Hey!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2022
Posts: 23
Hey!
Hello everyone,
My name is Ben and I'm from London, England. I have been reading the forum as a guest for a little while now and thought I'd sign up so that I can chat with people in similar situations to myself.
So a bit about me, I have been addicted to alcohol and misused other substances for a long time. I remember the first time I got plastered when I was 13 years old, way too young to be going anywhere near it (I'm in my 40s now). Nothing else has latched on to me in the same way as alcohol and I'm having a real hard time shaking it off. I have decided to reach out for help as my life has hit a dead end at a ripe age. It was one of the reasons why my wife left me.
I'm not an all day drinker but I certainly make up for it in the evenings. I use it as a coping mechanism, to unwind from a hard days work. I have a decent job although I'm not sure how I have managed to hold on to it. I suppose you could say that I am a functional alcoholic and I'm very good at hiding my dependence. I think only family and friends really know, although I get the feeling that work colleagues are suspicious. I'll do things such as avoiding work socials where there is alcohol involved so they cannot see how much I am capable of tipping down my neck.
The first thing I do when I arrive home from work is reach for the fridge and grab a cold can of lager (pint sized can). That can disappear down my throat in a matter of minutes. I love the feeling of it trickling down my neck, it's like bliss. Then I'll go through a couple more like that while I am cooking my dinner. During dinner, out comes a bottle of wine (red or white depending on what I am eating) and that normally disappears during the course of the meal. Then I'll maybe reach for the spirits before bed (gin, vodka and whiskeys are my favourites).
So all in all far too much and it has got to the stage where it has screwed up my life. I have gone through some dry spells, I went cold turkey after 6 years of drinking every evening. That was hideous. I suffered fever like symptoms, shakes, practically zero appetite and pains in my liver and kidneys. That lasted about 2-3 days and then I was plagued with the psychological issues thereafter. Instability of mood, feeling hollow and depressed. I didn't want to talk anyone etc. I sort of wallowed in self pity.
I managed 14 days of abstinence. Week days were OK as I kept myself busy at work and did a lot of exercise. But when it got to the weekends it was soooo boring sitting there in front of the TV drinking either cups of tea, cranberry juice or water. So I would have a couple of beers and half a bottle of wine on a Saturday night. That then turned in to Friday night and Saturday night but Sunday to Thursday I could just about stay away from it by going to the gym instead.
A few months later I went away for a long weekend break with the lads, it was for a friends stag party which mostly entailed drinking a very large consumption of alcohol for 3 days straight. Next thing I know I am back to daily drinking again and it's been like that for a year.
I know that I will need to go completely tee-total when I finally detox again although I'm not looking forward to it.
Some questions I have, how did you manage to get away from it? Did it involve making new friends and distancing yourself from others who love a tipple? My trouble is that in social situations with my friends it involves drinking. I seem to be surrounded by people who love doing it including some family members.
Thank you for reading.
Ben
My name is Ben and I'm from London, England. I have been reading the forum as a guest for a little while now and thought I'd sign up so that I can chat with people in similar situations to myself.
So a bit about me, I have been addicted to alcohol and misused other substances for a long time. I remember the first time I got plastered when I was 13 years old, way too young to be going anywhere near it (I'm in my 40s now). Nothing else has latched on to me in the same way as alcohol and I'm having a real hard time shaking it off. I have decided to reach out for help as my life has hit a dead end at a ripe age. It was one of the reasons why my wife left me.
I'm not an all day drinker but I certainly make up for it in the evenings. I use it as a coping mechanism, to unwind from a hard days work. I have a decent job although I'm not sure how I have managed to hold on to it. I suppose you could say that I am a functional alcoholic and I'm very good at hiding my dependence. I think only family and friends really know, although I get the feeling that work colleagues are suspicious. I'll do things such as avoiding work socials where there is alcohol involved so they cannot see how much I am capable of tipping down my neck.
The first thing I do when I arrive home from work is reach for the fridge and grab a cold can of lager (pint sized can). That can disappear down my throat in a matter of minutes. I love the feeling of it trickling down my neck, it's like bliss. Then I'll go through a couple more like that while I am cooking my dinner. During dinner, out comes a bottle of wine (red or white depending on what I am eating) and that normally disappears during the course of the meal. Then I'll maybe reach for the spirits before bed (gin, vodka and whiskeys are my favourites).
