Dee74

Last part here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-2-a-21.html

D

BassetDog

Congrats to you as well Listae! You are totally rocking it! 75 days is awesome! Keep it going! Glad you had a good walk today

freedomfries

Good morning. Didn't drink yesterday so happy with that. Got up again at a reasonable hour.

LazaB

11 Days , going to see a psychiatrist tomorrow which will be embarrassing because she kept telling me for months how well i was doing and then i drank again , but i am grateful for everything i have in life , most people in the world are not able to even get help.

ShiningSal

Good morning from Day 16. Going for a run with my best friend this morning.

Thanks for your comments in the last thread Dee and Samwitch. It definitely is a cycle and drinking keeps me locked into the cycle of anger towards the ex.

Samwitch-how did you manage to let go of the hate?

Dee74

Good morning FF

Don’t be embarrassed Laza, professionals are there to help, not judge

well done on day 16 Sal!

D

RunnerF

Pledging for today. Day 573.

Congratulations to all making milestones. Key to long term sobriety , at least for me, is just don’t take that first drink.

BassetDog

Congrats on 573 Runner! Great work. Congrats Sal and Laza for stacking those days as well. Hope your appointment goes well Laza and hope you have a good run this morning Sal.

Day 46 here. Yesterday was a busy day but it was good. We had a family party and I was triggered, as is usually the case when I visit with my family. I drank lots of coffee, ate some good food and stayed sober instead Very grateful to have passed another test and woke up sober today. Like Runner said, not picking up that first drink and taking it a day at a time are the keys for me.

I am committed to 24 more sober hours with you all. I won’t be picking up that first drink today no matter what the nasty AV may try to tell me. That tricky b*stard tells many lies and tries to conflate issues that have nothing to do with alcohol in order to get me to pick up that first one. I’m going to shut that voice down again today.

Hope you all have a great Sunday!

Alessandra

Hello everyone!

I caught some kind of funk. I spent all day in bed yesterday. I feel better today but still under the weather. I’ll spend the day isolating from my kiddos in hopes that they don’t come down with it. Movie day for Ale!

I’m not even sure why day I’m on. I’m one day behind Listae 😝

LazaB

It's funny how people open up when you open up to them , i was talking to a very close cousin today about how i started going to a psychiatrist in order to stop drinking and that i am on medication and all of a sudden he told me that he went to a psychologist ( in a mental institution ) a few times because he had rage attacks , i never knew about this , he also smokes a lot of weed , which i knew. But i know that he would have never told me this if i didn't open up first , we are all messed up on some level.

samwitch

Hey SS--it took time--time to get sober first and then time to realize it was indeed a blessing to be free of that man. I also saw a therapist so I'm glad you are too, as I know part of the reason I undervalued myself was the way I grew up.

So, between the therapy, the sober time, and honestly delving into some spiritual/philosophical learnings I was able to get to the point where I accepted I have value, that everything isn't "all my fault" and sometimes bad stuff happens to us all but we can control not what other people do or say, but how we respond to them/it.

None of this would have happened had I not stopped drinking. Alcohol clouds our ability to see and think clearly and it takes time to get free from it.

I'm not perfect by any means, but I am more accepting and peaceful now.

Know your value and realize you can't control others only how you respond to them and, maybe most importantly, everything is a lesson.

My mantras are:
Trust and Believe.
Know your value.

Whew that's a lot! Sorry to get so existential! Happy Sober Sunday!!

freedomfries

I found alcohol in my wardrobe. About 3.5 units I guess. I drank it. Dumb. But this was nine hours ago and I didn't buy more. So that's something. Felt awful after drinking it. Tainted. But ended up having a nice enough day. Little bit productive.

DeplorableDog

I wonder sometimes if AV will ever quit. Today is 298 for me and yesterday I had some of the worst cravings in a while. I got up in the morning and set out good, mowed the yard and built a new gate. No craving during all of that. Then just as I was finishing the gate the rain set in. I put up all the tools and went in the house. I sat there all afternoon while it was raining and AV kept trying to talk me into going to the liquor store since there was nothing else to do. Finally about 5 the rain had let up and I loaded the dog and took him with me to the train station to watch trains just to get out of the house. Even on the way home from there AV tried to talk me into buying just a small bottle on the way home. I came straight home, fed the animals and quickly went to bed.

Steely

So well done DD.

Finish for the day, tools down, the rain sets in, nothing else to do. A perfect storm.

I’m glad you weren’t persuaded by the lies going on in your mind at that time DD.

You did find something to do in going train spotting with your trusty dog. I bet today, after sleep, you feel so much better. The feeling has passed.

Cravings like that do occur from time to time DD, but they do not last.

You did so well. Congratulations.

Dee74

I’m glad you got through Ddog

In my experience, the voice gets more and more faint and weak as time goes on.

The last time I can remember hearing it, several years ago now I was in a lot of nerve pain, and it was the dead of night after a series of sleepless nights - but it was gone with the sun coming up.

I’ve had that nerve pain again since but no Voice.

I’ve worked hard to build a sober life and a sober Me I love, and I won’t let that crumble. No reason is good enough.

D

freedomfries

I hate the abstinence violation effect. Like I had one drink, might as well black out now since I'm on day 0 either way. Ifs no sense of course.

SoberLeigh

Yes, that makes no rational sense, freedomfries. You know that you feel physically sick if you continue to drink. Cut your losses; stop now.

Dee74

You know that’s self destructive logic tho…you deserve better treatment than what you’ve been giving yourself, yeah?
D

Anna

Sal, it was surprising to me how my perspective changed in recovery. I think you will find that as sober time goes on, you will want to let go of the hate because you will see you value and your ex's value. My thoughts were quite a mess when I finally stopped drinking. But, I realized before long that there could be no hate towards myself or anyone else. Hang in there.

DD, I'm glad you got through a tough day.

ShiningSal

Please don't apologise samwitch! This is very helpful

Day 16 is over, had a lovely morning with my friend. Then when I came back I started feeling anxious. So did housework and made bread. Just getting ready for bed. Night all!