CRYING FOR HELP ... FORGIVENESS > I come to you for reinforecement and encouragement
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Jazz
My thoughts are with you. Please don't be so hard on yourself. you are not a pig!!!! You are just an addict like the rest of us. ALL of us have at one time or another - or continuously!!!!!!! - thought we could drink like normal people! HA! please try and get to a meeting. IT WILL HELP. I know your H gets jealous, but really, say to him look give me another chance I need meetings to get well, and if you want me to get well....try suggest Al-anon to him??
much love
cathy31
x
My thoughts are with you. Please don't be so hard on yourself. you are not a pig!!!! You are just an addict like the rest of us. ALL of us have at one time or another - or continuously!!!!!!! - thought we could drink like normal people! HA! please try and get to a meeting. IT WILL HELP. I know your H gets jealous, but really, say to him look give me another chance I need meetings to get well, and if you want me to get well....try suggest Al-anon to him??
much love
cathy31
x
old enough to know BETTER!!!!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 396
Please forgive me for being remiss ....
I want to thank EVERYONE who was kind enough to reach out to me and give me a helping hand.
I'm sorry I haven't expressed my gratitude until now .... YES, still beating myself pretty bad, but haven't drank!
I was just feeling SO STRONG ..... going on a month was a great accomplishment for me. I have so much making up to do to my entire family, and the ONLY way is to show THEM.
Luckily, no one knew! BUT, I KNEW! AND I FELT PRETTY DARN CRAPPY and felt like a FAILURE!
I'm still a little shakey and would like to respond individually, I'll do so when my head is a little more clear.
AGAIN, I cannot thank you ENOUGH for your kindness and concern.
You lifted me at a time when I need to be lifted ..... and it's nice to know there are wonderful, caring people out there that understand.
Hugs and THANKS to all of you.
Maria
I'm sorry I haven't expressed my gratitude until now .... YES, still beating myself pretty bad, but haven't drank!
I was just feeling SO STRONG ..... going on a month was a great accomplishment for me. I have so much making up to do to my entire family, and the ONLY way is to show THEM.
Luckily, no one knew! BUT, I KNEW! AND I FELT PRETTY DARN CRAPPY and felt like a FAILURE!
I'm still a little shakey and would like to respond individually, I'll do so when my head is a little more clear.
AGAIN, I cannot thank you ENOUGH for your kindness and concern.
You lifted me at a time when I need to be lifted ..... and it's nice to know there are wonderful, caring people out there that understand.
Hugs and THANKS to all of you.
Maria
old enough to know BETTER!!!!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 396
Just ONE more thing!
This is so much harder than I EVER imagined!!!!!!!
I give those of you who have kicked your addictions and managed to stay sober an immense amount of credit!
Blessings and STRENGTH to all!
Much love,
Maria
This is so much harder than I EVER imagined!!!!!!!
I give those of you who have kicked your addictions and managed to stay sober an immense amount of credit!
Blessings and STRENGTH to all!
Much love,
Maria
old enough to know BETTER!!!!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 396
MY WAY OF THANKING ALL OF YOU ..... for now!
A wish for you!
Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles --
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green stoplights on your way to work or shop.
I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in...
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing along song on the radio.
Your keys right where you look.
I wish you a day of happiness and perfection ---
little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you
the funny feeling that the Lord is smiling on you,
holding you so gently because
you are someone special and rare.
I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.
Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles --
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green stoplights on your way to work or shop.
I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in...
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing along song on the radio.
Your keys right where you look.
I wish you a day of happiness and perfection ---
little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you
the funny feeling that the Lord is smiling on you,
holding you so gently because
you are someone special and rare.
I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.
Every one of you here is SPECIAL to me .... for its hard to FORGET a *strangers'* HELP! I will NEVER forget the love and kindness I find here, at HOME!
All my love,
Maria
Originally Posted by findingme
Just ONE more thing!