So all in all far too much and it has got to the stage where it has screwed up my life. I have gone through some dry spells, I went cold turkey after 6 years of drinking every evening. That was hideous. I suffered fever like symptoms, shakes, practically zero appetite and pains in my liver and kidneys. That lasted about 2-3 days and then I was plagued with the psychological issues thereafter. Instability of mood, feeling hollow and depressed. I didn't want to talk anyone etc. I sort of wallowed in self pity.
I managed 14 days of abstinence. Week days were OK as I kept myself busy at work and did a lot of exercise. But when it got to the weekends it was soooo boring sitting there in front of the TV drinking either cups of tea, cranberry juice or water. So I would have a couple of beers and half a bottle of wine on a Saturday night. That then turned in to Friday night and Saturday night but Sunday to Thursday I could just about stay away from it by going to the gym instead.
A few months later I went away for a long weekend break with the lads, it was for a friends stag party which mostly entailed drinking a very large consumption of alcohol for 3 days straight. Next thing I know I am back to daily drinking again and it's been like that for a year.
I know that I will need to go completely tee-total when I finally detox again although I'm not looking forward to it.
Some questions I have, how did you manage to get away from it? Did it involve making new friends and distancing yourself from others who love a tipple? My trouble is that in social situations with my friends it involves drinking. I seem to be surrounded by people who love doing it including some family members.
Thank you for reading.
Ben
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Hi Ben! I'm so glad you joined us. We're an encouraging, friendly group. When I first came here I instantly felt my anxiety lessen.
I hope others will have some suggestions about how they got away from it. I drank 30 yrs. & it was destroying me - so I really had no choice, it was quit or die. For me, memories of some of the horrific things I said and did haunted me & I knew I couldn't risk ever again living the crazy life I had been.
I had to learn that for me it could never be 'just one' - once it was in my system, off I went. I can't touch a drop. I spent too many years trying to moderate or control the amounts & it was never possible. Reckless behavior always ensued.
We're glad you're here, Ben. You're doing a wise thing for yourself.
I hope others will have some suggestions about how they got away from it. I drank 30 yrs. & it was destroying me - so I really had no choice, it was quit or die. For me, memories of some of the horrific things I said and did haunted me & I knew I couldn't risk ever again living the crazy life I had been.
I had to learn that for me it could never be 'just one' - once it was in my system, off I went. I can't touch a drop. I spent too many years trying to moderate or control the amounts & it was never possible. Reckless behavior always ensued.
We're glad you're here, Ben. You're doing a wise thing for yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2022
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by Hevyn 
Hi Ben! I'm so glad you joined us. We're an encouraging, friendly group. When I first came here I instantly felt my anxiety lessen.
I hope others will have some suggestions about how they got away from it. I drank 30 yrs. & it was destroying me - so I really had no choice, it was quit or die. For me, memories of some of the horrific things I said and did haunted me & I knew I couldn't risk ever again living the crazy life I had been.
I had to learn that for me it could never be 'just one' - once it was in my system, off I went. I can't touch a drop. I spent too many years trying to moderate or control the amounts & it was never possible. Reckless behavior always ensued.
We're glad you're here, Ben. You're doing a wise thing for yourself.
I hope others will have some suggestions about how they got away from it. I drank 30 yrs. & it was destroying me - so I really had no choice, it was quit or die. For me, memories of some of the horrific things I said and did haunted me & I knew I couldn't risk ever again living the crazy life I had been.
I had to learn that for me it could never be 'just one' - once it was in my system, off I went. I can't touch a drop. I spent too many years trying to moderate or control the amounts & it was never possible. Reckless behavior always ensued.
We're glad you're here, Ben. You're doing a wise thing for yourself.
Hi Hevyn, thank you for the warm welcome :o)
Yes this forum does appear to be a welcoming and friendly place - I'm glad to be onboard. H'mm, I know what you mean. I have said some terrible things to my nearest and dearest while I was pickled. Stuff which I didn't really mean, I took things out on them and it's cost me a lot - pushing people away as they'd had enough of me.
If you don't mind me asking, how long did it take you to get away from this and feel well? Did you taper down gradually or quit cold turkey?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Welcome, Ben, to SR.
