16YearsDrunk

Hi all,
I'm not drinking. I'm sober. But I've an issue that is ruining my life. I am so depressed, flat, negative and everything else in between.
I am angry a lot. I went to the shop earlier to pick up some supplies, and when I got in the shop I forgot what I came for. I go so frustrated that I just stormed out the shop with nothing and went home. I later went to another shop who overcharged me 20.
I am not going back to the shop because I'll a) lose my cool b) probably buy alcohol.
It's a battle going into the shop and not buying alcohol. I instead buy a bottle of pop. I enjoy pop.
I'm on meds for my mental health, quite a lot of them, and I've an appointment with my mental health therapist end of February.
It's hard. It's very hard. And combined with all the problems going on in the world right now I'm struggling mentally.

biminiblue

My number one suggestion would be to stop watching or reading the news.

The news and politics are about sales. Fear and drama sells. I don't watch news channels, weather stories, politics, nor listen to talk radio. That stuff is really toxic and I just stay way from it. The world continues to do what it's gonna do without me getting involved in that.

There has always been strife, weather, war, tragedy, and violence in the world. I think we are just bombarded with it today from many directions - but it doesn't have to be that way for you and I.

Try staying away from that for 60 days. See how you feel.

Oglsby

Congratulations on your sobriety, but remember to take care of yourself because you are still early in your journey.

I 100% agree with Bimini's advice. I, like you, felt very overwhelmed with the news/world events/etc when I first got sober. I actually did not watch the news for an entire year. It was liberating. I watched lots of documentaries in that time and read and researched things of interest to me during that time. Now I am back to watching "some" news, but I switch it off when I get triggered.

I think Bim's recommendation of 60 days away from it would help you a great deal. Peace to you. You can do this.

joe801

I would agree with Bimini, the news is in the top 3 to reduce or stop watching/reading with depression or anxiety. The news, for the most part, centers on past or future events. The present day is all that needs to be focused on, especially during recovery.

16YearsDrunk

I agree. I've deleted all social media. The world events have caused all sorts of emotions, and I'm a little surprised you read between the lines there. I'm so glad I'm not alone in being effected by media. I don't have the capacity to have emotions for events outside of my own life.

Anna

I think it will help you to read less about the problems in the world. I'm glad you made that decision. Hopefully when you see your doctor in a few weeks, they will have some suggestions for you. Do you do any kind of exercise program? Something as simple as a daily walk can make a difference to your mood.

Zencat

Hi 16AG

I'm no fly-off-the-handle doom-sayer as I carefully select news sources for information. Popular news outlets are indeed biased and sensationalist using the news to hard-sell a political agenda. "if it is a hindrance to your true happiness, cut it off and cast it from you."

What other causes do you have that are a hindrance to your wellness? I know my depression culminated from a cluster of barriers.

Have you ever worked in an anger management program?
Is your living circumstances causing you sadness, family, work, or anything you can pinpoint?

It may be helpful to wright a note to take to your doctor a list of depressive symptoms and side effects of the medication you experience.

biminiblue

Yeah, and really you don't need to be involved in or worried about events outside your life right now...or ever, maybe.

I like what Joe said. News and catastrophe stories or stories that reinforce "hell in a handbasket" type scenarios are about something that already is over, or something that is going to maybe happen, but only about .000012% of which even affects me - and probably 0% of which I can do anything about. The stories just produce a helpless feeling and scare us.

So not cool, and really unnecessarily alarmist. But hey, "CLICK THIS!!!!!"

Hevyn

I'm sorry you're going through a painful time, 16Years. Glad you wanted to talk about it though.

I have to agree with what's already been pointed out about the news. Even the most cheery & optimistic among us are feeling anxious & stressed about world events. I was so afraid to miss something that I was constantly reading updates. I wasn't sleeping, found it hard to relax & have fun - almost felt guilty for feeling lighthearted. That's ridiculous. I'm much better since I don't feel compelled to hear the 'Breaking News'. We're often manipulated, & it's costing us.

Great responses here, as always.

Offthemast

The serenity prayer comes to mind. Maybe start reciting it or a version of it when you get upset.

saoutchik

Well done on not drinking 16YD!

I don't suppose it's any consolation but I forgot what I went to the shop for recently so you're not the only one

Dee74

I'm sorry you're down 16 - but by staying sober and connecting with your Dr you're dong all the right things IMO

D

RecklessDrunk

This.

Control what you can control. We should be on earth 70 something years of life expectancy. Politics were a mess long before we got here and will continue to be a mess long after we are gone.

Let go, live life on life's terms. There is no point in getting upset about things that we have no control over.

16YearsDrunk

I do. I have a belgium malinous so I have to walk him 3 times a day. I also lift weights and most times eat pretty healthy. I like to cook. But as of late these things are feeling like a chore more than an enjoyment.

16YearsDrunk

I want a job and to be working. I am a software engineer. But my passion for developing software is also gone. I love doing it, but once you attach money or timescale to it everything goes down the pan. It's been this way for well over 10 years. Except with my current mood nothing is enjoyable.

Except, 3D art. For some reason I can do this all day. I've started working on liminal spaces, and invoking fear, and uncertainty, in my works. To put my emotions into something that others can feel and appreciate. If that makes sense?

So atm I'm just doing this because it's what is keeping me doing "something".

I have not.

I had a 14 year relationship end 6 months ago. I now live alone with my dog. I would say that living alone has been a blessing. I am somebody who likes their own time and space. But yes, 100% there's some issues from that. I had these problems before the breakdown, and at points in life before the relationship so it's nothing new.

I used alcohol to stop feeling this way. My therapist said I was using alcohol to self medicate to feel normality and she sees it often in people with ASD.

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Solid advice, because when I talk to my therapist everything I plan to discuss goes out the window and I forget.

16YearsDrunk

And thank you to all for the replies. It was really nice reading them this morning. I took my meds last night and went to sleep early and I'm feeling somewhat in better spirits today. I haven't touched the news or social media since yesterday and I can already feel the relief and weight off my shoulders.

I've got some peaceful music on, and doing some art with a cup of tea I shall check out the serenity prayer.

16YearsDrunk

Oh wow. I want this on my wall to remind me every day.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Alpine

I certainly have experience and still do with depression. Like others have said avoid the news. Heck, we don't own a tv and when I have to go to appointments the tvs are on loud in the waiting rooms which ramps up my anxiety and depression. For me I started to practice finding something to be grateful every morning and night and write them down..Even if it is something small like the feeling of the breeze upon my face when outside, a comfortable pillow, looking at my dog..Simple sure..but it has helped. Hope things improve for you.

biminiblue

That Serenity Prayer was on a constant loop in my mind for about six straight months when I was newly sober. There is a long version of it, too, if you're interested.

I'm really happy you stayed away from world events. . . they are definitely of the, "things I cannot change," variety.

Your 3D artistry sounds fascinating. Do you think you could find work that uses that?

...and a malinous - such fantastic dogs. Sounds like you have the basic ingredients for a peaceful life.

novips

I could not stay clean and sober until I fully committed to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I have come to conclude that there is a type of alcoholic for whom -- like me -- AA is the only solution. I have no way of knowing whether you are the same type of alcoholic as I am, but it could explain a lot of what you're describing if you are. Certainly, I experienced a lot of what you describe even while sober before I fully committed to AA. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about that.