What exactly is a sponsor
I choose to live
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Antwerp (Belgium)
Posts: 390
What exactly is a sponsor
What excactly is a sponsor....
You know in a way I'm too proud to ask one and in another way I don't know exactly what it means...
Still I have someone in the back of my mind ...
What's her function and what's mine
You know in a way I'm too proud to ask one and in another way I don't know exactly what it means...
Still I have someone in the back of my mind ...
What's her function and what's mine
You're never alone!!
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,191
Hi Aries!!
Don't know if I have met you yet.. Meet alot of great people here
You might get real good answers to this question if you post in either Narcotics Anonymous, or in the Alcoholics Anonymous forums. I'm sure people will answer you here, but you may get more answers there.
I can tell you that a sponsor is a person that helps guide you through the 12 steps. They are also someone to call that can help yopu through situations, that are a bit sticky, and not so easy for you to handle, someone for you to talk to, without a biast opinion. A sponsor in my opinion should really be someone that has been in the program for a long time ( I'm sure they have requirements and someonme will be sure to post them)..
Other than that, I'll leave it up to an AA or NA person to tell you.
They really know best.
I'm glad to meet you though, ( if I haven't already, lol)...
Have a great day..
Love, Becky
Don't know if I have met you yet.. Meet alot of great people here
You might get real good answers to this question if you post in either Narcotics Anonymous, or in the Alcoholics Anonymous forums. I'm sure people will answer you here, but you may get more answers there.
I can tell you that a sponsor is a person that helps guide you through the 12 steps. They are also someone to call that can help yopu through situations, that are a bit sticky, and not so easy for you to handle, someone for you to talk to, without a biast opinion. A sponsor in my opinion should really be someone that has been in the program for a long time ( I'm sure they have requirements and someonme will be sure to post them)..
Other than that, I'll leave it up to an AA or NA person to tell you.
They really know best.
I'm glad to meet you though, ( if I haven't already, lol)...
Have a great day..
Love, Becky
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hey there, Stefanie--Angelgirl is mostly right. A sponsor is meant to be a guide through the 12 steps of AA or NA. There really isn't any requirement to become a sponsor, although most people wait to sponsor someone until they have worked all of the steps. In my understanding, the 12th step is where sponsorship comes in. Of course, I am still working on the 10th step and my sponsor has said I am ready to sponsor someone else. A sponsor should be someone you feel you can trust and who you can relate to.
The best way to find a sponsor is to go to LOTS of meetings, listen to what people say, and look for someone whose story is similar to yours and who seems to have a good, solid program of recovery. Then you just ask! My sponsor had us get together and talk about what we both wanted out of the relationship, how she worked the program, what her expectations were and then she agreed to sponsor me.
An important thing to remember about a sponsor is they are human, too. They will make mistakes, and if things are really not working out, you can always find another one. But you should always give them a fair shot first.
Any other questions? There is a good pamphlet available at meetings in my area called, "Sponsorship, Questions and Answers," or something like that. You might look at your meetings and see if they have the same thing. I think it would be a good resource for you.
Glad you are still hanging in there, Stef....
Hugs--
The best way to find a sponsor is to go to LOTS of meetings, listen to what people say, and look for someone whose story is similar to yours and who seems to have a good, solid program of recovery. Then you just ask! My sponsor had us get together and talk about what we both wanted out of the relationship, how she worked the program, what her expectations were and then she agreed to sponsor me.
An important thing to remember about a sponsor is they are human, too. They will make mistakes, and if things are really not working out, you can always find another one. But you should always give them a fair shot first.
Any other questions? There is a good pamphlet available at meetings in my area called, "Sponsorship, Questions and Answers," or something like that. You might look at your meetings and see if they have the same thing. I think it would be a good resource for you.
Glad you are still hanging in there, Stef....
Hugs--
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Charlotte,NC
Posts: 167
Good question Aries and I'll be curious as to see what the the responses are.
I started to go to AA meetings 3+ months ago and have yet to get a sponsor.
My main beef with AA is the attitude that exists that you need a sponsor pronto. The moment I walked through the doors of AA people were cramming the need for a sponsor down my throat. I almost quit the program because of this relentless pressure to be accountable to someone or else I'll go on a binge immediately. I have yet to "go out" as they say and do not find a need to find a sponsor in the near future.
That being said, I have asked many different people who have been in the program for years the same exact question. And from my understanding, a sponsor is basically a Big Brother or Big Sister whatever gender you may be.
If you have questions about working the steps or the significance of them, they are there to advise and recommend things. If you have questions about personal issues that you can not bring up in a meeting (such as sex), they once again are there to advise and see you through a dilemma.
Most of all a sponsor is not there to be your best buddy. This was told to me by a very wise man last week. Look for someone who is not afraid to tell you when your thinking is screwed up. The screwed up thoughts that could lead you to use again. Look for someone who is sincere in sponsoring an individual and not someone who just wants to talk about it over a cup of coffee with other AAs. Choose your sponsor carefully because afterall they are as sick as we are. They might be able to quote the Big Book left and right, but when it comes down to it they are a drunk just like the rest of us.
