introducing myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ontario
Posts: 2
introducing myself
Hello. I am new to this forum. Well actually, I have been reading the stories and posts for awhile now, but haven't really posted anything before. I was starting to feel like a voyeur so now I have decided to introduce myself and tell a little about me and what this site has done for me.
I am a 37 yr/old single mom. I was married for 10 yrs to an alcoholic, drug user, sex addict, physical abuser. I left 5 yrs ago. Not because of the afore mentioned, but because i fell out of love. Or maybe it is because of these things that I fell out of love. I walked straight into another relationship with a man whom I've since learned the termed was a dry-drunk. With him, I got my greatest gift, which is my son.
Myself, I was a problem drinker and a little more than an occasional drug user. I say problem drinker because I never got the chance to have it escalate further. I got pregnant for my son and was intelligent enough to know that I had to quit everything to have a healthy baby.
I was lucky because after 9 mos of being sober, I had no desire to go back to the drinking or drugs. I used to think while I was pregnant that after I had my son, I would hook up with my friends for a night and cheers myself for being a new mom. Once I saw my son, the only reason I wanted to see my old friends was to show off my bundle of joy.
I currently dont really have any addictive people in my life. Unless you count my brother whom I very rarely speak to. I just hear the horror stories of his life through the grapevine. But I have found that this site is helping me none the less. I am beginning to understand why I went through what I did with my ex's. And what I was doing to myself. I truely believe and have from the beginning, that I was given the gift of my son to save my life. If not for him, I believe that my parents would be grieving my lost life right now.
It took 2 1/2 years after my son was born before I would have another drink, and then it was 6 mos after that before I had my next. Now, I can go out once or twice a month, have a couple of drinks, go home and leave it at that. I will not let anything come between me and my son. Maybe I grew up or maybe it's just plain stubborness. Either way, I'm very happy.
I just wanted to let everyone on here know how reading your stories has helped me today.
1. I have a major control issue. I like everything around me to be neat and tidy. I have an older sister who is a financial disaster. I have tried to help her with budgetting and countless other ways. Through here, I have learned about the 3 C's. I no longer feel it is my duty to make sure her rent is paid. Of course I care if she gets evicted, but I have learned that she is 41 and has to take care of herself and I have to take care of myself and my son.
2. I have this thing where I have to be perfect. I am currently taking classes to better myself and to keep me busy, since my son is still young yet. I no longer feel that I have to get the highest grade in the class and if I hand in a project that is less than perfect, the walls wont cave in around me. I'm learning that I am human and not expected to be perfect.
3. I have found an inner peace through the love that is expressed here by total strangers. I have always felt like there was something missing in my life and I couldnt put my finger on it. I now know that it was peace of mind. I am finding that I'm becoming a better parent. I am learning how to deal with my son in a more positive manner and I dont yell anywheres near as much as I used to. (not that I have ever been an abusive parent, but 3 yr olds can be trying at times)
So with this being said, I just wanted to thank everyone on here for sharing your stories and being open and honest and not judgemental. Everyone here is a major inspiration to me and if you all can get through what your going through, then there is nothing out there that can hold me back.
I wish everyone luck with their sobriety and hope the new year brings peace, happiness and joy to you and your families.
All my love, MKH
I am a 37 yr/old single mom. I was married for 10 yrs to an alcoholic, drug user, sex addict, physical abuser. I left 5 yrs ago. Not because of the afore mentioned, but because i fell out of love. Or maybe it is because of these things that I fell out of love. I walked straight into another relationship with a man whom I've since learned the termed was a dry-drunk. With him, I got my greatest gift, which is my son.
Myself, I was a problem drinker and a little more than an occasional drug user. I say problem drinker because I never got the chance to have it escalate further. I got pregnant for my son and was intelligent enough to know that I had to quit everything to have a healthy baby.
I was lucky because after 9 mos of being sober, I had no desire to go back to the drinking or drugs. I used to think while I was pregnant that after I had my son, I would hook up with my friends for a night and cheers myself for being a new mom. Once I saw my son, the only reason I wanted to see my old friends was to show off my bundle of joy.
I currently dont really have any addictive people in my life. Unless you count my brother whom I very rarely speak to. I just hear the horror stories of his life through the grapevine. But I have found that this site is helping me none the less. I am beginning to understand why I went through what I did with my ex's. And what I was doing to myself. I truely believe and have from the beginning, that I was given the gift of my son to save my life. If not for him, I believe that my parents would be grieving my lost life right now.
It took 2 1/2 years after my son was born before I would have another drink, and then it was 6 mos after that before I had my next. Now, I can go out once or twice a month, have a couple of drinks, go home and leave it at that. I will not let anything come between me and my son. Maybe I grew up or maybe it's just plain stubborness. Either way, I'm very happy.
I just wanted to let everyone on here know how reading your stories has helped me today.
1. I have a major control issue. I like everything around me to be neat and tidy. I have an older sister who is a financial disaster. I have tried to help her with budgetting and countless other ways. Through here, I have learned about the 3 C's. I no longer feel it is my duty to make sure her rent is paid. Of course I care if she gets evicted, but I have learned that she is 41 and has to take care of herself and I have to take care of myself and my son.
2. I have this thing where I have to be perfect. I am currently taking classes to better myself and to keep me busy, since my son is still young yet. I no longer feel that I have to get the highest grade in the class and if I hand in a project that is less than perfect, the walls wont cave in around me. I'm learning that I am human and not expected to be perfect.
3. I have found an inner peace through the love that is expressed here by total strangers. I have always felt like there was something missing in my life and I couldnt put my finger on it. I now know that it was peace of mind. I am finding that I'm becoming a better parent. I am learning how to deal with my son in a more positive manner and I dont yell anywheres near as much as I used to. (not that I have ever been an abusive parent, but 3 yr olds can be trying at times)
So with this being said, I just wanted to thank everyone on here for sharing your stories and being open and honest and not judgemental. Everyone here is a major inspiration to me and if you all can get through what your going through, then there is nothing out there that can hold me back.
I wish everyone luck with their sobriety and hope the new year brings peace, happiness and joy to you and your families.
All my love, MKH
What progress you have made! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: ontario
Posts: 2
thank you everyone for welcoming me aboard. I know it's kinda silly me being here without an addiction, but I just wanted everyone to know than your all helping in so many other aspects of life. Although I do have a best friend who has 2 kids and is with an alcoholic, so maybe I can help her along too. It's nice to know that forums such as this, and people like you are available for help. Again, many thanks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: With Good Spirit
Posts: 378
MKH, I don't get over here as often as I should. Your story was very inspirational and I want to say WELCOME. You will find an amzing amount of love and support here at SR.
It sounds to me, like you are committed to working on your life. Once we do this, only the best is yet to come.
Blessings
Hopefloats
It sounds to me, like you are committed to working on your life. Once we do this, only the best is yet to come.
Blessings
Hopefloats
Living and Loving.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Saratoga, California
Posts: 475
I'd say Hunter is one very lucky lil' boy. I'm so glad you are here and that you shared your story. Makes this alcoholic feel good that the collective we helped you out. It just goes to show that the more we're all unique the more we're all the same. It is that sameness that draws us together. This place has some really good life-lessons that apply to anyone - alcoholic or not.
Welcome!
Suga
I'm so glad you are here and that you shared your story. Makes this alcoholic feel good that the collective we helped you out. It just goes to show that the more we're all unique the more we're all the same. It is that sameness that draws us together. This place has some really good life-lessons that apply to anyone - alcoholic or not.Welcome!
Suga
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