I'm lost....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Midland, Texas
Posts: 30
I'm lost....
Don't think I am really a newcomer, I have been here before to read & get advice but never stopped drinking. Now I am hearing my husband of 19 years tell me I need to quit drinking or we have no marriage. Of course, as most alcoholics do, I pick the drinking. So he feels I love the booze more than him. I can't explain to him that right now the booze has control over me, not the other way around.
I'm confused, hurt & basically lost. Anybody out there that can help or give me some kind of advice?
Right now I am hating the man I have been married to for 19 years & feel like he is giving me an ultimatum. Him or alcohol. So I am feeling like I don't love him. Is that me thinking that or me being under the influence?
Somebody, anybody...please help me??????????????
I'm confused, hurt & basically lost. Anybody out there that can help or give me some kind of advice?
Right now I am hating the man I have been married to for 19 years & feel like he is giving me an ultimatum. Him or alcohol. So I am feeling like I don't love him. Is that me thinking that or me being under the influence?
Somebody, anybody...please help me??????????????
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
Hi Kelli, I remember you being here before, happy you are back reaching out for help.
Your hubs is probably very scared and frustrated with your drinking, I hope he realises it's a disease, he needs to know how strong of a pull it has on alkies, and it is hard for some to choose if they aren't ready to STOP. Most of us humans don't like being told what to do...do we? even when it's for our own good, go figure.
If you don't have any desire to stop drinking you won't, bottom line. I really wish I had some wise words to tell you, all I know is if you want to stop you need to get some kind of outside help.
How important is your marriage to you? Will you have regrets if he leaves you? drinking is a dead end, it only offers you never ending grief and pain.
You say you don't love him...you're the one who knows the answer to that, drinking certainly tosses our thinking around, and it's stupid thinking.
Take care of yourself Kelli, really think about what's going on here, and if you want to stop drinking, get some help today, it's there waiting for you.
Love, hugs and understanding.....Denise
Your hubs is probably very scared and frustrated with your drinking, I hope he realises it's a disease, he needs to know how strong of a pull it has on alkies, and it is hard for some to choose if they aren't ready to STOP. Most of us humans don't like being told what to do...do we? even when it's for our own good, go figure.
If you don't have any desire to stop drinking you won't, bottom line. I really wish I had some wise words to tell you, all I know is if you want to stop you need to get some kind of outside help.
How important is your marriage to you? Will you have regrets if he leaves you? drinking is a dead end, it only offers you never ending grief and pain.
You say you don't love him...you're the one who knows the answer to that, drinking certainly tosses our thinking around, and it's stupid thinking.
Take care of yourself Kelli, really think about what's going on here, and if you want to stop drinking, get some help today, it's there waiting for you.
Love, hugs and understanding.....Denise
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
Ahhhh Dear Friend,
My father recalls a story - a true one about 2 years ago! It was a Sunday and I was in oblivion with booze. My darling and much loved father asked me did I want him or the bottle.......On that day I chose the bottle or rather the disease won!!!!!
It is a disease. It is not easy - it would be a lie to say it was! But you will find great help and support from friends here at SR. Get to some AA meetings tooo even if you ARE drinking. All AA ever asks of you is that you have a desire to stop!!!!
You can do it - I am here for you if I can help at allllllllll!!!!! luvs and Cuddles Ama
My father recalls a story - a true one about 2 years ago! It was a Sunday and I was in oblivion with booze. My darling and much loved father asked me did I want him or the bottle.......On that day I chose the bottle or rather the disease won!!!!!
It is a disease. It is not easy - it would be a lie to say it was! But you will find great help and support from friends here at SR. Get to some AA meetings tooo even if you ARE drinking. All AA ever asks of you is that you have a desire to stop!!!!
You can do it - I am here for you if I can help at allllllllll!!!!! luvs and Cuddles Ama
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Kelli...
No one can make a rational decision when your mind is filled with booze. Please see a doctor and let your recovery begin.
De toxing from alcohol can be dangerous and a doctors visit is a wise move.
Married or not...a sober life is so very worthwhile!!
De toxing from alcohol can be dangerous and a doctors visit is a wise move.
Married or not...a sober life is so very worthwhile!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 307
Hi Kelli,
I know what you are saying about the ultimatum. My wife gave me a couple of those and it didn't stop my drinking. For some reason she never carried out the threats to leave and just lived with the mess that was me. I am new to recovery with a little over a month of sobriety after many years of drinking, but life is so much better now! I go to AA and will take my third step with my sponsor this Thursday. Please try to find the strength to make a move and as CarolD says consult a physician or look into detox. I didn't go to a doctor and managed to quit cold turkey, but might have been playing with fire. As Ama says, go to a meeting as soon as possible whether you are sober or not. AA gives out chips for 24 hours and everyone understands and is very supportive. My sponsor says to concentrate on recovery and everything will come out right. It is starting to happen for me and it can for you too!
Keep posting and you will get a lot of support here.
I know what you are saying about the ultimatum. My wife gave me a couple of those and it didn't stop my drinking. For some reason she never carried out the threats to leave and just lived with the mess that was me. I am new to recovery with a little over a month of sobriety after many years of drinking, but life is so much better now! I go to AA and will take my third step with my sponsor this Thursday. Please try to find the strength to make a move and as CarolD says consult a physician or look into detox. I didn't go to a doctor and managed to quit cold turkey, but might have been playing with fire. As Ama says, go to a meeting as soon as possible whether you are sober or not. AA gives out chips for 24 hours and everyone understands and is very supportive. My sponsor says to concentrate on recovery and everything will come out right. It is starting to happen for me and it can for you too!
Keep posting and you will get a lot of support here.
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