LazaB

I drank 2 times in the last 3 months , on July 9th and August 10th , i failed those days but every other day was successful , anxiety is still very very bad , i am using benzos when things start getting out of control ( not every day ) , i know that they are bad but there is no other way , almost every day it's either a panic attack or a benzo , so far i can see improvement's in my thinking ( i am very careful with benzo's and i never take too much , just enough to function ) and i almost never even think about reaching out for a drink , which is what used to be the first thing i would think about , i can not see myself enjoying drinking ever again , i just hope that my brain starts recovering a little bit.

Zencat

Hello Laza

You had a couple slip-ups, that can happen in recovery. Do you know what triggered you into drinking?

I too have anxiety called GAD. I know it can get really bad without proper treatments.
I believed that once too. I had to abandon the benzo flow in recovery because of my nasty addiction problem with them . Even at low doses addiction will happen. It's just is the nature of that drug. Talk therapy, non-narcotic psych meds, AA/NA participation and other support resources can help just as much or more than a benzo rx.
Just my opinion, take it or leave it'.
I only hope the very best for you.
"No Drinking No Matter What" is your new mantra.

Anna

Hi LazaB, I'm glad you're working hard on your sobriety. It sounds like you're doing well.

The thing with taking benzos to deal with anxiety/panic attacks, is that you're not dealing with the root issue, and taking benzos is not really a long-term solution. I have had anxiety all my life and panic attacks, too. Stopping drinking helped, but understanding how to manage panic attacks helped too. Belly breathing is so simple and effective. Sit down in a comfortable chair, sit up straight and put your hands on your belly or if it's more comfortable you can lay down.Close your mouth and take a slow, deep breath in through your nose. When you breathe in, you want your belly to fill with air and get bigger like a balloon. Also, there are lots of good books to help:

Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places that Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain that Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful Way Through Anxiety

RAL

I also take Benzos when my anxiety is really bad. But I try not to. Tbh even tho it helps in the moment the after effects are so awful and the need for more are just too dangerous for me. I've not had one fir over 2 months now.

There are better and other ways

VikingGF

I don't have personal experience with benzos, but have been right there with two of my people who have- unfortunately, the withdrawal from them is the cause of the need for them and those symptoms are often confused with genuine panic disorder. I agree with Zencat- find another way if you can, ask for help from your medical professionals and I hope your brain can get better, too. Wishing you all the best.

LazaB

I really hope that the root cause is alcoholism because i never had panic attacks before i got addicted to alcohol , my plan is to take them for a first few months of sobriety , like a heroin addict who takes methadone in the first few months or even years in some cases to make his transition into normal life easier , and then taper off.

Anna

It could be that alcoholism is the cause of the panic attacks. If that's the case, then the panic attacks should stop on their own in sobriety. The benzos would not be needed. And, you will then need to withdraw from the benzos which, I understand, is a tough road. And, I think you will find that many heroin addicts can never taper off methadone. They can cut down quite a lot but then find it too hard to make the jump. I honestly think that this is your AV talking.

mns1

Hey Laza. Have you ever looked into working with a therapist who specializes in CBT or CPT? I went through several years of CBT which, in combination with persistent mindfulness meditation practice, has worked wonders for my anxiety. You can even learn to spot a panic attack coming on and stop it before it gets bad. CPT is something I'm just starting to work on more diligently to deal with PTSD, which triggers anxiety for me a lot of the time.

If those types of methods don't sound feasible to you then adopting a basic mindfulness practice can go a long way. I consider meditation the single most powerful tool in my arsenal.

Anxiety is tough. Hope you find something that helps. Hang in there.

LazaB

Thank you all for your responses , i will try to take a longer break from benzos starting tomorrow , the longest break i had recently was 5 days in the last week of May and it wasn't that bad , so i guess that i am not physically addicted , i will try to go for as long as i can starting tomorrow and i will keep you posted on this thread.

LazaB

First 24h are done , no benzos and no anxiety at all today , but i always have good days and bad days , so i know that the s*** storm is coming

AJ143143

Hi . I was prescribed .25 of Xanax 2 times a day a while back. General anxiety is what I believe was a big cause in my drinking. I didn’t take them daily … sometimes I would go weeks and not notice. What I did notice is 3-4 days before my period my anxiety would be so intense I couldn’t function. Then right when I started it would go away. When I put these 2 things together I realized it was hormone related and it helped me deal with the triggers. For me personally , I still keep Xanax around for moments ( like the day before my period)… I can deal with it with meditation if I don’t have a big work project to present that day. If the perfect storm happens where I’m filled with anxiety and I have to preform. I save the Xanax for that day. It doesn’t happen often. It did help to realize there were certain times of the month that were bad

mns1

One day at a time Laza.

"Fate whispers to the warrior, 'You cannot withstand the storm.' The warrior whispers back, 'I am the storm.'"

LazaB

I failed on my second day. I definitely need to cut coffee out of my life , i had 2 cups today and my anxiety shot up really bad during one of the online classes that i was doing so i took a benzo , it was immediately after my second cup of coffee , if i didn't have online classes i would try to suffer though the wave of anxiety but it was really bad and i need to work ( function ) so i took it. Trying to stay positive and tomorrow i will try again and i won't have coffee anymore , no matter how sleepy i feel.

mns1

How are you doing Laza?