sharkattack

It's the hardest site to log into, which is bad for drunks - especially if they're drunk. Couldn't sign in as I forgot my password, tried all the combinations with no success, so thought I should get a new account instead. But I couldn't manage the complicated password stuff- you have to have upper case and lower case and ';.]]$4/' and they have to match and then finally after about an hour when I did, they said my email was already in use - of course it was in use, it was mine. Then I went back to my account and went through all the possible passwords I use on every site that I could think of and one come lucky. How do drunk people join this site? Bloody hell. Surely it should be the most simple site to join seeing that the new members will be probably be off their face like I am at the moment. Now I'm on it I can't think what I wanted to say. I've sobered up. Maybe that's some method for getting rid of the drunks. I've edited it to show that I'm good with the system. Oh my sweet lord. Also the font or type or whatever you call it is tiny.

Dee74

Hi sharkattack
sorry you found it hard to negotiate but glad you got in eventually.

Obviously things are not so great recoverywise for you right now - any ideas on what you're prepared to do now to make the changes you need to?

D

sharkattack

Hi Dee, maybe I should go to bed. It's 2 oclock here in the Uk.

sharkattack

Why's everything so small on here? It's like you need binoculars to type. Is it a new thing or am I going blind? I can't see the rubbish I'm writing.

sharkattack

My pronouns are he and him. I just wanted to make that clear. I don't want to cause any confusion. I just worried that I might be typing like a girl. Anyway, it's great to be finally back here again. I've had a bad few months - I'm unemployed but I've got my own home and a little bit of savings. I'm sort of redundant and worthless. I'm not in any despair or crisis or anything but I just wish I could get rid of this drinking nonsense.

Dee74

I think, right now, going to bed is probably a good idea SA.
Drink a glass or two of water - it'll help tomorrow.

D

sharkattack

I'm not looking for anything. I feel sorry for all the people coping with addiction. I was so shocked when a woman I know admitted that she was a lifelong secret alcoholic. I never saw her drink in my life. She used to hide bottles all over the place. I thought she was just mental. I'm not on that level.

sharkattack

Yes good night Dee.

Dee74

Goodnight

D

sugarbear1

Welcome back. I laughed at your musings (I know, it's not funny!) but it was funny because your words described me trying to enter here almost 13 years ago, in fact, I had lurked behind the scenes reading for almost 10 years before I could come up with a name. sugar, bear, cat. Three simple words!

Press the "CTRL" button and the + sign and you can enlarge your fonts.

I wish you well on your sober journey!

ThatWasTheOldMe

How are you today, sharkattack?
Sobriety is 100% worth it, friend.

Anna

Hi SharkAttack, I hope you got some rest and that you are sober today.

Evoo

I've been there... hoping you are sober today, too <3. Keep posting. And if you're here drinking, write yourself a note. Put the password on a post-it -- whatever you have to do.

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, sharkattack.

Is today Day 1? We are here for you.

Hevyn

Good to see you, sharkattack.
I hope you'll come back & talk to us. We care about you.

sharkattack

Thank you everybody for your kind replies. I'm still drinking, but it's okay. I mean it's not okay but it's okay in that it's not crazy tonight. The terrible thing is this "planning on stopping" mindset that I'm sure you all know about. It's great in theory but of course it's nonsense. You know, "tomorrow I'll show some resolve and there will be a new dawn." Why I say it's nonsense is because I'll still have that same mindset, you know "it'll be different tomorrow" is carried from day to day. Of course, that won't happen. I've got this idea that resolve certainly doesn't work - well not for me. I just sweep it aside when it suits.
I had a good period of sobriety recently - 2 months or so and it felt really great - then I went back down to stay with friends in London. The thing is I started to get so hyperactive, quite evangelistic about everything - quite tiring really. Got loads of fuel but nowhere to go. I feel a bit of a fraud on here because mostly I don't even try to stop drinking, I wake up and instantly think of going to the supermarket and don't fight it. There's no internal battle anymore. When I have cessations (great word) it just seems to happen by itself. It makes me question the whole idea of free will - now that's a deeper subject.
Today a plumber came to fix a leak which I'd ignored for ages as it was such an ordeal to get it fixed - I got a letter from the water company telling me I was using too much water and they think I'd got a leak so knew I had to get someone in, so the plumber came first thing in the morning I had some lagers which I drank while he was working away in the bathroom. He came in and saw me and gave me a look. Embarrassing start to the day.
Also I am doing the ctrl + thing and I can actually see what I'm typing. The other night my laptop seemed like it was on the other side of the room.
If I'm going to be honest, I'm sure that Friday and Saturday are going to be a washout. You know, even though I'm not working at the moment, I still think it's the weekend, when lately it's always been the weekend. Anyway, thanks for your support. Shine on you crazy diamonds.

dwtbd

Welcome aboard sharkattack( okay that's kinda funny), but the well wishes are sincere
I'm going to talk at your AV right now , so don't look,lol. Resolve is such a thing we made a word for it, and in the word itself is no connotation that it is a uniquely reserved quantity/qualia, so quit that nonsense you are whispering, secondly free will is only not, when it is denied, when accepted it IS.

Dee74

I’ve been in that situation, wanting to stop but not really doing anything about it except buying more beer.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...dont-frog.html (Don't be the Frog)

I lost several years that way - one minute my mates were settling down and the next they were all grandparents….

I’m glad you came back SA - I reckon there must be some part of you that wants a different life or you wouldn’t seek us out?

D

Zencat

Do you feeling great drinking too?

sharkattack

I don't know how the quick reply thing works. I assume I'm answering just DWBD. I just wonder if you're doing something to get through my radar. It sounds very clever, too clever for a simpleton like me to understand. As you're speaking to my AV voice, that's something deep inside me, like a subconscious thing I guess. I'll read it again when I'm clear headed. Thank you.