I was older than you are now when I started drinking alcoholically; prior to that I had been a rather normal drinker; it seems, though, that once you have ‘crossed that line’ between normal drinking and alcoholic drinking, there is no going back even into moderate drinking; I had many, many failed experiments.
It does take time and considerable effort to regain a sense of normalcy in life after an alcoholic career - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally; the first several months (sometimes longer) can be a true roller coaster ride. The good news, though, is that sobriety and a good life in recovery is so very possible and so very rewarding.
Have you thought about joining an SR Class; participating in a a class is a great way to connect and share with folks going through early sobriety. Here is the link to the current class:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Class Of December 2022 Part One)
I was older than you are now when I started drinking alcoholically; prior to that I had been a rather normal drinker; it seems, though, that once you have ‘crossed that line’ between normal drinking and alcoholic drinking, there is no going back even into moderate drinking; I had many, many failed experiments.
It does take time and considerable effort to regain a sense of normalcy in life after an alcoholic career - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally; the first several months (sometimes longer) can be a true roller coaster ride. The good news, though, is that sobriety and a good life in recovery is so very possible and so very rewarding.
Have you thought about joining an SR Class; participating in a a class is a great way to connect and share with folks going through early sobriety. Here is the link to the current class:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Class Of December 2022 Part One)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 12,490
Welcome Ben, I hope this day finds you well. For me the only thing that works is complete abstinence. There is no moderation for me. I was going down a path that was not good at all and almost lost everything that is important to me. I can't speak for having friends that drink because my husband and I are loners and do not spend much time with friends. I wish you the very best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2022
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
Welcome, Ben, to SR.
I was older than you are now when I started drinking alcoholically; prior to that I had been a rather normal drinker; it seems, though, that once you have ‘crossed that line’ between normal drinking and alcoholic drinking, there is no going back even into moderate drinking; I had many, many failed experiments.
It does take time and considerable effort to regain a sense of normalcy in life after an alcoholic career - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally; the first several months (sometimes longer) can be a true roller coaster ride. The good news, though, is that sobriety and a good life in recovery is so very possible and so very rewarding.
Have you thought about joining an SR Class; participating in a a class is a great way to connect and share with folks going through early sobriety. Here is the link to the current class:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Class Of December 2022 Part One)
I was older than you are now when I started drinking alcoholically; prior to that I had been a rather normal drinker; it seems, though, that once you have ‘crossed that line’ between normal drinking and alcoholic drinking, there is no going back even into moderate drinking; I had many, many failed experiments.
It does take time and considerable effort to regain a sense of normalcy in life after an alcoholic career - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally; the first several months (sometimes longer) can be a true roller coaster ride. The good news, though, is that sobriety and a good life in recovery is so very possible and so very rewarding.
Have you thought about joining an SR Class; participating in a a class is a great way to connect and share with folks going through early sobriety. Here is the link to the current class:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-one.html (Class Of December 2022 Part One)
Hi SoberLeigh, and thank you for the message and welcome :o)
Can I ask, where do you think that line is? I've clearly already crossed it as I wouldn't be here otherwise.
Thank you for the class suggestion, I'll take a look.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2022
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by Alpine
Welcome Ben, I hope this day finds you well. For me the only thing that works is complete abstinence. There is no moderation for me. I was going down a path that was not good at all and almost lost everything that is important to me. I can't speak for having friends that drink because my husband and I are loners and do not spend much time with friends. I wish you the very best.
Yes I feel the same, I don't think I can do moderation either. Although what is moderation? Once a week? Twice a week?
I've got some ideas, I'll probably move away when I'm ready. I am surrounded by people whose lives revolve around being intoxicated. They aren't helping.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Originally Posted by BenfromLondon
Hi SoberLeigh, and thank you for the message and welcome :o)
Can I ask, where do you think that line is? I've clearly already crossed it as I wouldn't be here otherwise.
Thank you for the class suggestion, I'll take a look.
Can I ask, where do you think that line is? I've clearly already crossed it as I wouldn't be here otherwise.
Thank you for the class suggestion, I'll take a look.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Ben - It isn't recommended, but I was afraid of a bad reaction to quitting cold turkey - so I tapered. (I'd been drinking 'round the clock, which you have not been.) It took me 2 days & I poured what was left down the drain and that was it. It was beer, and it tasted like poison to me at the end. After that, I felt a little disoriented for a few days - but was so grateful to be free of it.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,962
Welcome Ben to the SR community.
