Drunk at the keyboard
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1
Drunk at the keyboard
Hello, I'm new here.
I've been drinking on and off for just over two years now. It started with a few shots of Baileys every weekend, then it became a few shots every night, until eventually it was a litre bottle.
I'm a shy, very anxious person - and I loved the confidence alcohol gave me. I also loved the way it seemed to make things flow for me: I was like a writer with writer's block, and alcohol would melt that block away.
I know I need to stop drinking. It's been nearly a litre of vodka every night the last two weeks - interspersed with shots sporadically during the day. I'm beginning to become physically ill. But I wonder how I can exist without alcohol - it enables me to do things I cannot do sober.
It's like a medication.
Does anyone else understand these feelings?
Thank you for reading.
I've been drinking on and off for just over two years now. It started with a few shots of Baileys every weekend, then it became a few shots every night, until eventually it was a litre bottle.
I'm a shy, very anxious person - and I loved the confidence alcohol gave me. I also loved the way it seemed to make things flow for me: I was like a writer with writer's block, and alcohol would melt that block away.
I know I need to stop drinking. It's been nearly a litre of vodka every night the last two weeks - interspersed with shots sporadically during the day. I'm beginning to become physically ill. But I wonder how I can exist without alcohol - it enables me to do things I cannot do sober.
It's like a medication.
Does anyone else understand these feelings?
Thank you for reading.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,549
Hi Midnightstarboy,
Welcome!
I loved the confidence alcohol gave me too because I suffer from anxiety as well and it was so nice to be able to feel comfortable in a group. But, for me the comfortable period didn't last long and very quickly escalated to alcoholism. I used alcohol to self-medicate and ended up with a double problem.
I was also afraid to stop drinking because, after 3 years of drinking a lot, I didn't know what was left for me. But, I found that there was lots out there that was waiting for me life is so much better now. As far as doing the things that I felt I could not do sober - I don't go out in social situations so much anymore, that's a decision I made to take care of myself. In fact, I try to not do anything that I don't want to do and I find that it's much easier to get through the day, than when I used to take on a lot of things I didn't really care about or want to do. In other words, I kind of changed my life from the bottom up. You can do this too an we're here to help.
Anna
Welcome!
I loved the confidence alcohol gave me too because I suffer from anxiety as well and it was so nice to be able to feel comfortable in a group. But, for me the comfortable period didn't last long and very quickly escalated to alcoholism. I used alcohol to self-medicate and ended up with a double problem.
I was also afraid to stop drinking because, after 3 years of drinking a lot, I didn't know what was left for me. But, I found that there was lots out there that was waiting for me life is so much better now. As far as doing the things that I felt I could not do sober - I don't go out in social situations so much anymore, that's a decision I made to take care of myself. In fact, I try to not do anything that I don't want to do and I find that it's much easier to get through the day, than when I used to take on a lot of things I didn't really care about or want to do. In other words, I kind of changed my life from the bottom up. You can do this too an we're here to help.
Anna
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
I can relate. There is so much more you can do sober than you could do while drinking. Just believe that the let the door open to sobriety, give it a little time, and you will be able to see it. Drinking just makes us feel terrible and that is not how we should spend our life.
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
Welcome ! I sure can understand how you are feeling,been there. Alcohol eventually turned on me,and thats when I turned to AA.You have found a great site for help and support.Glad you here. Trish
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: flint tx
Posts: 35
midnightstarboy
Can I relate???? Baby I want you to read my thread that's been going on since Saturday... Get ready for whimpering and whining and a very unpleasant scene all together but you are in a really good place here. If you decide to quit and you get touchy and need to explode on somebody...instant message me...I have it comming .
Been there and done.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: West Coast North America
Posts: 269
Chronic use of alcohol creates real, measurable chemical and anatomical changes in the brain. Alcoholism IS a physical disease (with lots of other components of course). The good news is you can get your old chemistry back, for the most part. Only problem is the brain will always "remember" how alcohol changed and and one drink gets us back to square one.
So you are right: it is a bit like a medicine. Only problem is it has a really bad side-effect: death.
So you are right: it is a bit like a medicine. Only problem is it has a really bad side-effect: death.
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