That's my take on an AA sponsor. I don't know what you are addicted to so NA sponsor views could be different. Good luck.
I started to go to AA meetings 3+ months ago and have yet to get a sponsor.
My main beef with AA is the attitude that exists that you need a sponsor pronto. The moment I walked through the doors of AA people were cramming the need for a sponsor down my throat. I almost quit the program because of this relentless pressure to be accountable to someone or else I'll go on a binge immediately. I have yet to "go out" as they say and do not find a need to find a sponsor in the near future.
That being said, I have asked many different people who have been in the program for years the same exact question. And from my understanding, a sponsor is basically a Big Brother or Big Sister whatever gender you may be.
If you have questions about working the steps or the significance of them, they are there to advise and recommend things. If you have questions about personal issues that you can not bring up in a meeting (such as sex), they once again are there to advise and see you through a dilemma.
Most of all a sponsor is not there to be your best buddy. This was told to me by a very wise man last week. Look for someone who is not afraid to tell you when your thinking is screwed up. The screwed up thoughts that could lead you to use again. Look for someone who is sincere in sponsoring an individual and not someone who just wants to talk about it over a cup of coffee with other AAs. Choose your sponsor carefully because afterall they are as sick as we are. They might be able to quote the Big Book left and right, but when it comes down to it they are a drunk just like the rest of us.
That's my take on an AA sponsor. I don't know what you are addicted to so NA sponsor views could be different. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
A sponsor is someone who will take you through the steps as they were taught. As mentioned not a best friend not a personal companion but someone who is there to help you during difficult times and how to work the program through the steps. If you want to work the program it's highly suggested you find a sponsor. A sponsor should have a few years of sobriety, have worked the steps with a sponsor and has the time to do it.
I tried doing it myself in early recovery and it just didn't go well. I remain teachable today because of my sponsor and realize she's got the ability to offer me a different perspective when my stinking thinking kicks in. That's what I needed someone to teach me how it works.
I tried doing it myself in early recovery and it just didn't go well. I remain teachable today because of my sponsor and realize she's got the ability to offer me a different perspective when my stinking thinking kicks in. That's what I needed someone to teach me how it works.
Your Distant Friend
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 255
function of sponsor
primary) someone to help you with your step work
secondary) someone to reach out to
you can't depend on your sponsor to help you stay clean; the primary function of your sponsor is to guide you along as you do the 12 steps.
secondary) someone to reach out to
you can't depend on your sponsor to help you stay clean; the primary function of your sponsor is to guide you along as you do the 12 steps.
alconaut
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Motor City
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by ARIES
What excactly is a sponsor....
When I started going to AA a few years ago (guess I went once a week for a few months), I actively pursued trying to find a sponsor, with no luck. I think that's one of the reasons AA turned me off, and still does to this day.
I'm not saying by any means that you will have the same experience I did. Chip went to his first meeting a few days ago, and got a "chip". I'm thinking, "What's that?" I never got one.
I wonder if the quality of meetings differ depending on where you attend. For instance, a more affluent area where more money is tossed in the pot, as opposed to somewhere where poverty reigns for the most part.
Anyway Aries, I'm glad you're thinking outside the box and seeking some outside help.
Best of luck to you. I've heard that sponsors can be real lifesavers, and committed to one's journey through recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Stefanie, Welcome, glad you are here!
Curious, how do you know you don't want to work the steps, if you have never tried?
They changed my life, completely. The old way did not work for me.
Hope to see you around!
Tom
Curious, how do you know you don't want to work the steps, if you have never tried?
They changed my life, completely. The old way did not work for me.
Hope to see you around!
Tom
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Lancaster, NY
Posts: 90
Originally Posted by ARIES
I don't want to work the steps....I'll work my own steps...Thanks anyhow.
Be sure to let us know how that goes for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I choose to live
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Antwerp (Belgium)
Posts: 390
Originally Posted by 1_day@_a_time
Stefanie, Welcome, glad you are here!
Curious, how do you know you don't want to work the steps, if you have never tried?
They changed my life, completely. The old way did not work for me.
Hope to see you around!
Tom
Curious, how do you know you don't want to work the steps, if you have never tried?
They changed my life, completely. The old way did not work for me.
Hope to see you around!
Tom
I CAN TELL U THAT I TRIED...THERE EVEN WAS A TIME THAT I WAS ON A TABLE EVERYNIGHT...BUT HEY THIS IS BELGIUM AND I TOLD MYSELF NEVER TO STEP IN SUCH A GROUP NOMORE...IF YOU PHONE TO THE AA NUMBER ON A SUNDAY YOU GET A COMPLETELY F***ING DRUNK ON THE LINE ...AND SO ON AND SO ON...THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY ANYHOW LOVE FROM STEFANIE
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