ToughChoices

21 days clean and sober, my friends, but this is the longest I have been out of work in my entire adult life!

I am restless without work (even though 65 hour work weeks were killing my family life and certainly contributing to my overall level of CRAZY), so I'm trying to sort through what my next steps should be. I'm not really wired to be a housewife (hardest job there is), and I never have been. All this resting/thinking time is problematic in some ways. Helpful in others.

I’m trying to focus on my recovery with daily readings and AA meetings, counseling appointments, and SR time, but sometimes I think I’m thinking about it too much?!? It’s hard to focus on the healthy stuff when I am working so hard to figure out how I got mired in the unhealthy.

It would help our finances for me to go back to work, but I don’t want to put my recovery at risk by making a stressful, quick decision.

What have other people done about work? Am I just craving distraction? Is that good? Bad?

How do I focus on myself while caring for my loved ones? How much introspection is helpful?

Thank you for your E, S, and H.
Love,
TC

Dee74

Volunteering in my community was a good thing for me when I got sober.
It got me doing things gave me a purpose - and got me out of my own head a little

If for some reason it threatens your recovery you can simply stop doing it
D

stickyone

Sounds like you are doing great. But what about adding more exercise in that schedule. It does wonders and also clears the mind. For me was looking at all the procrastinating I did and never got started. I find that doing the stuff you don't like the most will make you more grateful for the gift we already have. after it is all complete.

Anna

My recovery began at the same time as we moved (for husband's job) to a place where English was not the main language. So, I began recovery and not working at the same time. It turned out to be a huge blessing because I had been very stressed at work. And, I began volunteering with women who lived on the street. I met so many wonderful people during that time and I couldn't possibly feel sorry for myself when I was spending the days with women who had almost nothing.

nez

As long as one takes recovery lessons and tools with them to work. work can be almost like an extension lab or homework or workout for recovery muscles. It is a great place to put into practice our new mindset and way of thinking because work always provide lots of opportunities to practice and to inventory our progress.The key is to remember priorities and balance. Where we have been. Where we are now. Where we want to be in the future.

In early recovery if I started to think I could miss the meeting today, that was the very day I needed to make sure that I went go to a meeting. Same thing with participation on SR. Same thing with daily readings. Same thing with same things. Patterns and repetition. Building a solid foundation for a better life.

courage2

You've answered your own questions. You say, "I don't want to put my recovery at risk by making a stressful, quick decision." Correct. Don't move house, ask for a divorce, or get a new job. Pretty good advice for the first few months, until you're sure your head is on straight.

Even then, don't take a job as a distraction from what you need to do to get and stay sober. The things you do in early sobriety should clear your mind of confusion -- things like exercising, meditating, posting here -- not distract it purposelessly.

Congratulations on your sobriety!

Pekelover2

Thank you fo e your post, Tough.
I’m right there with you!! I’m in between jobs and free lance editing now. I do a lot of volunteer work. I read a lot.
But make your recovery your primary goal.

stickyone

Great post. Thank you it really helped me.

ToughChoices

Thanks to everyone for the input!

I get in such a hurry to FIX this! Now that I can admit the problem, let’s rush right along to the solution! I want to determine exactly what that solution will look like so that I can get on with living, but it’s looking like the only way out of this is through it. 🤔

I know that my addiction truly began to thrive when my work life moved into chaos. As uncomfortable as it is to sit with some of my feelings and the new downtime, I do think it’s necessary for me to get to the root of what drives me to overwork, drink, use, etc….

It helps me so much to pose questions here…sometimes typing it out is enough to really help clarify my thoughts. Amazing what some good sleep, a couple of meetings, help from friends who share the struggle, and another 24 sober hours can do to help grant me some serenity!

Thanks, all!
-TC

Colin1

TC, I also want to just figure things out and solve my problems. Preferably now, lol. I started my latest go at quitting drinking after I retired and found I had way too much time on my hands which made it really easy to let go and just drink all day, every day. Once I realized I wouldn't survive long if that continued I decided to give this sobriety thing another really good shot. I still wanted to get there asap, but I also saw that decades of alcoholism could simply not be turned around overnight. So I made a conscious decision to take it easy on myself and take the amount of time I needed to get there. To help me on that path I collected some writings that spoke to me so I could read them again any time I felt the need. Here are a few:

Going Easy
Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don't have to push so hard. Go in gentleness - go in peace.
Do not be in so much of a hurry. At no day, no hour, no time are you required to do more than you can do in peace.
Frantic behaviors and urgency are not the foundation for our new way of life.
Do not be in too much of a hurry to begin. Begin, but do not force the beginning if it is not time. Beginnings will arrive soon enough.
Enjoy and relish middles, the heart of the matter.
Do not be in too much of a hurry to finish. You may be almost done, but enjoy the final moments. Give yourself fully to those moments so that you may give and get all there is.

Whatever path you take, I know you can do it. You're working hard at this, you want it and you will succeed