AJ143143

Hi all ... so today someone I cared about a lot blocked me from messaging him. It was someone who I dated for a few months a year and a half ago. We had a back and forth odd relationship but managed to make it into the friend zone. We texted just about everyday. Though I texted more and on occasion I would feel a bit ignored... a few times I asked him if it bothered him if I texted him and he would say "no not at all... I love hearing from you"... even like a month ago I asked again and he said the last thing he would want is for me to stop texting... Then out of the blue today we were chatting a bit and all of a sudden he blocked me... My feelings are pretty hurt right now... I know for sure he blocked me... Why would someone encourage you to stay in their life if they didn't want you in it? This is really triggering me ... I cared about this person a lot. Still not drinking... but I am sad.... I feel so silly for continuing to stay in this persons life... I am crushed actually and feel a little humiliated... I totally recognized I liked him more than he liked me when we dated but dang this feels harsh...

VikingGF

I ‘m sorry this happened, AJ. It does sound like you are better off, this person seems to have little regard for friendship and quite bad manners. Maintaining a relationship with an ex is tricky in the best of circumstances. I know it’s hurtful, but try and move forward, focus on your sobriety and EXCELLENT work coming here to get some support!

Dee74

I'm glad you came here instead of drinking AJ.

The block may be a mistake in which case it will be fixed
If it was an intended block, there's not much you can do.

Maybe the problem is with them and not with you? maybe this relationship has run its course, or maybe the universe is telling you its time to move on and find other friends?

whatever the case, continue to treat yourself the way you want to be treated - stay sober
D

Anna

Yeah, I agree with Viking, it's hard to have a friendly relationship with an ex that you really cared about. I'm sorry that you're hurting, but it seems that he didn't value your relationship. I hope you can move on.

Hevyn

Hi A J. Proud of you for posting about what's going on. For the longest time, I just grabbed a drink without even thinking - and then paid a heavy price.
It always costs us when we rely on it to calm ourselves down or ease our pain. It might help for a short time, but then reality hits back - twice as hard. What you're feeling now will lessen & eventually fade away - and you'll still be sober. You'll be so glad you didn't choose to drink. You'll have a clear head tomorrow & can continue to gain strength as you heal.

AJ143143

Thank you... My first reaction was to cry. I did that for 30 min or so. I just really wish he would have communicated to me that something I was doing was annoying instead of telling me .... Not very long ago ( 5 weeks maybe ) he told me to rest easy and his reality is that after all this time and with our individual success and respect for one another and our chemistry he doesn't see why we wouldn't work out together".... This is after dating for 3 months or so... ending it a year and a half ago...maintaining some type of communication almost daily for a year and a half... I am really just ...I don't know.... sad... very very sad

AJ143143

Thank you. It has run it's course clearly ... I am just super sad he couldn't communicate that with me. I mean we had talked about a lot of personal and heavy things. His depression issues... my anxiety issues... His family dynamic.... I mean I felt close to him.... I am just really sad he didn't feel the desire to tell me he was annoyed first...

AJ143143

His actions show he didn't value the relationship. I am just sad

VikingGF

Oh, that comment he made changes things. Stringing others along is very uncool, stay far away from this one going forward. Accept no apology, stay strong and like Dee says, treat yourself the way you want to be treated and accept nothing less from others. You’re doing great!

AJ143143

Thanks everyone. It’s bedtime here so I will be in bed shortly

nez

I know it hurts and is painful, but even in the midst of this pain you did something great that shows your strength and your courage. You came on here, posted and shared about what is going on with you. That is empowering. It helps you and it helps other as well. You are growing and getting better and you deserve better.

Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behavior decides who stays in your life. Stay the course and you will reap better as you become better.

AJ143143

I LOVE THIS "Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behavior decides who stays in your life. " I am going to get this printed in pretty writing and framed. Thank you

DriGuy

Rejection is one of many possible triggers. We cannot control other people. We can only control our reactions. There are two ways I can think of to react to triggers. One is to avoid them, but sometimes they are beyond our control so this leads to the second option, which is harder but still possible. We can learn to ignore them, or if you prefer in this case, move on, and this specific situation, move on without him. Leave him behind and go forward. Such a task can be more daunting for some than for others, but it is a grown up response, IMO. Drinking is an option, but totally useless in solving the actual problem. If you are an alcoholic, it's worse than useless, it devastating to your physical and mental well being.

silentrun

Great work! Maybe he blocked you because he has a new girlfriend. There are any number of reasons he could have done that. It's not safe to assume his actions were because of anything you did