Hello, My Name is Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fargo ND
Posts: 17
I just want to thank everyone for all the support. I have been clean and sober for 22 days. I am sooo grateful. My husband and I were suppose to go to a marriage counselor but ice roads made us have to cancel. I am bummed as I needed to tell my husband that I need his support in my recovery I need someone there to supervise because I believe it will be one big fight. I hope I can get through this. We rescheduled to Monday.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fargo ND
Posts: 17
Hi Everyone at SR,
I want to thank everyone for the support that I have recieved here. I am soooo grateful to be clean and sober. 25 days today I have an assignment for my outpt group to write my life story about using drugs and alcohol. I have been procrastinating it. I dont want to bring all the thoughts and emotions back to the surface. I also need to write a letter to my mom (she is still living) which I dont believe I have to mail. I have so many questions for her about my childhood. like did she work? why was I always at my grandparents house? how many times she was in an inpt psych ward? My mind today seems so clouded and empty. Please give me some suggestions.
I want to thank everyone for the support that I have recieved here. I am soooo grateful to be clean and sober. 25 days today I have an assignment for my outpt group to write my life story about using drugs and alcohol. I have been procrastinating it. I dont want to bring all the thoughts and emotions back to the surface. I also need to write a letter to my mom (she is still living) which I dont believe I have to mail. I have so many questions for her about my childhood. like did she work? why was I always at my grandparents house? how many times she was in an inpt psych ward? My mind today seems so clouded and empty. Please give me some suggestions.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The land of the free and the home of the brave
Posts: 46
Hi Amy, I'm Kevin, a recovering addict/alcoholic. Great job on getting here and taking some action! I remember when I was coming up on my first 30 days clean (still have that coin, for sure) and how cruddy I felt inside. Just hang in with us, keep going to meetings, and it gets better.
Do you have a temporary sponsor? It was suggested I get one when I was first coming around, and I found it very helpful. Where are you with the first step and admitting (and truly believing inside) powerlessness? I found out that this was the only step I need to complete perfectly, and then what I needed from there was to simply be open-minded that there may be a better way than I had been living (wow, what a stretch that was :-)), and be willing to be teachable. Well, when I admitted I was powerless over cocaine and alcohol it was a beginning and that was what I needed. I started creating options for myself instead of always reducing my options in life by using drugs and/or alcohol.
"With all the earnestness at our command we beg you to be fearless and thorough from the very start." If I devote one tenth of the effort to sobriety that I devoted to getting high and drunk, I'm doing really, really well.
My suggestions are to get a temporary sponsor and keep going to outpatient and meetings, then start working the 12 steps with a sponsor as soon as you can. In my 15 months I have found absolutely no substitute for working the steps. I tried it my way the first time around and I relapsed after 6 months. This time around I am taking the suggestions of those who have gone before me and who have laid out this simple program for me to work. To work.
Do you have a temporary sponsor? It was suggested I get one when I was first coming around, and I found it very helpful. Where are you with the first step and admitting (and truly believing inside) powerlessness? I found out that this was the only step I need to complete perfectly, and then what I needed from there was to simply be open-minded that there may be a better way than I had been living (wow, what a stretch that was :-)), and be willing to be teachable. Well, when I admitted I was powerless over cocaine and alcohol it was a beginning and that was what I needed. I started creating options for myself instead of always reducing my options in life by using drugs and/or alcohol.
"With all the earnestness at our command we beg you to be fearless and thorough from the very start." If I devote one tenth of the effort to sobriety that I devoted to getting high and drunk, I'm doing really, really well.
My suggestions are to get a temporary sponsor and keep going to outpatient and meetings, then start working the 12 steps with a sponsor as soon as you can. In my 15 months I have found absolutely no substitute for working the steps. I tried it my way the first time around and I relapsed after 6 months. This time around I am taking the suggestions of those who have gone before me and who have laid out this simple program for me to work. To work.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fargo ND
Posts: 17
WOW 28 DAYS CLEAN
I can not believe it. Thank you all for your support. This is a wonderful site. I have taken alot of what I have read to heart. My husband has now meet with the family counsler and that makes me very happy. Thanks again.
Amy
I can not believe it. Thank you all for your support. This is a wonderful site. I have taken alot of what I have read to heart. My husband has now meet with the family counsler and that makes me very happy. Thanks again.
Amy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Hi Amy...
It is good to read that things are going better for you and your family.
You mentioned writing a letter to your mother. When I was in a treatment center I wrote a letter to my mother, who is deceased. I too had alot of questions about my childhood and all the craziness that my sister and I encountered. We took the letter and attached it to helium balloons and I said a little meditation to my mother and released it to the heavens. It truly helped me to release alot of my emotions and frustrations...anyway just wanted to share that with you.
You are doing awesome, glad you are here to share it with us.
It is good to read that things are going better for you and your family.
You mentioned writing a letter to your mother. When I was in a treatment center I wrote a letter to my mother, who is deceased. I too had alot of questions about my childhood and all the craziness that my sister and I encountered. We took the letter and attached it to helium balloons and I said a little meditation to my mother and released it to the heavens. It truly helped me to release alot of my emotions and frustrations...anyway just wanted to share that with you.
You are doing awesome, glad you are here to share it with us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fargo ND
Posts: 17
HI I made it 30 days WOW I must confess that the last few days I have thought alot about using. I have a big decision to make which is taking my 6 yr 1st grader out of her private Christian school and send her to a public school. It is eating me up inside. But the money is more than we can handle right now. I also got laid off from my temp job until the end of Jan beginning of Feb. I am sooo scared to make this decision.
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