Feeling worthless and discouraged
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,161
When I 1st came here and quit I was often discouraged reading about all the days others had thinking I would never get that far. Why would I think I could? I had never been able to before.
But I REALLY wanted to be one of those people.
I had to stop focusing on how many days I had. Stop comparing myself to others.
As long as I am sober today that is ALL that matters.
But I REALLY wanted to be one of those people.
I had to stop focusing on how many days I had. Stop comparing myself to others.
As long as I am sober today that is ALL that matters.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Near the mountains
Posts: 1,542
I know the feeling Lila.
I want to be at day 100 but I never think I can make it through 99 days to get there. So I just give up instead. When I come back to face reality the same hurdles are there.
I think that you stated the answer in your post, just make it through the night.
Tomorrow, try to do the same thing again.
It's not easy but it's starting to get easier...
I want to be at day 100 but I never think I can make it through 99 days to get there. So I just give up instead. When I come back to face reality the same hurdles are there.
I think that you stated the answer in your post, just make it through the night.
Tomorrow, try to do the same thing again.
It's not easy but it's starting to get easier...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,061
When I first came here I thought everyone had a magic cure except me! I was the loser that couldn't get it.
I kept coming back, gradually got more involved, kept trying and trying - failing. Then slowly I started getting more and more days. I got a month then a year ...
Your desperation reminds me of exactly how I was. Feel free to look back at some of my posts, I truly was in the depths of despair and couldn't break free. It was hard, there is no miracle but gets that little bit easier each time you resist the AV.
It can be done Lila and you will succeed I'm sure.
I kept coming back, gradually got more involved, kept trying and trying - failing. Then slowly I started getting more and more days. I got a month then a year ...
Your desperation reminds me of exactly how I was. Feel free to look back at some of my posts, I truly was in the depths of despair and couldn't break free. It was hard, there is no miracle but gets that little bit easier each time you resist the AV.
It can be done Lila and you will succeed I'm sure.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hi Lila,
for all of us this is a private battle. The days mean nothing, it can all end for any of us anytime.
It is very possible for you to get to the same mindset of people who have a much higher day count, and breaking the cycle is the beginning of that.
Focus on today, just today, then do the same tomorrow, and things WILL get better and clearer.
You can do this!
for all of us this is a private battle. The days mean nothing, it can all end for any of us anytime.
It is very possible for you to get to the same mindset of people who have a much higher day count, and breaking the cycle is the beginning of that.
Focus on today, just today, then do the same tomorrow, and things WILL get better and clearer.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: May 2021
Location: England
Posts: 1,850
.... as Mr PL says this is a private battle that we all fight in different ways, but we all share one thing and that is that everyone here does, or has had, a big problem with addiction. What ever works to win the battle, counting days, setting goals, exercise. I feel for you as I have been, if not where you are, then somewhere that was similar, and it's hard and depressing and annoying and disheartening. I really , really hope you find a way that works for you lila..and as others have said...it IS only today that matters,
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
Hi Lila,
You sound very depressed. Can you see a Family Doctor and be referred for mental health services?
I understand what it's like to be unable to get out of bed or shower. Sometimes it feels like the water hitting you is an assault rather than refreshing. If you have a bath, getting into a warm bath can be soothing. Even if you go straight back to bed.
I would try and set boundaries with your neighbour who is certainly not helping in my opinion.
Perhaps post in the 24 hour thread.
All we have is today. Please don't let others who may have longer sobriety discourage you, but there is so much knowledge and help from them.
You sound very depressed. Can you see a Family Doctor and be referred for mental health services?
I understand what it's like to be unable to get out of bed or shower. Sometimes it feels like the water hitting you is an assault rather than refreshing. If you have a bath, getting into a warm bath can be soothing. Even if you go straight back to bed.
I would try and set boundaries with your neighbour who is certainly not helping in my opinion.
Perhaps post in the 24 hour thread.
All we have is today. Please don't let others who may have longer sobriety discourage you, but there is so much knowledge and help from them.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I am sorry to hear that Lila. It’s where many of us ended up when we found we had to quit, because of course alcohol is a depressant. Can you attend some AA meetings? I found them very helpful at the beginning.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 278
I don't count the days myself. I do remember the date of my last drink, so I could figure out how many days it's been if I needed to, but I don't carry around a running total in my mind. For me, it's more powerful to say "I don't drink anymore" than to say "I've been sober for XXX days." As always, there are other approaches... some people get great value out of watching their sober count tick upwards, and I wouldn't ever talk anyone out of doing that if it helps them.
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