hopealwayz

My college classes are starting next week and I'm so nervous! I don't know why I am full of fear. I have to get at least a 3.0 GPA for the semester and I am trying to believe in myself. I have had a very rough year with my addiction and I almost failed out, but I am still in there with another opportunity. I want to do well and I know that I have to stay clean and sober to do the best I can.

I may not be around as often when I go back to school, but my friends here will always be in my heart.

Love,
Angel

candy39

It's the first step to want to stay clean and sober but it takes learning to deal with issues, problems, situations, relationships, fear, disappointments, etc in a whole new way and that takes a lot of recovery on your part. It takes faith and knowlege. You have to take the time out to come on line, read recovery books like one day at a time. They say that 80% of what you hear or learn in a day will be forgotten. Thats why it takes time reading over and over and over and talking over and over to learn new ways. Please take the time out, it's needed to do or read talk to something or someone toward your recovery. It's the only way to keep your mind seeing clear cause drugs will sneak up on you and you have to stay ready and alert as to what is happening with your mind and thinking process. I am so glad that you are in school. You can't go to school once a week or once a month to learn arithmetic or any other thing for that matter. You have to go EVERY DAY or every other day for you to learn that subject and the class is at least an hour long. Angel, same with recovery. You are learning a new way to live. I certainly hope that my words help you with your fear. I''m gonna post something from this book the purpose driven life on fear. It is a good book for you to read and easy to understand. It has a lot on fear.

MANY PEOPLE ARE DRIVEN BY FEAR
Their fears may be a result of a trumatic expeience, unrealistic expectations, growing up in a high control home or even genetic predisposition. Regardless of the cause, fear-driven people often miss great opportunities because they're afraid to venture out. Instead they play it safe, avoiding risks and trying to maintain the status quo.

Fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be. You must move against it with the weapons of faith and love.

MANY PEOPLE ARE DRIVEN BY THE NEED FOR APPROVAL.
They allow the expectations of parents or spouses or children or teachers or friends to control thier lives. Manay adults are still trying to earn the approval of unpleasable parents. Others are driven by peer pressure, always worried by what others might think. Unfortunately, those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it,

I don't know all the keys to success, but one key to failure is to try to please everyone. Being controlled by the opinions of others is a guaranteed way to miss God's purposes for your life.

There are other forces that can drive your life but all lead to the same dead end: unused potential, unneccassary stress, and an unfulfilled life.

MANY PEOPLE ARE DRIVEN BY RESENTMENT AND ANGER
They hold on to hurts and never get over them. Instead of releasing their pain thorugh forgiveness, they rehearse it over and over in thieir minds. Some resentment-driven people ""clam up"and internalize their anger, while others "blow up"and explode it onto others. Both responses are unhealthy and unhelpful.

Listen: Those who have hurt you in the pst cannot continue toi hurt you now unless you hold on to the pain throug resentment. Your past is past. Nothing will change it. You are only hurting yourself with your bitterness. For your own sake, learn from it, and then let it go. The Bible says "To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do"

MANY PEOPLE ARE DRIVEN BY GUILT
They spend their entire lives running from regrets and hiding their shame. Guilt-driven people are manipulated by memories. They allow their past to control their future. They often unconscioysly punish themselves by sabataging their own success.

We are products of our past, but we don't have to prisoners of it. God's purpose is not limited by your past. He turned a murderer named Moses into a leader and a coward named Gideon into a courageous hero, and he can do amazing things wiht the rest of your life, too. God specializes in giving people a fresh start.

Hope this helps,

Dan

Make every day count.
Just like with the booze and dope, you can work on your GPA one day at a time.
Don't look to the end of the semester before even starting, you know.
You seized the opportunity Angel.
You're already a winner for that.
Now, just take it home

lulu70

Sometimes fear is a good thing. It all depends on what we do with the fear. For a long time I let fear paralyze me and keep me from doing things I needed to do. You can get that 3.0. Like Dan said, just take it one day, one exam, one assignment, at a time. As long as you go to class everyday, take good notes, keep up with your reading, and talk to your teachers if you are having trouble (before it gets too bad), you will be fine. Who knows? You may even make a 4.0!!!! We're all here pulling for you!

Hugs--

Luckyv2

You will be just fine you know that really and what we call that is mind fuccking ourselves excuse the language, but you don't have to know why you are full of fear just accept that you are, own it, feel it, then let it go. I know that if we keep doing what we are doing, which is staying clean and sober anything is possible. I love you and glad that you are here.

Love Vic

shockozulu

Angel, I'm starting classes in two weeks. I am so scared you could take my pants off and I wouldn't notice. So please keep in touch with me, and we can be scared together. Okay?

BTW, I see your GPA is the same as mine Good job.

hopealwayz

That is a good way of looking at school too: one day at a time. I am guilty of worrying about so much stuff before it even happens. I am a bit excited about school starting too. I will do the best I can. I am fortunate to get another opportunity to do better in school.

MNGirlyGirl

It is normal to be nervous. That feeling will go away after a day or two. I had flunked out of college many years ago due to partying. I returned years later and graduated with a 3.7 GPA. Just keep up on the reading assignments, take good notes and attend all your classes. It's always good to make a friend in a class to share notes or have as a study partner. Good luck and have fun!!!!

shockozulu

I also found college a good way to spend the time I would normally spend using. I'd go to the student center to study, the computer center to do my homework (even with a computer at home), and the library to study and research. It keeps me busy.

Good luck!

hopealwayz

I just found an apartment and my application for it got approved!! This is the first apartment that I have ever rented. I am pretty excited and this is a big step forward for me. I just have to buy furniture for it now because it is currently a big empty room. But it is my big empty room so I am very happy!!!

MNGirlyGirl

What a great opportunity for a new start!!! You can make this whatever you want it to be!!! This is something to look forward to -- leave the using days behind. Keep us posted!
Kathy

shockozulu

You got your own room? That is so great! You will now be away from some of the people, places and things that tempted you. I'm so happy.

Now one important rule...have the telephone/DSL or cable turned on before you move in, pack your computer last and unpack it first. Then just plug it into your new internet connection and you are back with us!

I'm so happy for you.

hopealwayz

I don't want to be away from SR for long, LOL. I need this place.

shockozulu

I know, my friend, oh I know. I actually get more out of this board than I do from NA meetings (not the program, the meetings!) because here I have people that are available any time...day or night. I just log on and type away until the cravings are gone.

hopealwayz

Oh my gosh, my classes start in 5 days. I feel knots in my stomach. LOL, one day at a time, one day at a time. I must need constant reminders in my head. Hehe.........

jpeace2

You will do GREAT Angel!!! Just think how cool it's going to be when you get that big empty room full of YOU and just the way you want it. I'm still doing some redecorating at home myself and what is so nice is that it feels more and more like "home" every little thing I put in. Home is my refuge and hopefully even though this isn't your permanent stop, it will be yours too.....just for today.

Good luck and come back as soon as you can!!