First Time Posting in a Long Time
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Join Date: Nov 2019
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First Time Posting in a Long Time
Hello,
Been a member for a long time, but first time posting in a very long time.
I've been an alcoholic for a good part of the past 15 years, and in recent months it got even worse. I decided since turning 42, it was time to make a change. With the support of friends and family, I checked myself into a 5 days detox program, and since then gotten into intensive outpatient rehab. Things are going good, I would be lying if I said great. Since giving up drinking, I've found myself completely drained of all energy. I'm always tired. My ability to sleep at night has returned to normal, but regardless of how much sleep I get, I'm constantly exhausted. I also find myself dealing with sudden mood changes, one minute I could be happy as can be, 10 minutes later though I could be battling a bout of depression. I've been looking into PAWS quite a bit, and today talked to my peer support specialist about it.
I find myself thinking... when I was drinking, yes I'd be hungover in the morning... but I wasn't always tired like this throughout the day. I know this is just my demon trying to tempt me, or convince me to go back to drinking. I refuse to let that happen. I'm just curious, does this ever go away? I was kind of discouraged today when my peer support specalist told me that people who're a year sober still experience PAWS. Like, is this how I'm going to feel for the rest of my life? Am I'm just going to go through the rest of my life sober, exhausted and battling ever changing mood swings?
I'm proud that today I have been 2 weeks sober, but at the same time when I ask myself am I truly happier now than I was 3 weeks ago when I was drinking? The answer is not only no, but now I feel like I'm even worse off because I'm always tired, battling mood swings, and my attention span and focus is all over the place.
I posted about this on Reddit and of course got nothing of use, most people were rude. I'm just wanting to know if what I'm feeling is normal for recovery, how to deal with it, and if it ever goes away.
Been a member for a long time, but first time posting in a very long time.
I've been an alcoholic for a good part of the past 15 years, and in recent months it got even worse. I decided since turning 42, it was time to make a change. With the support of friends and family, I checked myself into a 5 days detox program, and since then gotten into intensive outpatient rehab. Things are going good, I would be lying if I said great. Since giving up drinking, I've found myself completely drained of all energy. I'm always tired. My ability to sleep at night has returned to normal, but regardless of how much sleep I get, I'm constantly exhausted. I also find myself dealing with sudden mood changes, one minute I could be happy as can be, 10 minutes later though I could be battling a bout of depression. I've been looking into PAWS quite a bit, and today talked to my peer support specialist about it.
I find myself thinking... when I was drinking, yes I'd be hungover in the morning... but I wasn't always tired like this throughout the day. I know this is just my demon trying to tempt me, or convince me to go back to drinking. I refuse to let that happen. I'm just curious, does this ever go away? I was kind of discouraged today when my peer support specalist told me that people who're a year sober still experience PAWS. Like, is this how I'm going to feel for the rest of my life? Am I'm just going to go through the rest of my life sober, exhausted and battling ever changing mood swings?
I'm proud that today I have been 2 weeks sober, but at the same time when I ask myself am I truly happier now than I was 3 weeks ago when I was drinking? The answer is not only no, but now I feel like I'm even worse off because I'm always tired, battling mood swings, and my attention span and focus is all over the place.
I posted about this on Reddit and of course got nothing of use, most people were rude. I'm just wanting to know if what I'm feeling is normal for recovery, how to deal with it, and if it ever goes away.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Two weeks of sobriety is great, so be proud of yourself.
And, yes, it will get easier. Most of us feel discouraged in the early days. It just takes some time for your body, mind and spirit to begin to heal so you can feel better. There are things you can do, such as exercise of some kind, working on hobbies you enjoy, listening to music you love, anything that makes you feel better. And, not everyone gets PAWS.
And, yes, it will get easier. Most of us feel discouraged in the early days. It just takes some time for your body, mind and spirit to begin to heal so you can feel better. There are things you can do, such as exercise of some kind, working on hobbies you enjoy, listening to music you love, anything that makes you feel better. And, not everyone gets PAWS.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,698
Very normal.
