Icandothis2013

I have done this so often, I can’t remember if this is ‘normal’ (FYI nothing about this whole thing is normal! ). I was expecting to feel bettter but in fact I feel worse ..tired, lethargic, like I’m having an ‘out of body’ experience, so back under the duvet with tea and films. I HAVE to be OK by tomorrow as I have so much to do ! Never, ever, ever, ever doing this to myself again. It is the equivalent of self-harm and I wouldn’t deliberately knock my head against a wall, would I ? No, of course not! So, it has to stop !

5upersonic

I would say go easy on yourself today and take pride in being sober. A day of duvet, tea and films sounds perfect to set you up for a productive day tomorrow

Surrendered19

I've been sober over two years ICDT and on occasion, I'll still wake up with a wicked phantom hangover. It doesn't happen as often now, but it still happens. Early on I remember that it did happen frequently. As you so wisely point out, you don't ever have to go through early recovery again. This is it and although you might still wake up once in a while and feel like you do today, it will become less common and those feelings become fairly fleeting. Now my phantom hangovers are all in my head and go away within a few minutes of waking.

Steely

I agree with Surrendered Ican.

Also think, when, in the early days, we begin to get sober, the stress/anxiety, fear, anger, etc., we have been repressing with alcohol begins to emerge in reality. Nothing to mask it any longer. Sounds like it should happen really.

This is the stuff I've had to manage and understand on my journey toward lasting sobriety.

It sucks, but it's real. And as I've navigated the suck I have grown, and will never drink again because I want to continue to grow. I like this bit now. Proud of myself for facing life on life's terms. No shame.

MrPL

Hi Ican,

Don’t worry, this is super expected. When I “quit drinking” before I sobered up to find there was this big emptiness there to be fixed I couldn’t hide anymore. That became my focus, and it took time but one thing at a time, one step at a time, it all got there.

It may feel like it’s “worse”, or like you are not getting anywhere, but staying sober is the essential first step, the big one. Soon you have more and more clarity about where to go next, one small step at a time.

So don’t worry and take as many duvet days as you need, just hang in there with your sobriety and be honest with yourself, the rest will follow.

Best wishes

Mr P

RecklessDrunk

If an alcoholic were to graph days sober on the x axis and how they feel on the y axis, it is unlikely to be a straight line going northeast.

Its more like a graph of the stock market. Over the long term the stock market goes up but it does not go up every day. It ends up being a squiggly line with lots of ups and downs. Longer term though it goes up. Stay the course!

Your graph is just starting so unlike the actual market you don't have much downside if you stay sober.

Longer term, I think the sober alcoholic ends up more stable then the market.

Icandothis2013

That’s a great analogy Reckless ! Thanks !

Patcha

You're withdrawing and detoxing. It will take a few weeks for the dopamine balance in your brain to reset itself. Likely you'll feel crap for about 10 days and then you'll be over the worst of it. Hang in there. In four weeks you'll feel like a different person.