Overwhelmed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 132
Overwhelmed
Good morning all,
I'm not sure that I'm a newcomer to recovery, but I have heard that anyone with under 3-years is not yet in "long term recovery." Anyhow, I thought I'd post here because of that.
I'm so overwhelmed, and I'm wondering what you do when you get that way.
I resigned from a job at the beginning of March, I got a new job that I ended up quitting after only a week because I felt unqualified. I found a lump in my breast so I got a mammogram and an ultrasound, and the doctor found something in my opposite breast that needs to be biopsied next week. The original lump was of no concern, because he could not see it via ultrasound or mammogram. I take Adderall and the company that I'm going back to work for has done a drug panel test on me which tested positive for amphetamines (obviously,) so they sent it to the lab to get retested. The whole process is just making me ill. I don't want people knowing about the medications I take! I feel like it's a violation.
My boyfriend has so much anxiety that it feeds into me. He moves ballistically, so I just try to stay out of the way. His anxiousness feeds into my anxiety, making my anxiety worse than it already is. I'm aware that nobody is in control of my own feelings, but my anxiety goes deeper than just a feeling. Not to be funny, but it's seemingly a way of life for me.
Anyhow, I just had to vent and usually I do it on my blog, but I needed to know that someone somewhere was reading what I was writing, and it all was not for nothing.
I'm not sure that I'm a newcomer to recovery, but I have heard that anyone with under 3-years is not yet in "long term recovery." Anyhow, I thought I'd post here because of that.
I'm so overwhelmed, and I'm wondering what you do when you get that way.
I resigned from a job at the beginning of March, I got a new job that I ended up quitting after only a week because I felt unqualified. I found a lump in my breast so I got a mammogram and an ultrasound, and the doctor found something in my opposite breast that needs to be biopsied next week. The original lump was of no concern, because he could not see it via ultrasound or mammogram. I take Adderall and the company that I'm going back to work for has done a drug panel test on me which tested positive for amphetamines (obviously,) so they sent it to the lab to get retested. The whole process is just making me ill. I don't want people knowing about the medications I take! I feel like it's a violation.
My boyfriend has so much anxiety that it feeds into me. He moves ballistically, so I just try to stay out of the way. His anxiousness feeds into my anxiety, making my anxiety worse than it already is. I'm aware that nobody is in control of my own feelings, but my anxiety goes deeper than just a feeling. Not to be funny, but it's seemingly a way of life for me.
Anyhow, I just had to vent and usually I do it on my blog, but I needed to know that someone somewhere was reading what I was writing, and it all was not for nothing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2023
Posts: 279
You've come to the right place! 
Some things that help me:
Some things that help me:- physically slowing down my moves and deep "box" breathing
- avoiding the ballistic person physically too, gray rocking and not feeding into their chaos
- remembering "one day at a time", especially when things get overwhelming. sometimes it's even one hour at a time
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,909
Hi WindPines 
I get bad anxiety too….I even remain single because I’m better off by myself…anyway, hope all goes well with the job and the biopsy. Do you like YouTube? They have all types of guided meditations for anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, etc….I do them all the time.
Hugs!
I get bad anxiety too….I even remain single because I’m better off by myself…anyway, hope all goes well with the job and the biopsy. Do you like YouTube? They have all types of guided meditations for anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, etc….I do them all the time.
Hugs! 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
That's a lot, Windpines, but you're able to make it through.
What I would do is a lot of self care stuff and take it one day at a time.
I have a couple sticky notes around my house with meaningful phrases when I'm going through stuff.
One day at a time, lovely.
What I would do is a lot of self care stuff and take it one day at a time.
I have a couple sticky notes around my house with meaningful phrases when I'm going through stuff.
One day at a time, lovely.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
Two quotes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous come to mind:
(1) "Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem."
(2) "[T]he program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be. Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems."
Importantly, for me, is that I have come to conclude that there is a type of alcoholic/addict for whom nothing other than fully committing to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous will allow them to gain access to that Power that can solve all their problems. I have no idea whether you, like me, are that type (or if you are an alcoholic/addict at all) -- but I am here to encourage you to keep an open mind about the possibility that your solution, perhaps your only solution, may lie in fully committing to the recovery program of A.A.
(1) "Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem."
(2) "[T]he program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be. Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems."
Importantly, for me, is that I have come to conclude that there is a type of alcoholic/addict for whom nothing other than fully committing to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous will allow them to gain access to that Power that can solve all their problems. I have no idea whether you, like me, are that type (or if you are an alcoholic/addict at all) -- but I am here to encourage you to keep an open mind about the possibility that your solution, perhaps your only solution, may lie in fully committing to the recovery program of A.A.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,340
Hi WP, I was just thinking about you the other day. We are here, and we care.
Glad the first lump is nothing, and that another was found that will be tested. It’s great we can detect if there’s a problem early in our chest.
As far as stress reducing, I’ve been cutting out people and things in my life that I can, and setting boundaries after identifying them, and THEN keeping to them. I’m better at it now that I’m moving forward to completing year 2 this summer.
Trust your gut on the boyfriend. He is causing you angst is what I’m reading, and it’s the core of who he is, how he moves etc. You can’t change that, but you can change whether he’s in your life. It’s hard when we don’t hate someone, but we become aware it’s just not working toward our goal.
