Newcomer
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2024
Location: California
Posts: 2
Newcomer
Hey everyone,
Name is Chris. Just found the forums a few days ago and started reading and couldn't stop, haha. Anyways, 4 months sober here (for my second round of sobriety). Went 8 months the first time, but that time I wanted to try and control my drinking after I started again. That turned out, not as expected, typical of us I suppose. Went to detox/rehab for this second round about and it seemed to do me solid for now. This time we will stay sober for the long run. Looking forward to being part of the community as time goes on. Lots of good reads and seemingly good people here.
Name is Chris. Just found the forums a few days ago and started reading and couldn't stop, haha. Anyways, 4 months sober here (for my second round of sobriety). Went 8 months the first time, but that time I wanted to try and control my drinking after I started again. That turned out, not as expected, typical of us I suppose. Went to detox/rehab for this second round about and it seemed to do me solid for now. This time we will stay sober for the long run. Looking forward to being part of the community as time goes on. Lots of good reads and seemingly good people here.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,678
Welcome Chris 
yeah I’d quit for a while thinking that would mean I could control my drinking - but it never worked.
Abstinence is not control…
The day I accepted that my relationship with alcohol was disastrous and always would be, I finally started to think about a life without alcohol in it.
It’s worked out great for me and many others here too
D
yeah I’d quit for a while thinking that would mean I could control my drinking - but it never worked.
Abstinence is not control…
The day I accepted that my relationship with alcohol was disastrous and always would be, I finally started to think about a life without alcohol in it.
It’s worked out great for me and many others here too
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,205
Since you did 8 months once, you know you can quit, so I'll dispense with hints about getting started. It sounds like you lacked an understanding of how alcoholism works. There were lots of things I learned along the way, and if you hang out here, you will pickup some useful knowledge.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,205
An old timer in AA said years ago, that if you get a year sober, and then drink again, it's not a failure, because at least you had a year to experience the joy of sobriety. He stated it as a fact, or at least it sounded like a statement of fact to me. I only had a couple of months at that time, but it didn't ring true to me then, and now after many years of sobriety, I can say I think it's more accurate to consider his statement as an opinion. And as such, my own opinion is quite different.
Yes, I was quite happy with myself at one year, and I did experience joy, albeit kind of a giddy joy, but it wasn't until years later, somewhere around 20 or so, when I realized with great surprise how we just keep growing and enjoying life more an more in permanent sobriety. It's not as giddy as early sobriety, but it's much calmer and a state that I describe as contentment. The "giddy" is something I don't seek anymore, although I do have those moments too.
Also, framing a short period of sobriety that ends in relapse as a "success or a failure" may not be the best spin to put on it. I think of that situation as more like taking a vacation from addiction, but not quitting. There was a fellow I knew in AA who was most helpful to me in getting past that first week or so of cravings, and he knew what he was talking about. He was the "King of Quit" and he had "quit" more times than I could count. String all of his sober periods together and he may have had 15 years of sobriety. But 5 years or so after I met him, he drank himself to death. Apparently, he never stayed sober long enough to get to the really good stuff. To be honest, I don't know what his problem was, but it seems like he was missing something important along the way.
But the point is that accepting that sobriety as a new life that goes forever was a key that made my sobriety much less stressful, and maybe even made my new life possible. Embrace it. It's not a sacrifice that it first seems. It's a gift.
Yes, I was quite happy with myself at one year, and I did experience joy, albeit kind of a giddy joy, but it wasn't until years later, somewhere around 20 or so, when I realized with great surprise how we just keep growing and enjoying life more an more in permanent sobriety. It's not as giddy as early sobriety, but it's much calmer and a state that I describe as contentment. The "giddy" is something I don't seek anymore, although I do have those moments too.
Also, framing a short period of sobriety that ends in relapse as a "success or a failure" may not be the best spin to put on it. I think of that situation as more like taking a vacation from addiction, but not quitting. There was a fellow I knew in AA who was most helpful to me in getting past that first week or so of cravings, and he knew what he was talking about. He was the "King of Quit" and he had "quit" more times than I could count. String all of his sober periods together and he may have had 15 years of sobriety. But 5 years or so after I met him, he drank himself to death. Apparently, he never stayed sober long enough to get to the really good stuff. To be honest, I don't know what his problem was, but it seems like he was missing something important along the way.
But the point is that accepting that sobriety as a new life that goes forever was a key that made my sobriety much less stressful, and maybe even made my new life possible. Embrace it. It's not a sacrifice that it first seems. It's a gift.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,198
Hi Chris, Welcome.
I has been said here that "controlled drinking is for non-alcoholics". My control drinking research tells me once I pick up that first drug, I lose all control.
Stick around, read, reply, join any conversation mostly, and let's stay sober together
I has been said here that "controlled drinking is for non-alcoholics". My control drinking research tells me once I pick up that first drug, I lose all control.
Stick around, read, reply, join any conversation mostly, and let's stay sober together
The Dog
Join Date: Apr 2023
Location: Fly over state USA
Posts: 5,661
Congrats on four months. One of my deterrents from drinking when AV strikes is I don't want to start my quit over. I am wrapping up day 312 now as I speak. If I was to drink tonight tomorrow or next week would be day one again. I wouldn't even begin to feel comfortable in my quit again until I was past day 312.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