This is so much harder than I EVER imagined!!!!!!!
I give those of you who have kicked your addictions and managed to stay sober an immense amount of credit!
Blessings and STRENGTH to all!
Much love,
Maria
This is so much harder than I EVER imagined!!!!!!!
I give those of you who have kicked your addictions and managed to stay sober an immense amount of credit!
Blessings and STRENGTH to all!
Much love,
Maria
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: QVB NYC NY
Posts: 620
just a little added note of my own..........
i hear many people talk of slips, slip makes it sound sooooooo nice doesn't it? LOL
it's a relapse, nothing else!!
and the only thing that causes relapses is our decision to pick up, nothing else! once you have sober time you have choices, i don't care if it's 1 day, 1 week, or 1 month, you've tasted sobriety. being sober is different than being out there and not using.
so we can make up all the excuses we want to, but it comes down to us making the choice to drink or not!
there are 1,000,000 great excuses to use, but not one good reason
i hear many people talk of slips, slip makes it sound sooooooo nice doesn't it? LOL
it's a relapse, nothing else!!
and the only thing that causes relapses is our decision to pick up, nothing else! once you have sober time you have choices, i don't care if it's 1 day, 1 week, or 1 month, you've tasted sobriety. being sober is different than being out there and not using.
so we can make up all the excuses we want to, but it comes down to us making the choice to drink or not!
there are 1,000,000 great excuses to use, but not one good reason
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Who was the old me? many of us drank and drugged from early on in our lives. I didn't know who i was , who I'd became when, I sobered up. The harsh reality sets in. We have to be responsible, we have to clean house, face everything w/o the added help of drinking and drugging. We find, we don't like the sober person any better then the old person we were. instead of doing something about it we return to our old habits and it's right back to where we were. We agonize and cry, why didn't I get it?
Getting sober and staying sober is just as hard as staying drunk and strung out. The nice thing about staying clean and sober there's rewards that, we would never have known by staying drunk and strung out.
Many try and fail in this program. It's there for the taking, do you really want it? Go to a meeting, get a sponser, do recovery work.
Getting sober and staying sober is just as hard as staying drunk and strung out. The nice thing about staying clean and sober there's rewards that, we would never have known by staying drunk and strung out.
Many try and fail in this program. It's there for the taking, do you really want it? Go to a meeting, get a sponser, do recovery work.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: West Texas
Posts: 34
Well howdy! You're BLUNT! Can I have a hug? 
I've been in treatmeant 3 times ( btw...need help...La ha, in texas!...I missed KID ROCK...HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS......anyway, it will help you get "right"...ask for Chris, the guy with a peach....I LOVE HIM, At Hunt TX....La Hacienda.
I've been in treatmeant 3 times ( btw...need help...La ha, in texas!...I missed KID ROCK...HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS......anyway, it will help you get "right"...ask for Chris, the guy with a peach....I LOVE HIM, At Hunt TX....La Hacienda.
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
You ask Jazz " why are some of us chosen for this nitemare of a life?" I think god spent a little more time on us addicts. But he also gave us the strength in our hearts to beat this demon. go there. AA has been my life saver. I could never have gotten clean and sober on my own.
Faith conquers fear.
One day at a time.
How are you doing Maria???
Faith conquers fear.
One day at a time.
How are you doing Maria???
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: West Texas
Posts: 34
Originally Posted by findingme
A wish for you!
Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles --
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green stoplights on your way to work or shop.
I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in...
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing along song on the radio.
Your keys right where you look.
I wish you a day of happiness and perfection ---
little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you
the funny feeling that the Lord is smiling on you,
holding you so gently because
you are someone special and rare.
I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.
Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles --
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green stoplights on your way to work or shop.
I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in...
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing along song on the radio.
Your keys right where you look.
I wish you a day of happiness and perfection ---
little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you
the funny feeling that the Lord is smiling on you,
holding you so gently because
you are someone special and rare.