Drug testing. They need to know you’re not on meth, They have to adhere to the HIPPAA act as well. Usually an independent lab tests from the HR department, they don’t share that with your boss and coworkers. You can’t change this, most jobs that are decent drug test. The testing also assures you that they haven’t hired anyone with a drug problem, and they should be able to complete their fair share of job duties.
Adderall. I’m sorry you feel ashamed for taking it, but if it’s worth anything, needing medicinal help that a scientist has formulated to,treat conditions is NOT shameful. Many people you meet in daily life are on medicinal help for all kinds of ailments from depression, to diabetes, to high blood pressure.
Congrats on being rehired. You need to show them the prescription for meds, If you didn’t write that down as meds you are taking, you still have a chance to say you forgot. If you insist you aren’t taking it, and it tests positive again, that might be a problem.
Big hugs
Glad the first lump is nothing, and that another was found that will be tested. It’s great we can detect if there’s a problem early in our chest.
As far as stress reducing, I’ve been cutting out people and things in my life that I can, and setting boundaries after identifying them, and THEN keeping to them. I’m better at it now that I’m moving forward to completing year 2 this summer.
Trust your gut on the boyfriend. He is causing you angst is what I’m reading, and it’s the core of who he is, how he moves etc. You can’t change that, but you can change whether he’s in your life. It’s hard when we don’t hate someone, but we become aware it’s just not working toward our goal.
Drug testing. They need to know you’re not on meth, They have to adhere to the HIPPAA act as well. Usually an independent lab tests from the HR department, they don’t share that with your boss and coworkers. You can’t change this, most jobs that are decent drug test. The testing also assures you that they haven’t hired anyone with a drug problem, and they should be able to complete their fair share of job duties.
Adderall. I’m sorry you feel ashamed for taking it, but if it’s worth anything, needing medicinal help that a scientist has formulated to,treat conditions is NOT shameful. Many people you meet in daily life are on medicinal help for all kinds of ailments from depression, to diabetes, to high blood pressure.
Congrats on being rehired. You need to show them the prescription for meds, If you didn’t write that down as meds you are taking, you still have a chance to say you forgot. If you insist you aren’t taking it, and it tests positive again, that might be a problem.
Big hugs
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
WindPines, I'm glad to hear that the lump in your breast is of no consequence. Hopefully the biopsy next week will have the same result. It seems fairly common for companies to do drug-testing. Understandably, you value your privacy and this is a cause for concern. Hopefully, the test results would be seen by a very limited number of people in your company and your privacy would be respected.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi WindPines. I'm so glad you posted about your feelings. I think that in itself helps to lessen anxiety.
I hope you'll continue to talk about what's going on. We care about you.
I hope you'll continue to talk about what's going on. We care about you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2023
Posts: 19
I can definitely relate. When you’re in the whirlwind the way out is never all that clear (I’m not out a year later!). Value yourself and your efforts even if others don’t see it and don’t recognize it. You don’t know what calm will look like, but you deserve it and will find it if you keep going. The hard things between here and there aren’t your fault, they’re your accomplishments.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Wind Pines,
I’m sorry you have all that happening right now, but I’m glad you came here for help and support.
No one does this alone
I’m hoping the medical tests will show you have nothing to be worried about, and that result will help your partner and their anxiety.
Work drug tests are everywhere now and I wouldn’t take it personally. I wouldn’t worry about a prescription drug either, so long as you have a script for it.
The results of such tests should be confidential.
take care
D
I’m sorry you have all that happening right now, but I’m glad you came here for help and support.
No one does this alone
I’m hoping the medical tests will show you have nothing to be worried about, and that result will help your partner and their anxiety.
Work drug tests are everywhere now and I wouldn’t take it personally. I wouldn’t worry about a prescription drug either, so long as you have a script for it.
The results of such tests should be confidential.
take care
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
Wow that sounds like quite a stressful time for you. I am sorry for all that you are going through. These tests are all so stressful and especially when they are all at the same time. If they know you take adderall as a prescription you know you will be ok. I am sorry that you also have to deal with the anxiety of your partner at the same time. Do you have a close friend or a parent you can talk with? It always helps me to reach out and talk to someone when I am going through periods of high stress. I hope everything goes well. Sending you lots of support
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
You are definitely in the right place! I also deal with anxiety, and I find going for walks in nature, breathing techniques, sketching, and journaling are all helpful.
I am an educator, so I’ve had to take a drug test any time I have changed districts. I disclosed the medications I took due to anxiety. I remember panicking because they needed to contact my doctor to make sure that the anxiety wouldn’t interfere with my work. It was fine, I have had anxiety since I was young, and still manage to be laser focused at work.
Look into some mindfulness apps this week. Calm is one that I use.
I am an educator, so I’ve had to take a drug test any time I have changed districts. I disclosed the medications I took due to anxiety. I remember panicking because they needed to contact my doctor to make sure that the anxiety wouldn’t interfere with my work. It was fine, I have had anxiety since I was young, and still manage to be laser focused at work.
Look into some mindfulness apps this week. Calm is one that I use.
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