I was an alcohol/drug abuser like an alcoholic, alcohol abuse started plunged my life in to ruin.
From my experience the SoberRecovery program of action is;
Post daily
Engage with your peers here.
Learn from your peers here that have been there
and now are free of the sickness of addiction.
Help those still suffering with addiction here.
No matter how time you have, a day or decades,
everybody has something to offer, even you. "you get what you give away"
Try the 24-hour plan: put the past and future on hold and concern yourself with only staying sober today/now!
One Day At A time - Just For Today I will not use. Make sobriety your number one priority.
Namaste
Will
I was an alcohol/drug abuser like an alcoholic, alcohol abuse started plunged my life in to ruin.
From my experience the SoberRecovery program of action is;
Post daily
Engage with your peers here.
Learn from your peers here that have been there
and now are free of the sickness of addiction.
Help those still suffering with addiction here.
No matter how time you have, a day or decades,
everybody has something to offer, even you. "you get what you give away"
Try the 24-hour plan: put the past and future on hold and concern yourself with only staying sober today/now!
One Day At A time - Just For Today I will not use. Make sobriety your number one priority.
Namaste
Will
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome aboard Ben 
I had to change my life because my life was all about drinking.
I lost some mates but my real friends (even the ones who drank like I did) were concerned about my drinking and supported my decision to stop.
support really made the difference for me - and you'll find a lot of that here
read around and post as often as you like.
D
I had to change my life because my life was all about drinking.
I lost some mates but my real friends (even the ones who drank like I did) were concerned about my drinking and supported my decision to stop.
support really made the difference for me - and you'll find a lot of that here
read around and post as often as you like.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Hi Ben and Welcome,
I had to make a lot of lifestyle changes to support my recovery. That was the only way it was going to work for me. I hope you do whatever it takes to get and stay sober because this disease is relentless. We're here for you.
I had to make a lot of lifestyle changes to support my recovery. That was the only way it was going to work for me. I hope you do whatever it takes to get and stay sober because this disease is relentless. We're here for you.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Hi Ben! 
You'll find lots of support here. What some people do is go to a detox facility for a week to detox under medical supervision so you get meds that help take the edge off of your withdrawal and it's not so awful as going cold turkey.
You'll find lots of support here. What some people do is go to a detox facility for a week to detox under medical supervision so you get meds that help take the edge off of your withdrawal and it's not so awful as going cold turkey.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,061
Hi Ben from London, I am Kaily from London so we are practically neighbours
I was drinking in a similar way to you for a lot of years, managing (most) days to get to work. I looked forward to those evening drinks all day long and justified it in so many ways. I too avoided social contact with work colleagues as I knew they would be shocked by the Jekyll and Hyde character I was. I needed my job too much. I had other friends to go and get blackout drunk with, at this point although drinking a significant amount everyday weekends were for partying until falling over.
Then I had to stop working due to ill health and my drinking increased. A few years after that I lost my partner in a tragic accident and up it ramped again. I fell into bad company and soon learn't that drinking all day long eliminated all the pain I was feeling. By the end I was drinking between 750ml and a litre of vodka plus beer and wine every single day at home alone. I had lost any semblance of control it was a living hell.
I went to AA in desperation but it was never for me. I asked my GP for help who sent me to alcohol services. They wouldn't medicate me through withdrawals as I live alone and it was deemed too dangerous but they all kept telling me it was too dangerous to stop. I felt like I was caught between a rock and hard place so I drank more.
I was on this forum but not in a big way. I would pop in now and again, beg for help then disappear again. Eventually at the age of 55 I gave it everything I had. I was on here for hours everyday. Walking to the point of exhaustion and fighting for my life. I am now 4 years sober. It wasn't easy, it was like going against my bodies wishes. A fight for life not for the faint hearted
I hope you can stop now before things escalate like they did for me.
I was drinking in a similar way to you for a lot of years, managing (most) days to get to work. I looked forward to those evening drinks all day long and justified it in so many ways. I too avoided social contact with work colleagues as I knew they would be shocked by the Jekyll and Hyde character I was. I needed my job too much. I had other friends to go and get blackout drunk with, at this point although drinking a significant amount everyday weekends were for partying until falling over.
