juniperskye

hi everyone I am an alcoholic but i have been doing something strange lately to take the place of my drinking, I have been stealing things like makeup and jewelry from stores. i just got caught and arrested for the second time and i don't know what to do. I feel like this bottom is worse than any other i have ever felt befopre. after i got caught on thursday night i relapsed. I don't know what to do its like i was addicted to stealing, i didn't enjoy the things i was taking or even wear them because i felt too guilty to but i felt better after i took something. Im scared i have ruined my life by making such stupid choices and everything and i don't know where to go from here, has anyone here had experience with anything like this?? going from one addiction to another?? please help!!! I feel so alone and i don't know what to do anymore. I have been talking to my sponsor and have been going to meetings but i have never felt so down and such self loathing. I don't even feel comfortable being myself anymore. thanks for listening

Little Missy

Good morning ((Juniper)) Welcome to SR!!

I have recently gone through the same thing. You know how the lip stick keeps falling through the holes in the cart, then you kick it down the aisle. So, I put it in my purse. Then, my crazy brain told me that would be the perfect excuse if I got caught taking it. I didn't get caught, but my serenity took a major hit because of it.

I had to make it right, so I went back and paid for it. They thanked me and really appreciated the honesty. Weird huh!?!

I have also been know to lose thousands of dollars gambling. I don't recommend that one either!! LOL It seems like I'm always looking for some high. I always want more or everything.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Which means, for me,
I BETTER FERTILIZE MY OWN LAWN!!

You are not alone, just do the next right thing!!
Hugs,
Missy

Phinneas

((((juniperskye))))

A dear friend of mine in recovery's husband went through a stealing phase about a year ago. They are both sober 20 years +. He lost a long held job over it and was arrested. I can tell you what he did. He got back to the basics of AA - meetings, getting honest with his sponsor and others, doing the steps, prayer, meditiation, service, etc. He was able to understand the compulsion, work through the issues and find serenity.

You're on the right path, juniper, and I encourage you to stay with the program of AA, work with your sponsor and go to as many meetings as you can. Also, writing and counceling are good ways to work through core issues.

We are not bad people trying to get good. We are sick people trying to get well. This is a cunning, baffeling, powerful disease and it can manifest in many ways.

hugs,

phinny

tink360

Stealing was a big deal for me. i used to steal for drugs and then i started doing it on my own for money. it wasent hard to start but it was a tough habit to break. Every now and then i find myself slipping something into my sleeve or my purse but most of the time i put it back. sometimes i walk out with it and give it away to someone. I have a tendency to steal for the thrill and not because i need things. its like wanting to feel that edge that drugs give you but without doing the drugs. its the whole replasing one addiction with another. try doing something you like to do. Make projects out of things and keep your mind busy.

juniperskye

i feel so guilty about relapsing and getting arrested i can't even sleep anymore. i really want to drink but when i did last time that didn't even feel good (at first i mean) anymore. i wake up about a thousand times during the night. i keep wondering what is going to happen when i go to court. i feel like i am this horrible criminal and i am going to jail. I want to cry but i am even too sad to even do that it seems. i just feel empty. i just wish i could sleep but i can't and when i wake up seeing that its like 6am i am bummed that the night is over and i am awake and i have to start thinking about this stuff again. i see all of these people with happy lives in the rooms of aa that have overcome so many things but it just seems so impossible for me right now.

splendra

((js)))

Get yourself to more meetings hang with the winners and do what they do...

FriendofBill

Turn it over to God and let the outcome be what it will be.

In the meantime, start doing the foorwork as suggested above. Thats called doing Gods will. When you do Gods will, you know you cant go wrong.

Miracles happen when we let go do the steering...so get on your bike, and start peddling!