justinmyroom

Hi, I'm just going to spill my thoughts here. Not sure if it is productive or not.

I know I need to stop drinking. I posted a while back about trying to stop again... I haven't been able to sustain it. I have tried to stop many, many times by myself and it has never lasted for over 6 months. I desperately need to stop and I think I have finally come to the conclusion that I don't think I can do it by myself. I need to be honest with someone, anyone, but that thought is absolutely terrifying. I find my alcoholism SO embarrassing and so I am still very reluctant to let anyone know the true extent of my drinking. It also worries me to have information about my alcoholism on my medical record and so I'm scared to go to the doctor. It worries me that that information will follow me forever and I wonder if I will be treated differently by medical professionals in the future because of it.

It also worries me to go to the alcohol support services in my area (UK) as I live in an area where rates of alcoholism and drug abuse are very, very high. I'm a young girl and it worries me that I won't be taken seriously here and that I don't deserve to use the services because there's no acute risk to my health (obviously my alcohol abuse is scarring my liver, but that takes time to become an issue usually.) There's AA... I'm not religious, but maybe I could give it a go? I don't know guys, I honestly just feel very overwhelmed with the situation. I feel uncomfortable with all the options I have. Please let me know your thoughts. What should I do? Am I just being paranoid with my medical record?

doggonecarl

You are worried about the future? Active drinking is going to ruin your future more than having it on your medical record will. Drinking could lead to a criminal record? That doesn't terrify you, but being a recovered alcoholic does?

least

I would cast aside any doubt and give each of these things a go. Do whatever it takes to get you sober. And once you're sober, make a plan to stay that way.

I wouldn't worry about your medical record. Better to have marked down that you sought treatment for your alcoholism rather than continuing to drink.

Mizz

Worry. I know worry. Worry is such a monster. It takes a lot of energy to worry. I've spent a great deal of time with worry.

Lets take the worry all the way to end of the road here.

If you tell your doctor that you need help, and the information goes on your record, then what? Services and help most likely will be provided. You get help. You start your journey into recovery.

There is nothing wrong with admitting to having an issue with something and getting help with said issue. Its okay to admit to someone else that what you are doing is not working. Its okay to say "I need help." It is okay and perfectly acceptable to speak with someone. No man / woman is an Island.

I understand fear. I have feared a lot of things in my life. I feared admitting to alcoholism. I feared there would be consequences. I feared and feared. Where I sit now.....I am completely accepting of the issues I have had with alcoholism and accept that I am in recovery from alcohol abuse. I no longer engage in active alcoholism. I am in recovery. My doctor does know I am in recovery. Is it on my records? I don't know. I don't care. My life is what matters. Your life matters. Getting help and admitting to needing help is a strong strong act. Its empowering to take back your life from something that will ultimately destroy it.

You can do this!

justinmyroom

Thank you so much for this beautiful post

justinmyroom

I understand what you mean. I guess it is hard to imagine those things happening at this point, but going to the doctor is an imminent threat if you see what I mean. Well said, thank you.

Patcha

There are loads of secular AA meetings. Here is a list of zoom meetings you can join. https://www.ftcleveland.com/worldwide-secular-meetings

There are websites like https://soberistas.com/ too

Search for alcohol recovery podcasts wherever you pod.

Join the December group here and start your new life alcohol free right now :-)

KAD65

This was exactly one of the reasons I never admitted my alcohol addiction to any doctors for most of the 30 years I drank. It wasn't until I continued drinking for so long that the withdrawal symptoms were too terrifying and debilitating for me to stop on my own that I went to the doctor for help. As you have stated, you also realize now that you can't do this alone. I can say that being treated for alcoholism, and that fact being on my medical record, hasn't resulted in any kind of different treatment by anyone in the healthcare industry. But even if it had, is that really more important than getting help that could save your life?

As for maintaining sobriety, I am involved in AA. That has been the only thing that has helped me consistently. There are many benefits to the program, most notably the social interaction with people who understand what you're experiencing.

Kaily

In the first instance the Dr would probably send you to the Drug and Alcohol services. So I would just go there first then your GP won't be involved. No one is not alcoholic enough to attend, it is open to anyone that has a problem. I'm sure they will find it refreshing that you have asked for help before things have got totally out of control.

You need to stop thinking and start taking your first steps to change things. They are there to help. Good luck.