Then I had to stop working due to ill health and my drinking increased. A few years after that I lost my partner in a tragic accident and up it ramped again. I fell into bad company and soon learn't that drinking all day long eliminated all the pain I was feeling. By the end I was drinking between 750ml and a litre of vodka plus beer and wine every single day at home alone. I had lost any semblance of control it was a living hell.
I went to AA in desperation but it was never for me. I asked my GP for help who sent me to alcohol services. They wouldn't medicate me through withdrawals as I live alone and it was deemed too dangerous but they all kept telling me it was too dangerous to stop. I felt like I was caught between a rock and hard place so I drank more.
I was on this forum but not in a big way. I would pop in now and again, beg for help then disappear again. Eventually at the age of 55 I gave it everything I had. I was on here for hours everyday. Walking to the point of exhaustion and fighting for my life. I am now 4 years sober. It wasn't easy, it was like going against my bodies wishes. A fight for life not for the faint hearted
I hope you can stop now before things escalate like they did for me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 1,318
Hi Ben
Welcome, you've come to a great place for help.
The things that helped me the most is posting and reading here daily, listening to an insane amount of quit lit and having the courage the put myself to first by saying no to some people or invitations (eventually they stop asking if/why your not drinking and will juet be glad to see you).
I was never an all day/everyday drinker and I think I was far worse on my 20's than just before stopping but was certainly still in danger of escalating and doing myself harm mentally and physically from drinking far mote than healthy. At 41 I decided enough is enough! And now I'll be a year sober new years day, it gets better and better. Keep posting here, its a big step reaching out and I'm sure you'll work out the best way to make this process work because it really is worth it.
Welcome, you've come to a great place for help.
The things that helped me the most is posting and reading here daily, listening to an insane amount of quit lit and having the courage the put myself to first by saying no to some people or invitations (eventually they stop asking if/why your not drinking and will juet be glad to see you).
I was never an all day/everyday drinker and I think I was far worse on my 20's than just before stopping but was certainly still in danger of escalating and doing myself harm mentally and physically from drinking far mote than healthy. At 41 I decided enough is enough! And now I'll be a year sober new years day, it gets better and better. Keep posting here, its a big step reaching out and I'm sure you'll work out the best way to make this process work because it really is worth it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 14
Being open
Hi Ben, welcome to the best place on the internet.
I am a very infrequent poster which makes me feel guilty because I wouldn't have kicked the habit if it wasn't for the wonderful people on here, but I am proud that I am coming up to 18 years sober. Like you, I tried moderation and it didn't work. Total abstinence is the only solution. My friends were not heavy drinkers but most of my social activities involved ending up in a pub. I decided that the only way to become clean was to be clean. If anyone said "go on, have a beer" when I had asked for a sparkling water, I would tell them that I couldn't because I was a recovering alcoholic. Being completely open about it has been what has kept me on the right path.
It was hard at first, of course. I felt shame that I had allowed alcohol to take over my life, and admitting this to others was difficult, but the overwhelming majority of people I have told have been supportive. In fact, if anyone was to have a poor opinion of me due to my weakness, I don't want them in my life anyway.
Whether you decide to take this route is up to you. It worked for me, but might not work for others. Either way, you have done the right thing by joining this forum.
Best wishes for your recovery.
p.s. I have a couple of friends who say that they are allergic to alcohol. I don't know if that is true, but it works fort them anyway.
I am a very infrequent poster which makes me feel guilty because I wouldn't have kicked the habit if it wasn't for the wonderful people on here, but I am proud that I am coming up to 18 years sober. Like you, I tried moderation and it didn't work. Total abstinence is the only solution. My friends were not heavy drinkers but most of my social activities involved ending up in a pub. I decided that the only way to become clean was to be clean. If anyone said "go on, have a beer" when I had asked for a sparkling water, I would tell them that I couldn't because I was a recovering alcoholic. Being completely open about it has been what has kept me on the right path.
It was hard at first, of course. I felt shame that I had allowed alcohol to take over my life, and admitting this to others was difficult, but the overwhelming majority of people I have told have been supportive. In fact, if anyone was to have a poor opinion of me due to my weakness, I don't want them in my life anyway.
Whether you decide to take this route is up to you. It worked for me, but might not work for others. Either way, you have done the right thing by joining this forum.
