you're going crazier. But it usually passes within several months to a year. Some adverse effects are not 100% reversible, unfortunately.

fordman_mustang

so this paranoia the next day after drinking is comon its weird why its just starting up after all this time.
my biggest fear about quiting is when i go bowling or go to the beach with friends or somthing and the beer comes out and everyone is having "just a few beers" thats my biggest thing, im guessing its never ok to just have a few right? what do you do im them situations? i have never been the DD i have never been sober or turned down a beer or a drink, it just, as dumb as this sounds kinda scares me feels like im going to be missing out on something.

BTW all day long i have been reading all the post and seaching just incase that gets brought up.

also quit smoking 3 months ago.

Sugasnaps

In my opinion our subconscious plays a heavy role in our conscious. With your drinking somewhere deep inside an alarm is going off and making you aware that you are in danger. Alcoholism is deadly.

Welcome to SR... you have found a really awesome site for great insight and support.

I understand the feeling of "not wanting to miss out". After it dawned on me that I had a problem with alcohol I really became obsessed with trying to figure out what I could do to "fix" my problem. What behaviour I could change, what time of day I could drink, how many I could have, what type of alcohol I would drink... I thought that I just had to alter my behaviour in a certain way that it would fix me and I would go back to just being a casual drinker. I mean, that worked and still works for me with other problems I have had in my life... I figure out what the problem is and then I alter my behaviour in order to get the desired result. Yet, with alcohol, no matter what I changed... the one thing that remained constant... no matter what I did was that I ended up not being able to control the amount of alcohol I consumed once I started drinking it. I just plain couldn't do it.

Anyway, that's a bit of my experience. Keep searching and asking questions... you are in the right place!

Suga

fordman_mustang

i think and have done the same i will just have a beer or 2 then it turns into 12 with shots of wiskey and jager, also it i feel weak beacuse of this i think how come so many people can be social drinkers and i can't do it. anyone else think that? also lastnight i did drink a 5th of rum and right now i have a pint in my freezer, i think when i get home i should pour it out.

aasharon90

Hi, I'm Sharon and I'm an Alcoholic. I'm still having problems fitting in with "them so called normal people." When I got sober in treatment, I was handed tools of sobriety and my first "Desire Chip" . The desire to stop drinking. I had reached my lowest point in my life, desperation. I wanted to get off the merry-go-round I was on or the roller coaster ride of ups and downs of drinking and how it was making me feel. I had to take the suggestions giving to me by changing people, places and things that were associated with drinking in order to stay sober. I had to stay away from the clubs, stay away from my so called friends that drank and partied, glasses, bottles etc. All those things would make me feel uncomfortable so i had to let them go. Change is one of the hardest things we have to do in recovery. But u will see once u have begun to take the steps in recovery, admitting u have a drinking problem, accepting it and believeing Someone or something can help u stay sober than change will become easy for u. I was told early on that I never have to face things alone again. There is always someone here to help u and guide u. Don't be afraid to ask for what u need. Grab the tail coat of someone sober and hold on tight as getting sober will be the ride of ur life with many wonderful rewards waiting for u down the road.

Thanks for letting me share.

Sharon M.
Houston, Tx./ B.R. ,La.
8-11-90

Midas

Congrats on quitting the smokes. That's great! I quit almost 6 mo's ago. So you've been thumbing thru the other threads, huh? Very good. If you haven't already done so, be sure to read the "sticky notes" at the top of the forums, for example; The Scared Sober thread. (Shameless Plug).

Another one is Quitting: What to Expect.

And a good article on PAWS (the not-so-cute withdrawal syndrome);
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

Most "normies" can handle 'just a few' and they know when to stop. Usually. Alcoholics don't know when to stop & can't. When others are partying around you, don't make excuses why you must refuse libations. If I feel pressured, I just blurt out, "I can't tolerate liquor. I'm allergic. It makes me break things." Most people will stop right in their tracks when they hear that line.

OMG!! Allergic to alcohol??? Oh you poor, poor man!!!

Oh yes. It's true. Sad but true.

CarolD

Hi and Welcome!

Please see a doctor before you quit.
Why?
Look at the info Midas posted on
"Quitting what to expect"

Depression is why I quit drinking.
At 2/3 months sober it lifted and has not returned.

AA is where I learned how to stay quit and enjoy it!

fordman_mustang

thanks for all the help and letting me know im not alone, and normies? they people w/o drinking probs?

so it is there a way to find out how to have just a few and what you can have just a few of? or is it a total quit zero, kinda like smoking "never take another puff ever" type deal?

CarolD

Yes...I know it is for me.

It's the 1st drink that restarts my dormant addiction.

Midas

Normies...yep...normal folks that aren't blessed with the insanity.


Some alcoholics (a very small %) can master the "moderation management", but the majority will discourage that route. It just doesn't work. It's best to quit altogether and stay quit. One Day At A Time!

Alcoholism is a progressive disease and a potentially fatal physiological disorder. Continuing to drink can kill you. Suddenly withdrawing can also kill you. Please check with your General Practitioner regarding some very important medical precautions, with respect to your own physical health.

Chy

I know moderation wouldn't work for me. Tried it and failed everytime. For me it was an all or nothing deal. Fact is most people don't drink like we do. You'll have to do your own experimentations to find your answers but just know that, that fear of sobriety, living life without the booze is something we all have the potential to do when we're ready and have had enough. Those guilty feelings... those day after "damn, I did it again".. yeah, pretty demoralizing stuff. You don't have to feel like that anymore. All the best to you.

Sugasnaps

For me... I know I cannot take that first drink because through experience, years of trying and trying... no matter what my "allergy", "addiction" - my disease - means that I will, through no will of my own, turn that one drink into many more drinks as I simply do not have the ability to stop. Much like I cannot breath under water... I cannot drink just one sip of alcohol and stop at just one.

For me my answer to not living in a state of guilt and shame I have to make the choice not to drink alcohol.

Ya know... that's okay with me. Life is so much more than a bottle of booze. There was a time I felt obsessed with the need to live with alcohol in my life. Now I am eternally grateful that obsession has lifted and I see so much more to life than the bottle.

Suga

leviathon

I've tried that myself. I would not drink for years at a time, then I would say ok, I got it under control and I can do this... problem is that one leads to the "urge" and then I am on a downward spiral... how long it takes to become a full out spiral varies, but it is a spiral in any event.

What I am saying is that I have the same reaction to each "first drink" I want more... I have been able to "moderate it" at times, but eventually it overtook me and I fell down. So, for me the answer is clear, don't touch it. Sad, but true I'm not a normie, I have a problem, it is progressive, if I embrace it I must accept the misery that it brings each and every time.

T.