163
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Join Date: Nov 2022
Posts: 129
163
Just checking in on day 163.
It's funny how time ticks by and I can find myself becoming ignorant to the changes that sobriety is creating. That's why I think it's so good to have this site to check in with and get things out of my head and written down
I think that the last 5 + months are comparable to a storm at sea that is slowly settling, in the beginning my moods and mental health were all over the place, excited and elated one minute, depressed and angry the next. These fluctuations in mood are still occurring but they're more spread out and less extreme.
Someone once said to me that an addict stops maturing emotionally when they become addicted. I agree with this. In a way, I feel like I'm 16 years old but in the body and lifestyle of my 38 year old self. Sobriety is amazing in the way it physically improves everything, it also sets the wheels in motion for emotional growth and intelligence which have been firmly on hold for so long. I don't believe there's any shortcuts with this, life will be life and time will heal so long as I stay sober. Thats my plan basically, to do everything I can physically like good diet, exercise etc in order to create the best possible base for my recovery to evolve, over time. I feel like the learning happens subconsciously rather than consciously, I cant seem to force it, I kind of notice it once it's already happened if that makes sense!
Looking forward to a 3 day weekend, although the UK weather is utter crap! So, if any of you lot who live in nice hot countries could send some decent weather this way that would be much appreciated!
It's funny how time ticks by and I can find myself becoming ignorant to the changes that sobriety is creating. That's why I think it's so good to have this site to check in with and get things out of my head and written down
I think that the last 5 + months are comparable to a storm at sea that is slowly settling, in the beginning my moods and mental health were all over the place, excited and elated one minute, depressed and angry the next. These fluctuations in mood are still occurring but they're more spread out and less extreme.
Someone once said to me that an addict stops maturing emotionally when they become addicted. I agree with this. In a way, I feel like I'm 16 years old but in the body and lifestyle of my 38 year old self. Sobriety is amazing in the way it physically improves everything, it also sets the wheels in motion for emotional growth and intelligence which have been firmly on hold for so long. I don't believe there's any shortcuts with this, life will be life and time will heal so long as I stay sober. Thats my plan basically, to do everything I can physically like good diet, exercise etc in order to create the best possible base for my recovery to evolve, over time. I feel like the learning happens subconsciously rather than consciously, I cant seem to force it, I kind of notice it once it's already happened if that makes sense!
Looking forward to a 3 day weekend, although the UK weather is utter crap! So, if any of you lot who live in nice hot countries could send some decent weather this way that would be much appreciated!
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Join Date: Nov 2022
Posts: 129
Originally Posted by DoinThis 
I just checked in after many years. Your post has given me hope. Please don’t go back. It’s hell. And I’m functioning… 😕
I'm really pleased my post had given you hope. I have been through the drinking/quitting/relapsing hell for around 10 years and I know how miserable it all is.
I'm only 5 months in so I'm not really in a position to be giving much advice but all I'll say is that I really hope you'll make today your day 1, or last drink if you've already been drinking.
I was a functional alcoholic too andeverything is so much better without the poison.
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,268
Positive, encouraging, inspirational posts for others
just starting their own journey into recovery. Even for
many who are achieving continuous sobriety each day
because it reminds us of where we were, what happened
to us before, during and after recovery steps are taken
to get us where we are today.
Keeping an open mind to the process, remain willing
to do what is necessary to remain sober no matter
what it takes and honesty throughout it all.
Awesome recovery achievements.!
just starting their own journey into recovery. Even for
many who are achieving continuous sobriety each day
because it reminds us of where we were, what happened
to us before, during and after recovery steps are taken
to get us where we are today.
Keeping an open mind to the process, remain willing
to do what is necessary to remain sober no matter
what it takes and honesty throughout it all.
Awesome recovery achievements.!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: hatboro pa
Posts: 102
Great post Toddy! I can relate to what you said, as my sober time grows so does my emotional growth! In the beginning my emotions were like a roller coaster. Today at 400 days it's improved ALOT Congrats!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,354
Congratulations on 163 days! And agree with what you said to Doin’It about the carousel hell of drinkingstoppingdrinking again.
it is never too late to try again. Never give up, never surrender. That said, it can get more difficult each time we stray from the sobriety path. I have been reading about how these cycles of relapse set you for a difficult time quitting again (something to do with neurological pathways). So a good reason to stay sober!
hope you have a good day!!
it is never too late to try again. Never give up, never surrender. That said, it can get more difficult each time we stray from the sobriety path. I have been reading about how these cycles of relapse set you for a difficult time quitting again (something to do with neurological pathways). So a good reason to stay sober!
hope you have a good day!!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,181
Sorry the weather is crap Toddy, but you have sunshine in your heart 
Nice rolling along sober.
@DoingThis Welcome back. Why not post a thread of your own?
Nice rolling along sober.@DoingThis Welcome back. Why not post a thread of your own?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 352
Toddy congratulations on your now 164 days!
Thank you for your post. I feel like there are days when I read something here which has been two times tonight that just 'connects all the dots' in making sense to me and comes at a time when I am ready to learn and hear it. I just finished 118 days and your expression about elated one minute and angry and depressed and riding through the storm tells the feeling so well. You can't force it and just let the healing happen in its own way. You said it so well in your post and it really helped me tonight.
Sending you some warm and sunny weather for your 3 day weekend.
Thank you for your post. I feel like there are days when I read something here which has been two times tonight that just 'connects all the dots' in making sense to me and comes at a time when I am ready to learn and hear it. I just finished 118 days and your expression about elated one minute and angry and depressed and riding through the storm tells the feeling so well. You can't force it and just let the healing happen in its own way. You said it so well in your post and it really helped me tonight.
Sending you some warm and sunny weather for your 3 day weekend.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2023
Posts: 549
I'm doing great Toddy thanks 😊 about to embark on my first sober week in the sun away 😎
I did find I started to feel a bit flat around 6 months, kinda whatever the shine kinda went a bit and I did slightly venture into well cud I drink sensibly but absolutely knew I couldn't and my life would be hell trying to moderate, I'd constantly be thinking about alcohol far easier to stop totally. I am only a bit ahead of you short of 9 months. The last month my mood has definitely shifted, it's like I've really seen the light and accepted it for what it is. Feel more calm and at peace with sobriety, like I really know I'm not missing out on anything. Obviously it's still a journey and I'm slightly anxious about going away but I somehow feel I've got this now. Not over confident, I have my tools and I know how to avoid triggers, it feels like its all come together. So basically what I'm saying if this happens to you just plough on never doubt your doing the right thing.
I did find I started to feel a bit flat around 6 months, kinda whatever the shine kinda went a bit and I did slightly venture into well cud I drink sensibly but absolutely knew I couldn't and my life would be hell trying to moderate, I'd constantly be thinking about alcohol far easier to stop totally. I am only a bit ahead of you short of 9 months. The last month my mood has definitely shifted, it's like I've really seen the light and accepted it for what it is. Feel more calm and at peace with sobriety, like I really know I'm not missing out on anything. Obviously it's still a journey and I'm slightly anxious about going away but I somehow feel I've got this now. Not over confident, I have my tools and I know how to avoid triggers, it feels like its all come together. So basically what I'm saying if this happens to you just plough on never doubt your doing the right thing.
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