Surlyredhead

In order to finally win, I had to admit defeat. Sounds odd I know. I had to give up fighting against my arch enemy (Alcohol) and admit that it won, more than that, I had to admit that it would win 100% of the time. The only fight that I could succeed in, was the fight that I was not a part of. When I start to feel like a gangster (tough) I have to be aware that I don't want to start that horrible fight that I can't win. I had to take that first step to give up:
I had to admit that I was powerless against Alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable......

Just my take on step one, this is how I see it, you might not read it that way, but it is just a different perspective. One day the light bulb clicked, and I knew I had to stop fighting(quit) in order to win.

Peace, Cathy

Free2bme888

Cathy, thanks!

At first glance, I was put off by AA for many reasons, (still am) but I think there is so much to gain from looking earnestly at those steps.

I erroneously ignored that first step for so long, as my initial interpretation was ‘heck no, I AM POWERFUL against alcohol)! I thought ‘what is with these people, don’t they know it’s a CHOICE!?’

Well, after multiple tries, I finally got the real message.

I AM POWERLESS (once I take that first sip). The off button is broken, and it will never NEVER, EVER, be fixed.

So, everyone, take it from Cathy, and all the good things there are to get from exploring AA, and listening to our elders (wise) people here who have long term sobriety.

The choice is, don’t take that first sip. Never, now.

Thanks Cathy, for your post ❤️🤓

Colin1

Right on Cathy! Hopefully I've learned that lesson this time too

Behappy1

My mom and I were JUST talking about this this morning!! There is not ONE thing that I can think of that I set out to do, no matter how big that I have not been able to achieve. Except this. Frankly, it pisses me off and most likely made me drink more just to prove that I could quit. That I was bigger than alcohol. After a DUI last weekend I have done a TON of soul searching. I have gone from very hopeful to tears in the blink of an eye. I have decided to hit this from ALL angles. Vivitrol, meetings, christian based meetings, counseling, SR and support from those who love me. For so long I isolated and thought I could do this myself. I cannot. This is a great post and thank you!

nez

When I finally came to grips with the fact that I can not control alcohol, alcohol lost it's control over me. GO FIGURE!!! :~)

Surrendered19

So true Surlyredhead. I like the fight analogy and it sums up how I felt when I finally quit. I unlaced the gloves, dropped them to the ground and walked away from the fight. Truth be told the fight wasn't much of a fight anymore as I was lying on the ground, unconscious, getting kicked in the head by steel-toed boozy boots. But when I came too that morning, that was it. No mas. No mas.

nez

Yeah without a doubt. I can get in the ring with Mike Tyson...and it will never end well for me. I win, when I don't get in the ring with Tyson. Today Mike Tyson and I coexist just fine. He is free to get in the ring any time he wants; and I am free to watch from outside the ring. No longer telling myself "This time it will be different.". I know better. Happy and content outside the ropes of the squared circle.

sugarbear1

surrender to win

KAD65

Yep, that was my experience, too. After 3 decades of trying to fight my addiction, I learned that the harder I fought, the stronger it got. For me, it took losing nearly everything of value to me to get it through my head that I was not going to win that fight by my efforts alone. First, I had to surrender and admit to that fact.

Alpine

Thanks for your post and sharing.

Leshar

I heard a slightly different version of step one on a podcast which made sense to me. "I am powerless over alcohol and my life had become unbearable." I was managing my life whilst drinking, not to an optimal level of course, but it was unbearable. Thanks for the post.

brighterday1234

We ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol (AA) 🙏

Hodd

That’s the spirit, surly. We’re taught not to admit defeat, etc., and it fuels our egos. It then goes against all that to admit defeat in the battle against alcohol, but it’s beaten all of us here. It’s like being beaten by a bully and running away forever. You’ve realised that at last when so many are still fighting a battle they lost years ago. Well done.

Behappy1

This is soooo true!! I was taught growing up to never give up. I was so sure that if I never gave up fighting I could stop alcohol. It is just now getting through my thick skull that giving up and walking away is my only option. I can't fight this. It just makes me mad when I am defeated which leads to more drinking. This is definitely an a-ha thread for me with a wealth of information.

RecklessDrunk

To over simplify it I see step 1 as accepting that I have an allergy to alcohol.

I do not react to alcohol like normal people. One drink is too many and a million isn't enough.

I also have an obsession to drink alcohol that would get completely refueled by taking just one drink. No matter how much sober time I get.

This obsession is a form of temporary insanity. That's all it is. When I am completely sober and have the idea to put a chemical in my body that I know will have consequences.

Thats why I believe they use the term restore us sanity in step 2. Because voluntarily harming ourselves is insanity!