Heartbroken
living clean and free
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Grapevine, Texas
Posts: 31
AngelHugs.
It will not do any good worrying about how it will turn out. If you stay sober and work on sobriety and spiruality, everything will turn out how it is meant to turn out, just let God drive the bus and enjoy the ride. 11 days is Great, keep up the great work. Things will get better as all the toxic crap leaves your system.....Smile alot today and have a great day.....
today I choose sobriety, therfore I choose life!!
Mike
It will not do any good worrying about how it will turn out. If you stay sober and work on sobriety and spiruality, everything will turn out how it is meant to turn out, just let God drive the bus and enjoy the ride. 11 days is Great, keep up the great work. Things will get better as all the toxic crap leaves your system.....Smile alot today and have a great day.....
today I choose sobriety, therfore I choose life!!
Mike
Last edited by mike66; 05-24-2005 at 05:15 AM. Reason: misspell
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Our house.
Posts: 816
Took me a long time clean to stop feeling raw around relationship issues. I felt vulnerable, scared and really angry all at once. Suspect my partner felt pretty similar. In the beginning it was all too much and all i could work on was getting me through the day sober. I had no clue whether our relationship would survive what was going on but didnt have the reserves to deal with it. Was okay though cos once i started dealing with me the rest fell into place with time.
10 days is awesome!
Big hugs
Evanna.
10 days is awesome!
Big hugs
Evanna.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Burlington, VT
Posts: 25
From a guy's point of view, I can tell you this. Work on yourself, show him how strong you are. Never act weak, and act like you are doing him a favor by even talking to him. You are the prize, not him. Act like you could care less.
People love challenges, if you are open and loving and "needy" that will drive him away. Be strong. If you can stop drinking/using drugs, that is enough to start with. Work out, start jogging, do things with your friends most of all, things that do not involve him. Believe me, he will wonder.
Above all, ask yourself why you would want somone who is not there for you when the chips are down.
-Dan
People love challenges, if you are open and loving and "needy" that will drive him away. Be strong. If you can stop drinking/using drugs, that is enough to start with. Work out, start jogging, do things with your friends most of all, things that do not involve him. Believe me, he will wonder.
Above all, ask yourself why you would want somone who is not there for you when the chips are down.
-Dan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
He called me last night but I still get this feeling that I need time to myself. He is moody and I never know how he is gonna be. So the next time I talk to him, he could be a jerk to me.
I like what you all said about working on myself and everything will fall into place.
Also, Dan, if I got my stuff together he would definitely start wondering and maybe even kick himself.
I have to do this for myself and I am getting my life together, with or without him.
Love,
Cheryl
I like what you all said about working on myself and everything will fall into place.
Also, Dan, if I got my stuff together he would definitely start wondering and maybe even kick himself.
I have to do this for myself and I am getting my life together, with or without him.
Love,
Cheryl
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
I asked him earlier if he ever thought about me during the day and he said once in the morning and once at night. He said that he was staying focused on everything going on.
But it just seems weird that he doesn't think of me that much in the day. His feelings for me just may not be as strong as my feelings for him. That is something that I have to accept.
But it just seems weird that he doesn't think of me that much in the day. His feelings for me just may not be as strong as my feelings for him. That is something that I have to accept.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 4
Hi Angelhugs,
I'm sorry that your boyfriend didn't at least try to get some basic knowledge from NAR/Al-Anon.
I learned there that if I was going to be supportive of my AH's recovery that bringing up the past should be avoided for a good long time. it is counter-productive and just adds guilt before the A can have a strong enough handle on sobriety.
It's hard sometimes for us to resist reminding the A how we have been hurt, but I do believe that the recovery is more important than revisiting the bad days.
The trust thing is the hardest of all, and I was far from perfect in that respect.
Sometimes I slipped and had to remember to try again next time to not say things like that.
I'm on the other side right now, but I like what Dan says about just being you and not focusing on needing him. Maybe because I was trying to figure out why someone's post to me about giving him his space to recover made me feel calm. I think Dan's words may contain the answer. If I give him the space then I won't seem so needy either. And then maybe I'll start to not feel so needy.
Good luck to you, and try to stay strong.
peace,
CD
I'm sorry that your boyfriend didn't at least try to get some basic knowledge from NAR/Al-Anon.
I learned there that if I was going to be supportive of my AH's recovery that bringing up the past should be avoided for a good long time. it is counter-productive and just adds guilt before the A can have a strong enough handle on sobriety.
It's hard sometimes for us to resist reminding the A how we have been hurt, but I do believe that the recovery is more important than revisiting the bad days.
The trust thing is the hardest of all, and I was far from perfect in that respect.
Sometimes I slipped and had to remember to try again next time to not say things like that.
I'm on the other side right now, but I like what Dan says about just being you and not focusing on needing him. Maybe because I was trying to figure out why someone's post to me about giving him his space to recover made me feel calm. I think Dan's words may contain the answer. If I give him the space then I won't seem so needy either. And then maybe I'll start to not feel so needy.
Good luck to you, and try to stay strong.
peace,
CD
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