Labfriend

I’ve visited the SR site numerous times and always find a bit of inspiration to do better going forward. I “quit drinking” 15 years ago, HOWEVER not quite 100% while invariably picking up again after many months or years of sobriety. I believe my AV says 99% of sober days is OK. That leave a problem for an average of 3-4 days a year. That prompts insanity with the old thought that 1 or 2 drinks old be ok. We know where that leads. Fortunately I seem to catch it after a couple of days and go through the withdraw penance to get back on track. SR information and other supporting friends help me through the process. But I still struggle with the occasional triggers that seem to come out of nowhere. Just trying to do better and keep on the sober track.I really admire and appreciate all the good posts on SR by those who have been through this and offer their earned wisdom to others.

doggonecarl

Welcome to the posting side of things.

Take a 100% sober position. That's the only way. You can't negotiate drinking with your addition. Not the tiniest bit. Even 99.999 sober opens the door to full scale drinking. Good luck.

Mizz

It sounds to me like you are dealing with what most of us deal with when it comes to alcohol. Some people have successfully gotten away from drinking for years or even decades but the "voice" is there......
You get back on track and that is what matters! Perhaps you can use this forum as means to connect, but also as a tool to use when you start to think that drinking is an option. Not that you asked for any advice.

Welcome to SR!

Anna

Yeah, I think when you begin negotiating with the AV, drinking becomes a possibility. I had to decide that drinking was no longer an option, ever. When you hear the AV chattering, can you acknowledge it and let it go, put it aside?

Hodd

It’s an odd situation.

A very strict dieter can have a sneaky choc bar as a reward. There’ll be no harm done, and the enjoyment might actually be beneficial for good mental well-being and all that.

But with alcohol, there’s no middle ground. It took me a lot of soul searching (and a few choc bars) to realise that. None of us here can have that sneaky drink. It could take years to reverse the damage. Let’s all take the easy option and don’t take that drink

calmself

For me, moderation was simply more of 'too much work for very less rewards' kind of thing.

Consider these things that will apply for everyone who tries to moderate - planning for drinking (how many, when), anticipation throughout the week (for me - when will Monday and Thursday evenings come?), losing focus on other important things, the inevitable hangover and following guilt, loss of quality sleep, AV begging for more, going out to get just one more, kids saying daddy slept (passed out) on the sofa.

Horrible, thanks for the minor relaxing effects but no thanks. I have other important things in life to focus on. Enough is enough for me.

MrPL

Welcome!

It’s great you realised 99% doesn’t work. You ll also find 100% feels much nicer.

Every time I tried to moderate my mind was completely focused on drinking. I d think when to start, best strategies, then when to stop, all very stressful!

Hevyn

We're so glad to see you posting, Labfriend.
SR helped me quit and stay quit after 30 yrs. Checking in every day helps keep me vigilant.

Vik88

Labfriend, we all know what you're going through. It's that i can drink one day and it will stop there, it never does. Now we just gotta figure out something that you can divert your attention to when those feelings appear. Something you might love perhaps? Something you might feel that booze hurts your chance of doing? I haven't gone nearly enough time wise as you have done not drinking.

Dee74

Hi and welcome labfriend

One of the best things I ever learned was its not the last drink that starts the madness, it’s the first.
I had to get to a position where no trigger was enough to make me drink again.

The more triggers I got through sober the less I was tempted back to the dark side.

The community here helped me, and I know we can help you too

D

nez

Years ago, when I used to ski at Telluride, the local sanitation service was the Sunrise Garbage Company. Their motto was " Satisfaction guaranteed or double your garbage back." My 1% drinking solution(?) always was guaranteed to return double my serving of hell and garbage.

I can hold my breath for a minute. If I do this twice an hour for 16 hours a day. I can escape from breathing for 1% of the time. The question is why? What is the payoff? Is it really worth the time and effort?

Breathing is a worthwhile pursuit. It is not overrated. There is absolutely nothing wrong with breathing and the rewards far exceed the effort required.

VikingGF

One sip is too much and a million sips is not enough. I see no reason to step back into the insanity, and SR is a big reason for that. Welcome to posting!

SimplySue

Hello Labfriend

I can totally relate! Last year I found myself calculating how many days I’d had a drink. Out of 365 days, I spent 351 sober. Of course that’s better than spending 351 days drunk, but it’s not good at all when I think of the way I drank during the binges. I realised that bargaining and reasoning with myself ( my AV) like that just wasn’t working. So that’s why I came here for some support.
It’s been amazing to find so many people in the exact same situation as me. It’s comforting to know there is somewhere for me to reach out if I feel I’m heading into a danger zone where a drink might seem reasonable. I think being honest about it is a huge step in the right direction. Good luck.

brighterday1234

This is the same for the spiritual path too if one wishes to attain peace of mind “Practice these principles in all our affairs…half-measures availed us nothing” (AA).