Juliedancer

I noticed that DriGuy had posted a while back about a book called " Alcohol Explained" so I decided to buy it. I am finding this very helpful! It so makes sense. I wish I could recommend it to my ex, but we are not communicating. Hard not to want to help...but I know, he has to want to help himself.
What I found interesting was the whole focussing on the negative, because that was exactly how he was. It became weird... How much he viewed everything so negatively. Even situations we both experienced, he saw it differently than I did.
I'm glad I saw that in your posts, DriGuy! Great recommendation.

DriGuy

Another book that is more science oriented is Under the Influence. There are two versions, the later one, authored by one of the two original co-authors may not be as worthwhile as the original, but I didn't read the later one. The original is over 20 years old now, but it explains the chemical chain of events that takes place after the alcoholic takes the first drink of the evening, or the first drink after a long period of sobriety. Knowing the chemistry behind my inability to stop after that first drink helped me. It spelled out clearly why my constant drinking wasn't just a psychological flaw. It wasn't some personality defect, but an actual biological reaction to the way the alcoholic liver breaks down alcohol.

This doesn't mean it's never a psychological problem. In fact, there is almost always a psychological component at work too. Of course, this information is only useful to someone who is ready to stop drinking. In my case, it was during the dire straights near the end of my drinking when I was so disgusted with my own behavior that I couldn't stand myself anymore.

Under the influence is very factual, while most books on recovery are more philosophical in nature. Under the Influence lays out facts for those who prefer to solve problems using logic and devise their own plan for recovery. But no matter how much factual information you have, there will always be some difficult hurdles in recovery. Behavior change is hard for everyone, even normies, and there is always an element of brute psychological force required to make changes for most of us.

Sobriety is not a blessing that is bestowed on someone, although I admit it often felt like a miracle to me at times. There has to be personal involvement with self and the process. It takes serious commitment and effort, no matter what way you do it.

Anna

Julie, I'm glad the book was helpful to you. We have an excellent Book List compiled by our members on all aspects of recovery if you're interested:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ependence.html (Books on Recovery, Spirituality & Codependence)