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08-30-2023, 01:32 AM

# 21 (permalink)

Robbie64

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Good to read you're doing better FF. Take care and make sure you look after yourself.

08-30-2023, 07:11 AM

# 22 (permalink)

freedomfries

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Really struggling. Took a cheeky valium. Someone put the money I needed for a naggin in my room. I'm not paranoid.

08-30-2023, 07:22 AM

# 23 (permalink)

freedomfries

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Play the tape forward.

I get a naggin. Then I'm drunk enough to walk downtown and get three weeks dole. I'd be in a cell within an hour.

08-30-2023, 07:23 AM

# 24 (permalink)

freedomfries

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Kind of want to self harm.

08-30-2023, 08:00 AM

# 25 (permalink)

Offthemast

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Location: Alabama

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Praying for peace for you man.

08-30-2023, 08:51 AM

# 26 (permalink)

Mysteryman

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Location: England

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Just focus on one day at a time, youve got this man.

08-30-2023, 08:53 AM

# 27 (permalink)

RAL

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Join Date: Dec 2020

Posts: 2,693

Can you speak with a counsellor or a helpline FF. At the very least please stay on SR. We are all here for you.

08-30-2023, 09:10 AM

# 28 (permalink)

freedomfries

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I rang the self harm hotline. Didn't help much. I'll probably feel better after I sleep.

08-30-2023, 09:19 AM

# 29 (permalink)

SoberLeigh

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Location: East Coast USA

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Trying to sleep is a good idea, freedomfries, Stay away from all your triggers. Keep us close.

08-30-2023, 03:09 PM

# 30 (permalink)

freedomfries

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Went to AA. Left after fifteen minutes. Someone followed me and we had a chat. I agreed to meet him at the Friday meeting.

I bought vodka on my way to the meeting. Walked around with it for a while. Had the means to kms in my pocket too. I should have stayed at home.

Going to sleep now, still sober.

08-30-2023, 04:05 PM

# 31 (permalink)

Dee74

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Quote:

Had the means to kms in my pocket too.

FF as much as you hate it, maybe you left the facility too soon?

D

08-30-2023, 04:08 PM

# 32 (permalink)

Tetrax

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Can you get out running tomorrow maybe?

08-30-2023, 09:56 PM

# 33 (permalink)

freedomfries

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Tetrax

Can you get out running tomorrow maybe?

Yeah. I'll get a run in after church. It'll be a run/walk struggle since it's been a while and I smoked so much inside.

Feel better today.. Going to mass at 730am. Light a candle for sobriety.

Day 22, let's go.

08-30-2023, 09:58 PM

# 34 (permalink)

freedomfries

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Dee74

FF as much as you hate it, maybe you left the facility too soon?

D

I was self harming a lot once my status was changed from voluntary to involuntary.. I haven't self harmed since leaving. I feel OK now.

08-30-2023, 10:00 PM

# 35 (permalink)

freedomfries

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Good thing I didn't do anything yesterday. If I ended up in ER the day after discharged I'd be facing a long time inside.

08-30-2023, 10:47 PM

# 36 (permalink)

RAL

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Join Date: Dec 2020

Posts: 2,693

I'm glad you got through FF. pour the vodka away if you've not already. Can you speak with someone today maybe set up regular therapy appointments or speak to another helpline

08-30-2023, 11:06 PM

# 37 (permalink)

calmself

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Join Date: May 2018

Posts: 1,956

Quote:

Originally Posted by freedomfries

Good thing I didn't do anything yesterday. If I ended up in ER the day after discharged I'd be facing a long time inside.

Please check out if you can volunteer to stay a long time inside, something in the other of 4 to 6 months. I definitely feel you need that. Buying vodka on day 1.... not good. In my humble opinion, they should not have left you out.

08-30-2023, 11:15 PM

# 38 (permalink)

Steely

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Location: NSW - Australia

Posts: 14,778

Did you ditch the vodka you bought prior to the meeting Freedom?

I hope so. From my experience, a bottle of undrunk vodka usually finishes up drunk.

Make good choices Freedom, even if difficult.