Baldrick versus the Cabernet Sauvignon
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 13
Baldrick versus the Cabernet Sauvignon
Spending the first 25 years of my live alcohol-free – somehow, I had a suspicious feeling about it – my first glasses of red wine were a discovery…
4 years later… I’ve tried to avoid in all ways the only conclusion that I should not avoid: my drinking habits are bringing me to the point from where it is only going downwards…
I’m spooking on this site for long enough to recognise all the clichés…
Looking for excuses to drink, for excuses why I started to drink in the first place, for excuses why I started to drink again after days or weeks of moderation, excuses for why I feel that strange burning sensation in my belly that only disappears when I don’t drink for a couple of days…
If I could buy and sell excuses, I would have been rich by know. But still drunk. I think humans are closer to the ostrich than to the ape in the evolutionary ladder.
Maybe I haven’t gone as far as some of you have, my body tells me I had more than enough... And I've come to the point that it occupies my sorrows, frustrations, fears and future plans… Bad sign.
I fear to miss the thrill, the drive. When I do not drink for a couple of days, or drink moderately, I feel energetic and strong again, bored of everyday reality, and than I'm in the danger-zone...
I tried it before, I failed. I tried it again, I failed again. I know that reading your messages helps, so maybe, participating from time to time, helps harder.
Ok, new start, second day. It’s becoming spring and I want to feel the spring-feeling like I used to, before being numb…
Baldrick
4 years later… I’ve tried to avoid in all ways the only conclusion that I should not avoid: my drinking habits are bringing me to the point from where it is only going downwards…
I’m spooking on this site for long enough to recognise all the clichés…
Looking for excuses to drink, for excuses why I started to drink in the first place, for excuses why I started to drink again after days or weeks of moderation, excuses for why I feel that strange burning sensation in my belly that only disappears when I don’t drink for a couple of days…
If I could buy and sell excuses, I would have been rich by know. But still drunk. I think humans are closer to the ostrich than to the ape in the evolutionary ladder.
Maybe I haven’t gone as far as some of you have, my body tells me I had more than enough... And I've come to the point that it occupies my sorrows, frustrations, fears and future plans… Bad sign.
I fear to miss the thrill, the drive. When I do not drink for a couple of days, or drink moderately, I feel energetic and strong again, bored of everyday reality, and than I'm in the danger-zone...
I tried it before, I failed. I tried it again, I failed again. I know that reading your messages helps, so maybe, participating from time to time, helps harder.
Ok, new start, second day. It’s becoming spring and I want to feel the spring-feeling like I used to, before being numb…
Baldrick
alcohol-kicked-my butt
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: oregon
Posts: 191
hi baldrick--
Yeah ive tried and failed alot of times but i dont give up--that burning in the stomabh...oh that will get much worse--if you want to know how much read my thread on newcomers to recovery--anyway--good luck,man--i think you are a man--not sure from your post--how is belgium these days ?
Laura
Yeah ive tried and failed alot of times but i dont give up--that burning in the stomabh...oh that will get much worse--if you want to know how much read my thread on newcomers to recovery--anyway--good luck,man--i think you are a man--not sure from your post--how is belgium these days ?
Laura
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 13
Yes, I'm a man. Calling myself Baldrick to refer to legendary stupidity of the Baldrick-guy in the Blackadder series. Messing with my health - for a childhood cancer-survivor - it's like spitting fortune in the face...
Thanks clintlora. I read your story. That's the kind of stories I try to remind myselve of...
But when you feel bad, bored or everyone around you is drinking and they expect you to...
I drink one glass...life is more glamouress and... 'yes, maybe it isn't healthy, but...','maybe that's a problem within a few years, not know...'
And I'm lost...
For know I feel ok. But I'm not sure on what I will tell my friends and family...
They don't realise I have problem. Some of them, I suspect, may be in the same boat as me... Before you know, you only compare your drinking habbits with people that drink as much or more...
Telling people i quitted drinking 'for ever' is not easy. They'll ask why. It's admitting in public you can't control it anymore. You're labelled. I know it's the truth, but for know: it's a truth that is quite well hidden.
So I'm still thinking how to deal with that issue.
Belgium? It's still the good old centre of civilisation, of course... ;-)
Thanks clintlora. I read your story. That's the kind of stories I try to remind myselve of...
But when you feel bad, bored or everyone around you is drinking and they expect you to...
I drink one glass...life is more glamouress and... 'yes, maybe it isn't healthy, but...','maybe that's a problem within a few years, not know...'
And I'm lost...
For know I feel ok. But I'm not sure on what I will tell my friends and family...
They don't realise I have problem. Some of them, I suspect, may be in the same boat as me... Before you know, you only compare your drinking habbits with people that drink as much or more...
Telling people i quitted drinking 'for ever' is not easy. They'll ask why. It's admitting in public you can't control it anymore. You're labelled. I know it's the truth, but for know: it's a truth that is quite well hidden.
So I'm still thinking how to deal with that issue.
Belgium? It's still the good old centre of civilisation, of course... ;-)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 14
When I quit I told one or two trusted friends that I am an alcoholic. That way I had some support when we were out. When I have asked for a perrier I get 'Oh go on, have a pint' but then one of my friends will say 'Actually, I quite fancy a perrier myself' and the awkward moment has passed.
I am also fortunate in that I have lost about 2 stone since I stopped drinking so I can always make out that I am refusing a drink because I want to stay slim.
Most of the time though I just say that I stopped drinking because one glass of wine always turned into the whole bottle, one can of beer into a six pack etc and most people just leave it at that.
I am also fortunate in that I have lost about 2 stone since I stopped drinking so I can always make out that I am refusing a drink because I want to stay slim.
Most of the time though I just say that I stopped drinking because one glass of wine always turned into the whole bottle, one can of beer into a six pack etc and most people just leave it at that.
alcohol-kicked-my butt
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: oregon
Posts: 191
Hi Baldrick
you know i have to say i cant know what to say about your fear of people finding out--my alcoholism went downhill so hard and so fast--i didnt have time to hide it--EVERYONE knew--so i dont know about what to tell family,friends,etc--i hope your doing well today--take care
Laura
you know i have to say i cant know what to say about your fear of people finding out--my alcoholism went downhill so hard and so fast--i didnt have time to hide it--EVERYONE knew--so i dont know about what to tell family,friends,etc--i hope your doing well today--take care
Laura
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