RAL

Hi
I'm in the UK too and female though older. I wish I had your courage and strength and sought help when I was younger. I agree with Kaily, just go to alcohol services without your GP.

there are also many support groups available online and irl. I have been going to SMART meetings which focus on coping with urges, CBT and teaching skills to live a better, balanced life. Great for stopping drinking but also relates to so many areas of life.

https://smartrecovery.org.uk/online-meetings/

DriGuy

I was uncomfortable with the options I had too. It's part of why we don't get over our drinking. We don't like the options. As for AA, I'm not religious either, but where I lived it was my only option. You don't have to buy into the spiritual part of the program, but you will meet people who have gotten over the un-comfortableness caused by their alcoholism. Many of the members love sobriety, which was a real eye opener for me, and they do want you to get better. So the fellowship part of it was very helpful for me, even if they could not make me fit into the 12 step program. The fellowship also gave me a safe couple of hours each night during the worst of my cravings, where I could be around safe people. This helped me break the craving cycle.

This forum does that too, although without the face to face quality of a live group, but you will not be pushed to believe in a higher power, which opens up additional pathways to recovery, and your anonymity is even safer here than in Alcoholics Anonymous. This forum was not available when I got sober, but a live group was a very strong influence in my recovery. Keep in mind that most people do it on their own. It's just that some of us couldn't do it that way. I for one, do not claim to be King Kong, and I don't see needing help from others as a weakness. It's more like being smart enough to recognize a useful resource.

I'm happy you are here. You don't need to continue drinking, which will only get worse. This is a safe place to be, which is almost unheard of on the internet these days.

advbike

I agree with the others. Use the resources here, read and post daily. Find some AA womens group meetings to attend IRL or online. The monthly classes really help for support (smaller group). I understand it's difficult to stop partying when you are young and want to be out with friends. But you also run a risk of bad things happening to you when drunk, and you can have a fantastic life if you quit now. It's actually physically much easier when young. Have you read Alcohol Explained, by William Porter? He explains why we find it hard to stop, crave more, etc.

MissPerfumado

Welcome justinmyroom!

I certainly understand how hard it is to be honest with your GP about your drinking.

When I was well and truly ready to quit, I confided in a trusted friend that I was thinking of quitting for good. This friend gave me the name of a clinic she went to for mental health issues and I decided to give them a try.

I made an appointment with a GP there. I had never seen this particular doctor before, but I was feeling exhausted, miserable and desperate as I sat down in her office. When she asked me why I had come to see her, I told her I needed help to stop drinking. When she asked me how much I drank, I remember closing my eyes, pausing for a moment and knowing I had to tell her the truth.

That pause seemed to last a long time. In that pause, I had a tremendous realisation that, by telling her the truth, it would finally be over. There would be shame and embarrassment, but I wouldn't have to pretend anymore. I wouldn't have to deny anymore. I wouldn't have to continue putting all of this effort into propping up this lie of a life I was living. I could just put down the whole awful burden I was carrying, put my hands up and say, that's it. I give up! I'll do whatever it takes to get better. I surrender.

And that's what I did. I told her the terrible truth of how much I drank. I watched her face carefully.

With no judgment, she replied instantly that I had to stop immediately. She offered me a prescription of lorazepam to help me sleep, which I didn't end up needing. She referred me to a psychologist in the same clinic, for counselling. We made an appointment so I could come back and do my bloodwork later in the week.

That moment of truth-telling in the doctor's office changed my life. I don't care what my medical record says about it. If my medical record says I am an alcoholic, so be it. But I'm also someone who did something about it. And that's the more important thing.

SoberJohn

We all fall off the wagon. Some after a day and others go months and years and still fall off the wagon, myself included. For me eventually I realized that the pain the alcohol was causing was so great that I embraced sobriety much harder than I did during my other 1,000 quits and its worked for me for the last 2 years. Because as we get older it certainly doesn't get any easier so don't grow complacent with your sobriety, appreciate it everyday and the gifts it gives you and know you'll be on this rotating blueberry with us a lot longer and happier too.

anxiousrock

Where I live too, there are huge alcohol and drug issues with many residents. Lots of mental issues too...I can't get help for my eating disorder for another 2 years. I'd hate to know the length to wait for alcohol and drugs. You have to take it into your own hands sometimes and find the help you need.
AA, NA, CA, smart recovery, counseling, doctors, all available at little to no cost to you. Those are a good starting point.

brighterday1234

I recommend AA and staying close to SR. Those two are a great recovery strategy 🙏