I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.
Every one of you here is SPECIAL to me .... for its hard to FORGET a *strangers'* HELP! I will NEVER forget the love and kindness I find here, at HOME!
All my love,
Maria
THANK YOU!
We all need to hear words like that sometimes!
old enough to know BETTER!!!!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 396
Originally Posted by hopeitsover
It's me who is my enemy. It's me who beats me up.
Paula Cole from her 'This Fire' CD
Paula Cole from her 'This Fire' CD
I have a question .... how does one regain TRUST ... in OTHERS .... but also in ourselves? I was so VERY trusting and could write a few country songs about my life going down the tubes ..... but, deep down, I *know* I was/am a decent person. I wore my heart on my sleaves .... there was no guessing with me ... I had *sucker* written on my forehead.
Now, that sounds pathetic, I know. But, I don't like DISTRUSTING people ... it makes me truly sad to always wonder .... can I trust him/her????
Does this make any sense or am I just rambling .... once again!???
Maria
Stark Raving Sober
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lucerne CA
Posts: 20
When I give freely of myself and expect nothing in return, there is no need to trust others.
On trusting ouselves...my thinking got me to recovery. I cannot trust myself. My 'self' is selfish, self-centered and egotistical.
On trusting ouselves...my thinking got me to recovery. I cannot trust myself. My 'self' is selfish, self-centered and egotistical.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away. From that moment on, I have not had a single complusion to drink.
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes....
from the Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous", p. 449
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes....
from the Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous", p. 449
old enough to know BETTER!!!!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 396
expect nothing in return
Originally Posted by hopeitsover
When I give freely of myself and expect nothing in return, there is no need to trust others.
On trusting ouselves...my thinking got me to recovery. I cannot trust myself. My 'self' is selfish, self-centered and egotistical.
On trusting ouselves...my thinking got me to recovery. I cannot trust myself. My 'self' is selfish, self-centered and egotistical.
Interesting how we all have our reasons for having gotten addicted .... I can honestly say, though, that SELF had NOTHING to do with it ...
I was self-loathing
wallowing in self-pity
LOW self-esteem
etc., etc. .... you get the picture.
....... but the true SELF was NOT there .... it became someone else .... someone I don't even recognize today when I look in the mirror. Someone that wants the OLD SELF back ..... A SELF that can forget and forgive mySELF for poor judgement and decisions I've made the last 3 years.
As a parent, I would have said .... well, chalk it up to experience. What does one say to an ADULT that got herself into this?
Geeeeee, I was thinking of seeing a therapist .... but this has been very therapeutic for me ... THANKS for reading and responding as I go on and on and on and on (lol)
SIGH! OK, a step outdoors might help!
Thanking you for your wisdom!
M
Stark Raving Sober
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lucerne CA
Posts: 20
When we look into the blackness of space, it is difficult to believe that it is full of light. Indeed, the only time light is visible is when it reflects on something.
Hold onto your hat; you are taking the first step into your recovery journey. Find excitement in experiencing everything clean & sober. It will be wonderful and it will sometimes be horrible. You will see things you never thought you'd see and see things you wish you had never seen.
This is not about seeking answers so much as, learning the right questions to ask.
Oh, you swelled my head so big I can't get out my door and I'm waxing philosophically. Sometimes praise is a dangerous thing for a person in recovery.
Ron
Hold onto your hat; you are taking the first step into your recovery journey. Find excitement in experiencing everything clean & sober. It will be wonderful and it will sometimes be horrible. You will see things you never thought you'd see and see things you wish you had never seen.
This is not about seeking answers so much as, learning the right questions to ask.
Oh, you swelled my head so big I can't get out my door and I'm waxing philosophically. Sometimes praise is a dangerous thing for a person in recovery.
Ron
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
We might be a little different and have to face different things from other people, but we have this amazing strength that we gain from the things we have to face. Strength and courage are ours to keep.
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