New Problem
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi there lionfish 
Welcome to SR
I guess you know the answer to your question, the real question is , do you want to quit drinking?
if you do, put it down, get to a meeting, and let the girl sort out her own sobriety.
OR
You could just have 1 or 2 and see how that works for you
HUGX
Lee
Welcome to SRI guess you know the answer to your question, the real question is , do you want to quit drinking?
if you do, put it down, get to a meeting, and let the girl sort out her own sobriety.
OR
You could just have 1 or 2 and see how that works for you
HUGX
Lee
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 305
Hi Scott,
I think AA says something about this, stay on your own for a period of time. Someone else here with that knowledge can help you.
However, I think that the focus should be on you and your recovery right now. Somehow things fall into place when you do that. If she is drinking too much in your opinion, don't put that added stress onto yourself. Take things for what they are. You are very important. Your health is number 1, ya can't get anywhere without it. You are trying real hard to change your path for the better in life. While you're taking one step forward, make sure you don't take two steps back, OK?
Good Luck. We're always here to be your soundboard!
Etimee
I think AA says something about this, stay on your own for a period of time. Someone else here with that knowledge can help you.
However, I think that the focus should be on you and your recovery right now. Somehow things fall into place when you do that. If she is drinking too much in your opinion, don't put that added stress onto yourself. Take things for what they are. You are very important. Your health is number 1, ya can't get anywhere without it. You are trying real hard to change your path for the better in life. While you're taking one step forward, make sure you don't take two steps back, OK?
Good Luck. We're always here to be your soundboard!
Etimee
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Scott,
There are a whole heap of reasons why romantic relationships and early recovery don't mix, but you have found a big one. Right now, this girl is your match and this fact alone will make it harder for you to change because if you change and she doesn't, she will no longer be your match. But if you don't change, you won't be "right back where you started" because you will have never left.
I believe one of the reasons A.A. and N.A. discourage this kind of relationship in early recovery is because you don't (and can't) know what you will be like after a year of the growth that becomes possible in recovery.
Perhaps not the suggestion you wanted to hear.
One Love, One Heart,
Tony
There are a whole heap of reasons why romantic relationships and early recovery don't mix, but you have found a big one. Right now, this girl is your match and this fact alone will make it harder for you to change because if you change and she doesn't, she will no longer be your match. But if you don't change, you won't be "right back where you started" because you will have never left.
I believe one of the reasons A.A. and N.A. discourage this kind of relationship in early recovery is because you don't (and can't) know what you will be like after a year of the growth that becomes possible in recovery.
Perhaps not the suggestion you wanted to hear.
One Love, One Heart,
Tony
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Newark,DE
Posts: 404
Hi Scott,
I would suggest that you not write her off. If she has already been to rehab, then she, too, must want to try to stay relatively clean. I would have an open and frank discusstion with her about your goals, and see how she feels about it. It could be the best thing to happen to you.
I know the benefits of a loving and supportive partner.
Lastly, follow your heart. Deep inside, you already know whats good for you, after all, you are here talking openly to us.
Good luck!
S
I would suggest that you not write her off. If she has already been to rehab, then she, too, must want to try to stay relatively clean. I would have an open and frank discusstion with her about your goals, and see how she feels about it. It could be the best thing to happen to you.
I know the benefits of a loving and supportive partner.
Lastly, follow your heart. Deep inside, you already know whats good for you, after all, you are here talking openly to us.
Good luck!
S
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