wantneeda

hi Time buster, if I've learned anything it's that I must love myself first, but as an addict i found love through anything and anyone else. I could never be alone, I just wasn't good company for me because I didn't like who I was. How could I possibly love me if I didn't like me? How could I possibly depend on my emotions when I didn't like me? I hated my emotions and/or didn't know what I was feeling because i drowned them and ran from them. I think the first step in growing up is realizing that i couldn't run from me anymore. I don't think one should consider oneself a failure for not growing spiritually or emotionally, just that we didn't know how. Only through the program, others experience and the steps will we grow. I think emotional sobriety is simply maybe being able to identify our emotions when they're not clouded by a chemical and the ability to move through those emotions without stuffing them.