It gets much better, though everyone’s timeframe is different.
I was terribly anxious, nauseous, exhausted, and in pain for the first few weeks. Nothing gave me pleasure in the beginning.
Now life is beautiful. Hang in there!
It gets much better, though everyone’s timeframe is different.
I was terribly anxious, nauseous, exhausted, and in pain for the first few weeks. Nothing gave me pleasure in the beginning.
Now life is beautiful. Hang in there!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi and welcome back Devious0ne 
I'm not sure how long you've been a alcoholic drinker but I bet its longer than 2 weeks.
You;re recovering from a serious condition.
I could barely manage to get out of bed my first month - I felt better each day but it still took me about 3 months to get some energy back.
It also took me about the same time to feel joy again - again, mind and body need to heal from the years of punishment we inflicted on ourselves
Your inner addict is trying to push the idea you'll always feel like this sober - and that's just not true - it gets better.
If it didn't no one could ever stay sober.
Stick with it - you are on the right track.
D
I'm not sure how long you've been a alcoholic drinker but I bet its longer than 2 weeks.
You;re recovering from a serious condition.
I could barely manage to get out of bed my first month - I felt better each day but it still took me about 3 months to get some energy back.
It also took me about the same time to feel joy again - again, mind and body need to heal from the years of punishment we inflicted on ourselves
Your inner addict is trying to push the idea you'll always feel like this sober - and that's just not true - it gets better.
If it didn't no one could ever stay sober.
Stick with it - you are on the right track.
D
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Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 84
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi and welcome back Devious0ne
I'm not sure how long you've been a alcoholic drinker but I bet its longer than 2 weeks.
You;re recovering from a serious condition.
I could barely manage to get out of bed my first month - I felt better each day but it still took me about 3 months to get some energy back.
It also took me about the same time to feel joy again - again, mind and body need to heal from the years of punishment we inflicted on ourselves
Your inner addict is trying to push the idea you'll always feel like this sober - and that's just not true - it gets better.
If it didn't no one could ever stay sober.
Stick with it - you are on the right track.
D
I'm not sure how long you've been a alcoholic drinker but I bet its longer than 2 weeks.
You;re recovering from a serious condition.
I could barely manage to get out of bed my first month - I felt better each day but it still took me about 3 months to get some energy back.
It also took me about the same time to feel joy again - again, mind and body need to heal from the years of punishment we inflicted on ourselves
Your inner addict is trying to push the idea you'll always feel like this sober - and that's just not true - it gets better.
If it didn't no one could ever stay sober.
Stick with it - you are on the right track.
D
More than ever, I now have an understanding of what is meant by "one day at a time". Before I had no clue what that meant, but over the past 2 weeks it became clear what that means, and how important it is.
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Join Date: Nov 2019
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I'm also happy to be back on this forum. As I said, I first came on here several years back, but wasn't exactly ready for the sober life but often came for advice. I'm glad to have this as another resource and place that I can come to and lean on others who has been through this exact thing for support.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Originally Posted by Devious0ne
I've been a drinker for a good part of 15 years, I'd say hardcore for the past 8 (drinking every single night, blowing through 18+ beers a night, etc). To be able to say I've been two weeks sober today is quite something that I am proud of. I hardly ever went a single day without drinking. It hasn't been easy, but I got a great support system in place now, along with intensive outpatient rehab, AA meetings and doing other things to take care of myself. I started taking vitamin B12 and a few others, so far seems to help some with the fatigue. It's better now than it was at the start. I refuse to let myself go back to the way I was, I will fight whatever battle comes up each day.
More than ever, I now have an understanding of what is meant by "one day at a time". Before I had no clue what that meant, but over the past 2 weeks it became clear what that means, and how important it is.
More than ever, I now have an understanding of what is meant by "one day at a time". Before I had no clue what that meant, but over the past 2 weeks it became clear what that means, and how important it is.
