I want to use
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: VALLEY CENTER, KS
Posts: 196
Angel I hope everything is OK. I have family that has a lot of argument and I am not looking forward to the family dinner tonight. stay strong, maybe get some exercise. Exercise for me is the best way to take the edge off a stressfull day.
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Gobble, Gobble
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: california
Posts: 236
Good morning
Good morning Angel, How are you doing today? Yesterday was just not a good day was it?? How did you do by the end of the day? Stay strong, keep your willpower going. Take care and know you've got a lot of us pulling for you...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
The words of everyone here was so heartfelt and beautiful. Thanks for all of the support and encouragement from all of my truly wonderful friends. I made it through the night clean and sober. I tried to sleep but couldn't so I just tossed and turned all night. I felt so much better this morning. I'm sure I would not have felt this good if I did decide to pick up last night.
It's Friday so I have to watch my triggers especially closely today and tomorrow. But, I feel pretty good that I made it through that tough situation without using.
((((((((((Big Hugs))))))))))))))))
I have some great friends on here!!!!
It's Friday so I have to watch my triggers especially closely today and tomorrow. But, I feel pretty good that I made it through that tough situation without using.
((((((((((Big Hugs))))))))))))))))
I have some great friends on here!!!!
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by AngelHugs
I am having such a bad night and I really have a desire to use. I am trying to play the tape all the way to the end but it isn't working well right now. I was around my mom all day today and really got into a huge fight with her. I just drove off and left.
My head is driving me crazy today.
I am just trying to make it thru tonight.
My head is driving me crazy today.
I am just trying to make it thru tonight.
Paul
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
Another rough night.....it didn't start off rough.
I took my sister out for a nice dinner at a good restaurant. I ordered a big steak and a diet pepsi. We had a good time. So then I came home to drop her off and my mom said she needed to go to "the store". i went with her and she ended up at a drug dealers house. my uncle was in the car and they both took off and left me there in the car alone. This place is scary because it is just so dark...it is nowhere that I wanted to be. I got so upset so i was going to leave but they ran out to the car.
I argued with my mom the whole way home.......we were just in an all out screaming match.....but I should not have argued with her because she was high........
I was so angry that I just wanted to go to a bar and get drunk.......BUT I STAYED SOBER.......
SIGH.....It was hard, but i made it through that.
My mom is a huge trigger for me...She just found out that she has two spots on her lungs which might be lung cancer so I'm trying to be supportive. But it is so hard to be supportive to her when I'm trying to stay clean and sober and she is still in active addiction. All I can do is pray for her. It is out of my hands.
Love,
Angel
I took my sister out for a nice dinner at a good restaurant. I ordered a big steak and a diet pepsi. We had a good time. So then I came home to drop her off and my mom said she needed to go to "the store". i went with her and she ended up at a drug dealers house. my uncle was in the car and they both took off and left me there in the car alone. This place is scary because it is just so dark...it is nowhere that I wanted to be. I got so upset so i was going to leave but they ran out to the car.
I argued with my mom the whole way home.......we were just in an all out screaming match.....but I should not have argued with her because she was high........
I was so angry that I just wanted to go to a bar and get drunk.......BUT I STAYED SOBER.......
SIGH.....It was hard, but i made it through that.
My mom is a huge trigger for me...She just found out that she has two spots on her lungs which might be lung cancer so I'm trying to be supportive. But it is so hard to be supportive to her when I'm trying to stay clean and sober and she is still in active addiction. All I can do is pray for her. It is out of my hands.
Love,
Angel
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
It is rough but I have to put myself first. What good can I be to anyone if I can't stay clean. But by the grace of God, I have managed to put together 11 days of sobriety. And it does feel great!
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Angel, I'm glad you managed to stay sober through a difficult time. I can relate. My Mother and I used to go around and around. I can find an excuse to drink any given day. There always will be a reason. Not acting on them is what is key. Now, when I have a problem, drinking doesn't even enter into my mind as an option. It does get easier, but it takes some work to get there.
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