Best wishes for your recovery.
p.s. I have a couple of friends who say that they are allergic to alcohol. I don't know if that is true, but it works fort them anyway.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Originally Posted by BenfromLondon
Some questions I have, how did you manage to get away from it? Did it involve making new friends and distancing yourself from others who love a tipple? My trouble is that in social situations with my friends it involves drinking. I seem to be surrounded by people who love doing it including some family members.
I managed the way you are now by first thinking about it, and then searching for help, some of which didn't help, but maybe all of it put together did help in an cumulative sort of way. And along the way, I began to have certain insights, one of which that recovery (TOTAL ABSTINENCE) was an all or nothing situation. You either do it or you don't. You recover or you fail. There is nothing between those two points that represents a compromise.
Yes I did make new friends and I didn't just distance from others. Some were out of my personal sphere for good. I made changes that seemed Draconian at the time, but in retrospect were piddling things that I exaggerated beyond reason. Make no mistake, these were big changes at the time. The fell in the category of being extremely hard. I held onto my chair during cravings when it would have been easy to just pour a drink. I held myself to commitments with a take no prisoners attitude. Somethings were down right distasteful at the time, but I wanted to quit and decided that was more important than being a drunk for the rest of my life.
Keep trying, searching, and be honest. This is not an easy undertaking in the beginning. Now after 26 years, it is so second nature that I wonder why it once seemed so hard. Well it was hard. It was different. We are creatures of habit, especially alcoholics, and we would rather not change until we come to terms with what being drunk for the rest of our lives actually means. It means that things can only get worse.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
I drank in the evenings as well. Most evenings. Good days and bad days all revolved around alcohol.
How did I manage to get away from it? I structured my time so alcohol was not involved.
Wake, SR, Coffee, run or weights, work, dinner, bath, SR, bed. Rinse and repeat until that schedule/ structure became my new normal. I did not go out with friends or do anything that compromised the new structure. Chop wood and carry water for months. I read a lot. I listened to podcasts. I created a different way of living for myself. I did experience an extreme amount of anxiety during this structure but I kept my eye on the prize. The prize being that I was alcohol free and living my best life. It worked. I am free from the mental, emotional, and physical dependence that alcohol had on me for over a decade or more.
You can change your life. You may have to let go of some friends. You may outgrow them. You may find that your interests will be different. Its okay. Just take it one day at a time and do your best work each day. I believe in you.
How did I manage to get away from it? I structured my time so alcohol was not involved.
Wake, SR, Coffee, run or weights, work, dinner, bath, SR, bed. Rinse and repeat until that schedule/ structure became my new normal. I did not go out with friends or do anything that compromised the new structure. Chop wood and carry water for months. I read a lot. I listened to podcasts. I created a different way of living for myself. I did experience an extreme amount of anxiety during this structure but I kept my eye on the prize. The prize being that I was alcohol free and living my best life. It worked. I am free from the mental, emotional, and physical dependence that alcohol had on me for over a decade or more.
You can change your life. You may have to let go of some friends. You may outgrow them. You may find that your interests will be different. Its okay. Just take it one day at a time and do your best work each day. I believe in you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: west falls, ny
Posts: 602
Hi Ben,
. Years ago I was quite the young drunk.
My car always took me to the bar near work when I got out.
Drove home seeing double every night,
Not responsible at all, I shudder to think of it now.
Chain smoked too, inhaled down to my toes.
At the risk of losing my future wife, I quit both cold turkey.
. I totally had to drive out of the way to not go past the watering holes anymore.
Most of my drinking buddies were coworkers who seemed to have a newfound respect for me.
And a few bar friends that I didn't work with, I just never saw again.
It was well worth the price.
My personal opinion is that it's nearly impossible to hang out at the pub with the same cronies, thinking that I will sip lemonade
. Years ago I was quite the young drunk.
My car always took me to the bar near work when I got out.
Drove home seeing double every night,
Not responsible at all, I shudder to think of it now.
Chain smoked too, inhaled down to my toes.
At the risk of losing my future wife, I quit both cold turkey.
. I totally had to drive out of the way to not go past the watering holes anymore.
Most of my drinking buddies were coworkers who seemed to have a newfound respect for me.
And a few bar friends that I didn't work with, I just never saw again.
It was well worth the price.
My personal opinion is that it's nearly impossible to hang out at the pub with the same cronies, thinking that I will sip lemonade
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