Its the start of the journey tho - not the end - things improve
D
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 1,704
Congratulations on 2 weeks. Just to echo what Dee and others said, it will take time to heal. I spent my early sobriety learning about what alcohol does to your body. Alcohol really takes a toll on it. It hurts pretty much every organ. Give your body the time and you will feel better. I really like Willam Porter’s “Alcohol Explained” books. There are two. I also like “Under the Influence” by James Milam. Both authors explain it very well.
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Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Near the mountains
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Two weeks is a long time to stay sober, congrats on that. My experience hasn't been what I'd define as PAWS, but I was definitely quite tired the first month plus. I'm only four months in now and my energy levels are pretty high. Sleep is also great.
When I started this time I told myself that there's no going back. Even if I felt like crap being sober for the rest of my life I was gonna deal with it sober. I still have times where I feel amazing one minute and depressed or anxious the next too. I don't expect that to go away in my case.
Overall life has gotten so much better!
When I started this time I told myself that there's no going back. Even if I felt like crap being sober for the rest of my life I was gonna deal with it sober. I still have times where I feel amazing one minute and depressed or anxious the next too. I don't expect that to go away in my case.
Overall life has gotten so much better!
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
Hi, DevO - Many congrats on your two weeks, and even more on your commitment to yourself. Stay strong and take it slow, you will have some ups and downs for a bit but NOTHING like the roller coaster of a drinking life. It takes awhile for our mind and bodies to recover, but they do. Glad to have you here.
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 433
Two weeks sober is wonderful.
From my experience we're around the same age and amount consumed, I remember after the initial detox the weekends I could sleep 12/14 hours per day and still feel tired. I was tired at work and once home a quick shower maybe a small snack or meal and I hit bed hard. Your body is going through a tremendous catch up and repair period since alcohol is removed, it's natural to feel tired even exhausted. Extreme high and lows in energy, patience, mood will begin to level out with a little more time.
From my experience we're around the same age and amount consumed, I remember after the initial detox the weekends I could sleep 12/14 hours per day and still feel tired. I was tired at work and once home a quick shower maybe a small snack or meal and I hit bed hard. Your body is going through a tremendous catch up and repair period since alcohol is removed, it's natural to feel tired even exhausted. Extreme high and lows in energy, patience, mood will begin to level out with a little more time.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
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Hi Devious - I'm so glad you posted. Congratulations on your 2 wks. sober.
In the early days I was very relieved to be free of it - but I definitely felt a bit strange and disoriented. I'd been numbing myself for a long time. Raw emotions & feelings took a while to get used to. Everything got better the stronger I became. It took a few months, but I began to feel happiness and joy again. Eventually, I found my authentic self. She had been missing for a long time.
Be patient & kind to yourself. You're healing & getting used to living in a whole new way.
In the early days I was very relieved to be free of it - but I definitely felt a bit strange and disoriented. I'd been numbing myself for a long time. Raw emotions & feelings took a while to get used to. Everything got better the stronger I became. It took a few months, but I began to feel happiness and joy again. Eventually, I found my authentic self. She had been missing for a long time.
Be patient & kind to yourself. You're healing & getting used to living in a whole new way.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Congratulations on two weeks, and good for you for going to Detox and IOP.
I remember feeling the exact same way as you are right now, I was exhausted and anxious. I found that getting outdoors for a walk was really helpful. I also started working on mindfulness techniques, breathing, listening to different mindfulness apps. I am over seven years sober, and I still do both of these things.
I promise it gets better, and I promise sobriety is worth it.
I remember feeling the exact same way as you are right now, I was exhausted and anxious. I found that getting outdoors for a walk was really helpful. I also started working on mindfulness techniques, breathing, listening to different mindfulness apps. I am over seven years sober, and I still do both of these things.
I promise it gets better, and I promise sobriety is worth it.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
Congratulations on 2 weeks sober!
Unfortunately, being sober for 2 weeks is not going to immediately undo the previous 15 years of drinking. That's going to take time, probably months. I found that 1 year of sobriety was a significant milestone for me as I got to experience a sober Christmas, birthday, and all of the other events in my life that occur during the year. That was a confidence boost. It takes some time, but just take things "one day at a time" and you will get there.
