Winelover
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 305
Winelover
Just realized today is Monday, tough day for you! Kinda like a hump day, in the clean sense of the word. 
Thinking of you and hope you're feeling OK with the world today.
Hang out here tonight if you can!
Etimee
Thinking of you and hope you're feeling OK with the world today.
Hang out here tonight if you can!
Etimee
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
What a wonderful, thoughtful person you are, Etimee.
I woke up miserable, but I hopped the subway into Paris to go to an AA meeting. It was the best thing I could have done.
I was chosen to read "How it Works". It was very weird to actually say the 12 steps out loud. The person who was chosen on the spot to share was a visitor from New York, and as if this meeting were planned JUST for me (I know, it's the selfish alcoholic voice), the visitor talked about how it was difficult for him to fully surrender to the program. He talked about how much better his life was once he finally admitted he had a problem and was willing to whatever it took to fix it.
I can't go into everything that was said, but every word touched me more than any other person that I've listened to. We didn't even have similar backgrounds, just that one painful difficulty of accepting powerlessness.
I've been reading so much about alcoholism and the personalities that ususally go with it, and I could be a text book example. One of the ladies who shared afterward said something that may be in the big book somewhere but I thought I'd share it with you:
"The gift of desperation leads to the gift of sobriety."
I am certainly feeling the misery of desperation so this quote struck me very personally. My HP is being very obvious now since I've been so blind to the subtle hints for years. Anyway, I'm feeling really good today and certainly won't drink, but I'm also feeling a little depressed because I think I probably am an alcoholic. I think I'd rather be a "mozzerella liver sundae" (per Yank in Holland).
Thanks for looking out for me today!!
I woke up miserable, but I hopped the subway into Paris to go to an AA meeting. It was the best thing I could have done.
I was chosen to read "How it Works". It was very weird to actually say the 12 steps out loud. The person who was chosen on the spot to share was a visitor from New York, and as if this meeting were planned JUST for me (I know, it's the selfish alcoholic voice), the visitor talked about how it was difficult for him to fully surrender to the program. He talked about how much better his life was once he finally admitted he had a problem and was willing to whatever it took to fix it.
I can't go into everything that was said, but every word touched me more than any other person that I've listened to. We didn't even have similar backgrounds, just that one painful difficulty of accepting powerlessness.
I've been reading so much about alcoholism and the personalities that ususally go with it, and I could be a text book example. One of the ladies who shared afterward said something that may be in the big book somewhere but I thought I'd share it with you:
"The gift of desperation leads to the gift of sobriety."
I am certainly feeling the misery of desperation so this quote struck me very personally. My HP is being very obvious now since I've been so blind to the subtle hints for years. Anyway, I'm feeling really good today and certainly won't drink, but I'm also feeling a little depressed because I think I probably am an alcoholic. I think I'd rather be a "mozzerella liver sundae" (per Yank in Holland).
Thanks for looking out for me today!!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
From my friend Carol87
I would rather go through life sober,
believing I am an alcoholic,
than go through life drunk
trying to convince myself that I am not.
Jeep in focus....
I would rather go through life sober,
believing I am an alcoholic,
than go through life drunk
trying to convince myself that I am not.
Jeep in focus....
Guest
Posts: n/a
We didn't even have similar backgrounds, just that one painful difficulty of accepting powerlessness.
The very first person I ever identified with at a meeting was a speaker who happened to be a former nun...Lord knows we had very little in common...except for our love of wine...she got drunk on the wine hidden in the sacresty of the convent...I got drunk on gallons of chablis!
After the meeting, I followed the crowd up to thank her (it was the first time I had ever done that)...she looked me dead in the eyes, and must have seen the pain of the "still sick and suffering alcoholic" because she put her arms around me while saying, "God bless you." I still get chills when I think about Sister Peggy and that "spiritual awakening" she aroused in me.
Yes, I'm sure the speaker from New York was there for a very specific reason:
...every word touched me more than any other person that I've listened to.
Good for YOU for taking that step and making the effort! 
Living and Loving.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Saratoga, California
Posts: 475
Winelover,
Congrats on day 5!!! You are doing awesome and I so remember my first time I read "How it works" to everyone. It's been such a gift to me to beable to read your posts and progress and yeah, even your disheartening experiences - they all help to hear.
Hella proud of your progress!
Suga
Congrats on day 5!!! You are doing awesome and I so remember my first time I read "How it works" to everyone. It's been such a gift to me to beable to read your posts and progress and yeah, even your disheartening experiences - they all help to hear.
Hella proud of your progress!
Suga
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Thats fantastic WL! it so often happens for me too, that the meeting I wasnt going to, but do, is where my HP has put the person I so very much need to hear at that precise time !
So glad you are hanging in there
HUGX
Lee
So glad you are hanging in there
HUGX
Lee
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