As far as fatigue goes, exercise can really help. Find some physical activities you enjoy and do something every day, even if it's just a short walk on somedays.
Unfortunately, being sober for 2 weeks is not going to immediately undo the previous 15 years of drinking. That's going to take time, probably months. I found that 1 year of sobriety was a significant milestone for me as I got to experience a sober Christmas, birthday, and all of the other events in my life that occur during the year. That was a confidence boost. It takes some time, but just take things "one day at a time" and you will get there.
As far as fatigue goes, exercise can really help. Find some physical activities you enjoy and do something every day, even if it's just a short walk on somedays.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
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Great job, going from that level of drinking to sobriety. Seriously. It will get better fast - after 30 days you will notice sleep and general energy levels improving, however it's important to note that the body and brain have a lot of healing to do. It doesn't happen overnight. And surprisingly, it's often our brain that throws us a curveball. Alcohol initially provides a lift, but after awhile the brain compensates and levels of dopamine, GABA and other "feel good" brain chemicals drop. So when you take the booze away we are left with a hypersensitive brain that reacts to everything and our general mood is often low. We are usually below "baseline" for several months. People often relapse during this timeframe due to increased emotions - anxiety, irritability, mental confusiion, etc.
This will not last. The brain will rewire itself - the various neurotransmitters and receptors will get back into balance, and in 6 months you will be in good shape. But it is not a straight line between here and there - there will be ups and downs. Just trust that it will happen, and whatever you do - when it gets difficult - do not take that first drink! I will add that it is very important to get plenty of rest, exercise, and eat a healthy diet - all of which will contribute to mood stabilization and faster healing.
This will not last. The brain will rewire itself - the various neurotransmitters and receptors will get back into balance, and in 6 months you will be in good shape. But it is not a straight line between here and there - there will be ups and downs. Just trust that it will happen, and whatever you do - when it gets difficult - do not take that first drink! I will add that it is very important to get plenty of rest, exercise, and eat a healthy diet - all of which will contribute to mood stabilization and faster healing.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I wouldn't be too quick to try to diagnose anything other than alcohol cessation. I didn't want to start on any new pharmaceuticals - and that's what a doctor will do. Meds.
It took me a few months (like about nine months) to actually feel good most of the time. I did it without medication, because I've taken medication in the past and it just causes more side-effects. Everything is working as designed now that I don't add alcohol.
What advbike says is right on, in my experience.
It took me a few months (like about nine months) to actually feel good most of the time. I did it without medication, because I've taken medication in the past and it just causes more side-effects. Everything is working as designed now that I don't add alcohol.
What advbike says is right on, in my experience.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Alabama
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Originally Posted by advbike
Great job, going from that level of drinking to sobriety. Seriously. It will get better fast - after 30 days you will notice sleep and general energy levels improving, however it's important to note that the body and brain have a lot of healing to do. It doesn't happen overnight. And surprisingly, it's often our brain that throws us a curveball. Alcohol initially provides a lift, but after awhile the brain compensates and levels of dopamine, GABA and other "feel good" brain chemicals drop. So when you take the booze away we are left with a hypersensitive brain that reacts to everything and our general mood is often low. We are usually below "baseline" for several months. People often relapse during this timeframe due to increased emotions - anxiety, irritability, mental confusiion, etc.
This will not last. The brain will rewire itself - the various neurotransmitters and receptors will get back into balance, and in 6 months you will be in good shape. But it is not a straight line between here and there - there will be ups and downs. Just trust that it will happen, and whatever you do - when it gets difficult - do not take that first drink! I will add that it is very important to get plenty of rest, exercise, and eat a healthy diet - all of which will contribute to mood stabilization and faster healing.
This will not last. The brain will rewire itself - the various neurotransmitters and receptors will get back into balance, and in 6 months you will be in good shape. But it is not a straight line between here and there - there will be ups and downs. Just trust that it will happen, and whatever you do - when it gets difficult - do not take that first drink! I will add that it is very important to get plenty of rest, exercise, and eat a healthy diet - all of which will contribute to mood stabilization and faster healing.
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